FI keeping secrets about family–thoughts?

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
451 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

My FI has told me very little about his father and that side of the family including half siblings. i get bits and pieces here and there but he rarely talks about them and what happened that has caused him to not speak to that side of the family for years at a time. About two years ago he did see them after the death of his half sister but has not seen or spoken to them for years before that or since, at least that I know of. He has also told me there is no reason for me to ever meet that side of his family. Frankly I think he is embarrassed by them but I know it is more than that. There has to be something big that has caused this estrangement. I have decided to accept that whatever it is, he does not want to talk about it. I occasionally will ask questions but I try not to pry or force any conversations. He is 43, we’ll adjusted, kind, honest, loving and gentle. I have seen him with his mom and that side of his family so I know he has good family relationships. That is enough for me. 

I don’t think your situation is strange. you know your guy. We all deserve to keep some things private. Maybe this is his thing. 

Post # 5
Member
559 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@MrsRevolutionize:  it may not be that he doesn’t want to tell you,he may not feel strong enough to do it. It sounds like he had a very negative,possibly abusive, relationship with his father and it is still effecting him. Boys are raised to be tough and to mot show emotion,especially not to his woman. He is supposed to be strong for you,you know. I think you should maybe tell him that you understand that he isn’t ready to talk about it but that you’ll be there to listen and you wont judge him if he ever wants to talk.

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