Post # 1
This was kind of inspired by the other post about birth control.
Two months ago, there was a little snafu and I ended up not getting my bc pills. I haven’t been on them for two months now. Ever since then, Fiance and I have averaged maybe once or twice a week for sex. We used to have sex at least three or four times per week. I felt like something was wrong with me. Finally, one day last week, Fiance admitted that we hadn’t been having sex a lot because I haven’t been on my pills. We ALWAYS use condoms, even when I’m on the pill. But, he says that is not enough.
When I am on the pill, even though he has a condom on too, Fiance pulls out before he ejaculates! I guess he thinks sperm is going to swim through a perfectly intact condom? Idk. When we have sex now that I’m not on the pill, it’s like he has a mental block and half the time he doesn’t ejaculate at all. Then, I end up having to do something else to finish him off.
Most guys will do anything to get the woman to agree to forego the condom, but it is exactly the opposite for us. I just feel like his paranoia puts a damper on our sex life, and I wish I could strangle whoever gave him sex ed. I am into spontaneous sex. But, whenever we’re somewhere that we can have sex spur of the moment, if there’s no condom, it’s a no-go. I definitely don’t want to have a baby, but I think Fiance is a little extreme.
Post # 3
Maybe he had an experience in the past that caused this paranoia?
Post # 4
I think this is a little extreme as well especially if you are on the pill and taking it correctly. I would talk to him about your feelings.
Post # 5
We are both pretty paranoid about it. I am on BC, we use condoms, and he pulls out… Getting pregnant is just NOT an option for us and I wouldn’t be comfortable if we didn’t do anything and everything to prevent a baby.
Post # 6
When you aren’t on the pill, I don’t blame him for being a bit paranoid. If I didn’t want to be pregnant, I wouldn’t fully trust just comdoms for birth control. The failure rate is too high for me to be comfortable with only that protection.
Post # 7
Well, he’s only been with two girls before me. According to what he tells me, he used condoms every time with those two girls, too. His ex girlfriend used to try to get him to stop using condoms because she wanted to get pregnant, and I think he just assumes I would want to do the same thing. But, I’ve made it clear that I don’t want any children, at least not any time soon. I just hate condoms. They irritate me, big time, and I hate having that barrier there between us.
Post # 8
I am getting back on the pill next week, btw! I would NEVER have sex with ZERO protection. If we did have sex with just the pill and no condom, I would want him to pull out.
Post # 9
Condoms have a really high failure rate compared to most other types of birth control. He is right to be paranoid. What if it broke while he was inside you? BAM, pregnant. I would never use condoms alone, personally.
Post # 10
I am not saying this to be mean, but I think that your Fiance is being responsible; not paranoid, and that is a good thing. Nothing except abstinece is 100% effective. I got pregnant with my first child on the pill, and I took it every day at the same time.
Post # 11
To be honest Im probably worse than your Fiance and I dont trust one BC method used alone. At this point in my life, I’d take non-spontaneous sex over a baby, the worse mood killer of all imo. Fiance is also annoyed by my antics sometimes but I dont really care. Until he finds a way to birth and breast feed a baby he can go somewhere.
Post # 12
I get where he’s coming from. I just got off my birth control earlier this month to particpate in our NFP class in good faith. Like you, I’m a believer in spontaneous sex and when I was on bc, it could happen anytime. Now that I am off birth control, I am so paranoid about it. We have had sex once and before he got anywhere close to me, a condom was on (before we hardly ever used condoms since I was on bc) and having been on bc for so long, I have no idea when I will actually ovulate.
The other day he wanted to have sex and I said no. Instead, I suggested we have “middle school sex”, where we could do anything but. It was actually fun and a fun way to reconnect and get what we really wanted out of the deal, namely a big O 🙂