(Closed) FI is Not Very Involved in the Wedding Planning

posted 5 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
Member
4441 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

Yup, definitely a guy thing IMO!  It probably depends on your relationship but with us, DH trusted me to handle things.  He only wanted to do the cake tasting πŸ™‚

Post # 5
Member
9062 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Generally, men don’t care. That’s just how it is universally. Every so often you’ll find one that gives a damn, but at the end of the day he’ll be married to you and that’s all he wants.

My husband has had very limited parts in our wedding plans. He piped up about the food and the cake. That’s it.

My theory is, it’s all on me. If he pipes up about something, it’s important and I should listen.

He doesn’t care where, how or when. He doesn’t care about flowers, colors or decorations. He doesn’t care about themes or music, he doesn’t care about guest lists (Except the people he wants to attend) or invitations.

Post # 6
Member
3157 posts
Sugar bee

@lovelylight99:  I believe this is around 95% of men. I hear of the few who want part of every single aspect but I’ve only seen those on TV.

I wanted to elope, but FI wanted a wedding because he didn’t want his mom to resent him so instead I resent him. Anyway, I started wedding planning and every single time I asked for his opinion, his response was, “I don’t care. Whatever you want.” Well, I got so frustrated at him that I let him know that I am no longer planning a wedding since I didn’t want to have one in the first place. He is now planning the wedding along with his mom – well mostly his mom – and I am less frustrated now.

Of course, the parts that were “our” responsibility – cake, officiant, and photographer, I had to guide him. He doesn’t understand that everyone doesn’t work in a last minute mindset like he does.

Post # 9
Member
1966 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Most grooms are “nid” aka not into details! (Wedding planner lol) My fi is the same he cares about cost since we are paying, the food (he’s a chef this is a biggie for him) and he picked purple as our main wedding color.  Thats it! Everything else is my call. If I’m torn on a decision I’ll turn to him for his opinion but really whatever I pick will be fine with him. He just wants to marry me πŸ™‚

Post # 10
Member
1382 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

OP, FH and I must’ve gotten into at least 2 fights about his nonchalance with wedding planning in the beginning Sealed.  Once I said, “I’m not marrying myself here.  Fine, I’m not even gonna plan anything anymore.  It’s now become unenjoyable”, he started to become way more proactive with the planning process.

Post # 13
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Hyperventilate:  Generally, men don’t care. That’s just how it is universally. Every so often you’ll find one that gives a damn, but at the end of the day he’ll be married to you and that’s all he wants.

That’s it! Men aren’t socialized growing up to care about the tux, the cake, the menu, the logistics etc. So why do women have these huge expectations of thinking their man is all of sudden going to become Mr. Wedding Planner? They may have a very broad opinion on few select aspects (Like mine is defintely interested in the food, but after that he’s pretty neutral). But most men that I know would sooner hang themselves then getting involved with the minutia of planning a wedding. I wouldn’t take it personal.

Post # 15
Member
9062 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

@bklynbridetobe:  I just expect my husband to.. like, show up. I have no other expectations or requirements than that. πŸ˜›

Post # 16
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

My approach is do all the vetting out. I only go to him once I’ve decided okay these are the final 2 or 3 options and ask hey what do you think. 9 times outta 1 he still won’t care, LOL and thats okay by me. But when its the preliminary planning and sorting I handle that or rely on RL friend.  Actually the best approach that I’ve found, isn’t “What do you like/think?” its more so “What is an absolutely no for you, tell me what is completely turn off?” I get more answers that way.

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