Post # 1
I’m so worried about my fiance. =/ He just graduated from college in December and is now job hunting/studying for a certification test, etc. Since coming back to the area after the holidays, his sleep schedule has been so out of whack. We don’t live together, but he’s told me that he has been having a really hard time sleeping lately. Waking up a lot during the night, just staring at the ceiling for hours, etc. He is so exhausted that he falls asleep during the day, and then the cycle just repeats itself. Then he feels bad because he didn’t accomplish anything because of napping during the day.
I know it has to be the stress. What can I do to help him? He doesn’t seem to want to talk about whatever is bothering him (he says his mind is “blank” when he’s awake at night). I haven’t really been bringing up wedding planning things either, because I don’t want to add to his stress, but he seems so discouraged about life. I know he can’t feel positive if he’s tired all the time.
Do any of you have tips for getting him back on track and sleeping normally?
Post # 3
Tryng to establis a specific night time routine might help. For example, at 8 o’clock he has a cup of tea, and watches the same show on netflix. At 9:00 he has a glass of milk (which is a sleep aid) and reads for an hour. at 10:00 he takes his book to bed, and reads until he falls asleep, or, if he doesn’t fall asleep reading, until 10:30, when he turns out the lights, and goes to sleep.
If all else fails, there are sleep aids, of course. I would try other things first; sleep aids are powerful, and can be habit forming.
Post # 4
I would suggest he see a therapist. Insomnia is usually psychological and he’s going through a lot of stress.
Post # 5
@whitemochi622: For my fiance having some ‘wind down’ time before bed seemed to help. He worked CONTINUOUSLY (like, literally would work overnight at the computer) before we moved in together. Now, around 8:00 we stop all work, have some tea, get pajamas on, and chill on the couch. Then around 9:30 we head into the bedroom and set the sleep timer on the TV for 60 minutes on a very low volume. He reads after the TV turns off until he falls asleep. The light is on a timer. It took a little while but he hasnow adapted to it quite well. On occassion he will still be up all night but he does take some Zzzquil to help when absolutely necessary. Good luck. I know how hard it is knowing the person you love is having trouble sleeping!
Post # 6
I suffer from insomnia every few months. There really isn’t anything I’ve found that really fixes it. I’ll only sleep a few hours for days at a time, but eventually, I’ll just get so tired that I fall asleep for what feels like forever and wake up feeling awesome.
My insomnia is caused by anxiety and stress, or when I ‘overdo’ it and stay up too late too many nights in a row.
I agree with trying to sleep routines, sometimes they help if I can’t fall asleep. Also, sometime drinking a glass of milk or eating before bed makes me sleep.
Post # 7
@jenilynevette: Look into melatonin. It’s a natural supplement, inexpensive, and a lot of people find it helpful.
Post # 8
Thank you all for your helpful suggestions! I’m definitely going to suggest a nighttime routine to him–hoping he’ll follow through.
@Jijitattoo: He actually briefly mentioned looking into melatonin… is it habit forming? I may do a Google search later to read up on it.
Post # 9
I’m going through this right now and man is it frustrating. I fall asleep easily, but just wake up around 1 or 2 am and that’s it for me. I get it every so often, but I’ve never really found anything that helps other than waiting it out. It’s never gone longer than a month (knock on wood).
Things I try are limiting screen time (TV, computer, iPad) before bed, reading with low light until I’m drowsy, melatonin, trying to stop drinking after 8 pm, get up and forget about falling back asleep, try to wake up my FI with my eyes. None of it makes much of a difference 🙂
Post # 10
@whitemochi622: I don’t necessarily have insomnia – I mean, I’m not laying awake for hours or anything – but I do have trouble with sleeping. I have trouble falling asleep most nights. And I often remember waking up during the night as well. I never feel rested either when my alarm goes off. And FI has told me that I’ve been sleep talking as well.
For me its usually caused by stress, anxiety, and/or depression. I’m guessing right now its stress and anxiety getting to me. I’m currently attempting a nighttime routine, but it can be tough sometimes.
Definitely have him try the routine before bed. And if he likes tea, see if he would be open to trying an herbal tea – like Sleepytime Tea or Chamomile Tea. It could help him relax enough where he can fall asleep more easily.
Post # 11
@whitemochi622: I’m sorry you’re going through this 🙁 I don’t sleep well (never have, really) and I know it can take a toll on my FI as much as me. Definitely look into melatonin (there are some suggestions that it can mess with BC, so I never took it), and in the meantime maybe pick up some regular benedryl. A friend told me to start taking it on bad nights and it worked wonders at letting me get some sleep. I wouldn’t recommend it every night, but it’s great for those times when I “know” it’s going to be a rough night. Good luck!