Post # 1
I’m a stay at home mom, and I love it but I don’t think my FI realizes how hard I work during the day. I was talking about how stressed I am that the house is a mess and he told me that I need to get better at getting stuff done.
Im nursing so that takes a good 4 hours a day, plus getting my daughter ready, doing dishes, getting dressed, eating (hopefully). Plus napping so that I have milk, working out for the wedding, cooking etc. I guess he just thinks I sit at home and do nothing, but I’m not going to ignore my daughter when she is awake since she needs interaction to grow.
Im annoyed and a little hurt, since he normally is super understanding and supportive. He’s been with me through severe depression and a hard pregnancy. However I think he feels bad now because he is doing the dishes and making dinner.
Post # 3
@Mrscdnnavywife: You are doing the MOST IMPORTANT WORK. If he can’t grasp that, he needs to read some books about what it’s like to parent and breastfeed a newborn. He’s ignorant on this matter. Time for some education.
Post # 4
@Jijitattoo: I think it was said in the heat of the moment, because normally he tells me not to worry about it/he will clean. Still frustrating though especially since his job takes him away for weeks at a time.
Post # 5
Post # 6
Sorry! 🙁 You are doing really well! It sounds like doesn’t realise how hard it is nursing a baby and doing everything else. Perhaps he should be left with the baby and some expressed milk for a day or two, plus the chores 😉
Post # 7
@Mrscdnnavywife: It may be a good idea to lay out a days routine for him. Monday when he is at work, write down what you do at what time.
Sometimes seeing it is best to really understand.
And it may be a good conversation to have because
1) he will understand better and can ask questions
2) he may see something that can help you be more efficient and less stressed.
Without having him ever done it, it is a lot for him to just get how hard it can be. And sometimes, when you are in the midst of a situation, it can be hard to see how it can be made better/more efficient. I think it would be a good conversation to have.
Post # 8
He’s probably grumpy because he doesn’t like doing the dishes and you’re sad because your hormones are hopped up 🙁
It was a stupid comment to make, but I’m sure everyone’s patience is low. I have no baby yet, but I’ve heard that this is when the relationship will be tested.
Hang in there! It sounds like you’re doing everything just fine!
Post # 9
Express some milk, take off for the length of his working day and let superman see how he gets on. I personally wouldn’t write down what you do all day though, that might only encourage him to think that you answer to him. He’s not your manager.
Post # 10
I would let him have babyduty one day. Ask him to also do the dishes/vacuum/make dinner. Not all three but one. Tell him you have a lot of errands to do. Or something along those lines. Let him see how rough it is!
Post # 11
Tomorrow is Saturday is he working? Maybe you should have a “me” day and leave him alone for a few hours with a list of things to do. Come home for feedings.
My mom went on strike a few times when I was growing up. She would either go shopping or sit on the back porch with her book, her feet up and read. That would go on for about a week, until we were completely desperate, no laundry, dinners, no rides to sports events etc. When she felt unappreciated again, she’d mention … remember last year when I went on strike.. gosh I’d hate to do that again, and we’d all start pulling our weight. He just doesn’t grasp what’s going on at home, plus he could have had a crap day.
Post # 12
@HisIrishPrincess: Haha I love your mom.
Post # 13
@HisIrishPrincess: I love your mom too! I am definitely going to be doing that any time I feel unappreciated in the future.