FI is terrible with money …

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
1435 posts
Bumble bee

What does he spend his money on?  I would talk to him about making a budget and sticking to it.  He may want to use the cash system for fun money and food. 

Post # 3
Member
8071 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Does he want to change his habits? I don’t know how you could force him. At the very least he should have an automated amount go to savings from each check- if you never see that amount you won’t miss it. Doesn’t he have any goals that require saving? Like a vacation/wedding/ anything? What the heck is he spending all his money on? Honestly I wouldn’t marry someone like that- your finances will be roped to his when you marry. Wealth isn’t wealth if you spend it all. Sounds like he needs budgeting 101. But if he doesn’t care, it’ll probably be a futile effort.

Post # 4
Member
3377 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

No way I’d marry that. Granted, being responsible with money was the #1 thing on my list, I couldn’t have even dated anyone who was stupid with money. It’s a deal breaker for me.

When I was dating “seriously” I was more interested in how much money men kept rather than how much they earned.

Post # 6
Member
13021 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

What could he possibly be spending all that money.  I honestly can’t even think of how someone could spend money that fast all the time.  Sounds like he needs a budget and/or for you to take over if you are more disciplined with money, IF he wants to save up for stuff and get his spending under control.  If he doesnt and wants to just spend and spend and spend, that’d be a deal breaker for me. 

Post # 7
Member
2782 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

greenmile12:  The only way you can potentially get him to change his habits without forcing him to – is to talk to him about expectations.  Does he contribute to bills at all?  Or does he just spend his money how he pleases and leaves the rest to you?

I’d tell him that he needs to contribute X amount to household bills, X amount to savings- if truly attainable– should NOT be too much to ask- and then the rest is his.  If he’s free to spend his moey how ever he pleases and has everything else essentially taken care of for him- why WOULD he save any money LOL (obviously there are many good reasons why- but hopefully you see what I am trying to say).

Post # 10
Member
13021 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Don’t feel bad that this is a deal breaker.  This is a HUGE deal.  $300??  So his living expenses is $300?  What about opening his eyes to what *real* living expenses would be like and encourage him to save that.  What is the rent in the area?  What about your property taxes?  Someone with no rent/morgage/car payment/loans, basically nothing to pay for should have a freaking fluffy savings account.

Post # 12
Member
3702 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

My FI was also terrible with money, but we are working on it and he is getting much better. It helps for me that our finances are merged, so he knows that I know everything he spends money on and is more reluctant to buy things that he doesn’t need, he also won’t buy anything large without checking with me. Though it seems like you are on the fence about even staying with this guy, so taking that step is probably not for you.

He should set up automated transfers to a savings account, IRA, whatever so that he can’t see the money there. Maybe if the money isn’t there in the account, he won’t spend it as readily. You could also ask for more money from him per month and save the rest of the money in a separate account yourself.  If he keeps saying he’s going to get another account or whatever, but not doing it, drive him down to the bank yourself and make him do it. 

Post # 15
Member
2205 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I don’t think I’d be able to deal with someone who has no sense of saving for the future and blows his paychecka on stuff I don’t even know about and refuses to admit his problem and sulks about it.

I’d almost say you should kick him out til he fixes his money habits- let him figure out how to live while paying rent on top of whatever the hell he spends his money on.

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