Post # 1
I have to vent to SOMEONE about this… hoping to find someone else with a similar problem & maybe even some advice about how to handle this.
FI has put on a fair bit of weight in the almost two years we’ve been together. I’d put it down to stopping a number of team sport activities he used to play. I’m trying to push him to go back (because he keeps complaining about how flat he’s feeling and I know and he knows it will make him feel better).
Anyway, whether because of this or not he has ripped at least FIVE pairs of pants in the year we’ve lived together. Two pairs of really nice suit pants, at least two pairs of jeans – maybe one or two more actually and now he’s torn his only remaining suit pants, a cheap pair that were just to tide him over but are now going to have to be replaced as well. The first suit pants I’d wager were because they were too small but the latest pair fit him fine.
The problem is we’re getting by on not much $$$ at the moment and he doesn’t have enough clothes as it is without having to replace his pants again and again and again! Right now he’s talking about attempting to sew his pants back together again to get us to next payday because we simply can’t afford a new pair right now. I feel bad because we’ve had to pay for some unexpected & expensive medical stuff for me this week – regardless of him telling me not to worry about it – but without that we could probably have got him some new pants.
But at the same time… I’m just really frustrated. I’m frustrated that he doesn’t seem to see it as a big problem and I’m frustrated in his lack of pride in his appearance. It’s like he just shrugs it off. He had two really great suits & not inexpensive suits that he had to chuck out because of this and he doesn’t really seem to see that as a problem?
Any advice? Anyone been in a similar boat? I just want to scream WHY IS THIS HAPPENING AND WHY ARE YOU NOT DOING ANYTHING TO STOP IT HAPPENING??!! (But I don’t think that would be very useful :P)
Post # 3
First, I would shop second hand for his more expensive clothes like suits. Second, how much physical activity do YOU do? I only ask becuase perhaps if he sees you doing it he will want to do it again too. Perhpas you guys could take walks every night, play a sport on the weekends, ride bike, rollerblade, etc. There are many physicaly activities you can do together. Also, opt for healthier meals that still taste good. That may help put his weight into check as well.
Post # 4
SO ripped his only decent pair of shorts yesterday. Luckily it’s the workweek so he won’t need them until I can pick up another pair, but yeah. I have no idea how he made a four inch rip in the seat of his pants!
I definitely echo the second hand shopping idea. That’s where I get most of my clothes, and nobody would ever be able to tell. I just save an insane amount of money!
Post # 5
@megz06: It’s a good point you make and I know I’m the cause of some of the trouble! Only problem is I have fibromyalgia and have had a lot of health issues which have made exercising and playing sport difficult (not to mention I’m a clutz and have only played organised sport once in my life! lol). I’d be doing more right now but I had an operation a few weeks ago and I can’t go to the gym for six weeks.
That said… a friend got us on to geocaching and it’s been AWESOME. It’s lead to plenty of long walks that we probably wouldn’t have gone out on otherwise and it doesn’t even feel like a lot of exercise but I know it’s better than nothing.
And healthy meals … well we’re actually not doing too bad in that sense. FH actually cooks most of the time! We’ve both cut out a lot of crap that we were eating so I guess htat’s progress.
I just don’t understand how it’s possible to rip one pair of pants after another and not try to figure out what’s causing it and stop! lol.
BUT my dear boy got my sewing kit and stitched up his work pants last night hwich was rather endearing to watch. I have to give kudos to him for doing it himself nad not asking for help!
Post # 6
Mine does this too. Not to do with weight gain – he’s a bean pole but the crotch of his jeans just keeps ripping in all his jeans whether they are cheap or higher end. He bought some apparently indistructable jeans and took them back this weekend because they ripped – luckily they were quite happy to replace them free
Post # 7
Is he just not wearing the right size? I don’t even know how that would happen unless they were way too tight.
Post # 8
@goingtotherooftopoflove: Lol well at least he sewed his own pants!
Post # 9
Sounds like he’s wearing the wrong size pants.
Post # 10
Umm only 5 a year? I got ya beat. Just shop at inexpensive stores and wait for sales and clearance racks and buy the next size up. And make him live on less work pants for the week if need be.
My husband comes home every day with a new giant black grease stain on his work pants. I’ve gotten to the point where I just let him live with the stain. Then he’ll rip them about once a month. I sew them which lasts about one more wear and then he has to live on less work pants for the month. Sorry hun. I’d buy more expensive ones so they don’t rip but he just stains them. Then a every 4 months or so i shop clearance racks at kohls or jcpenney and try to find another 15 dollar pair of pants that’ll get him through.
Post # 11
Get a sewing machine… and buy cheap clothes. My SO is athletic and has muscular legs/butt – much bigger than his waist. It’s next to impossible to find pants that don’t rip eventually because in order for them to fit in the waist, they are tight in the legs. I hem all my own stuff, and even though he would never ask – I just take his clothes and fix them. I’ve taken in waists on jeans that wouldn’t fit otherwise, and have become quite adept at patching rips in the crotch region. Buy a yard of thin canvas in a neutral color and put the patch on the inside. Once it’s done, all you can see is the one row of a zig-zag stich where the rip used to be and a thin outline of the patch. Not suitable for nice clothes, but it’s saved us a tonne of money for his casual clothes (jeans, kakhis, mending boxers haha). If you put a proper patch on – it should last at least a few more months, if not longer. Honestly, he doesn’t even notice. A sewing machine helps though – much more durable and even stitching – and saves you a lot of time.
My SO buys suits with reinforced crotches (apparently that is a thing) – they use more durable material/stitching and I think the lining is heavier in that area. It seems to work. He also just has baggier suit pants – doesn’t look quite as sharp but at least they last.
Post # 12
My FI has ripped a number of pants/shorts in his day. I don’t know what it is with him and clothes. He also wears his nice clothes to work (promises he wont get them dirty) comes home covered in paint. He doesn’t care about his clothes and doesn’t care if they get ruined. I have had to pry ripped pants out of his hands, because he claims that they are still good to wear. I have no advice, I’m sorry… I’m just all fired up now!
Post # 13
What is it about boys and clothes, seriously? Lol. Glad to hear I’m not the only one suffering through this.
FH wore jeans, a green t-shirt (there was no way to make this t-shirt not look casual) and (fortunately) an open shirt over it the first time he met my parents & they took us out for dinner. I felt so bad for not giving him a heads-up that we usually go out to really nice places but I honestly just thought that since it was meet-the-parents time he would dress appropriately. I’ve always offered a little more direction since then! Poor thing. His family are just more casual and mine are not and I just have to help him adjust to that 😛
Post # 14
My FI has this problem too! I thought it had something to do with the way he sits, because they always rip along the crotch. We don’t have much money for clothes so I am always sewing his pants back together! I’d never heard of ‘reinforced crotch’ pants before reading this thread but I think they might be a good investment!
Post # 15
@misswhereami: Thank you so much for the reinforced crotch pants suggestion! I’m sick of sewing, haha. My FI is also pretty muscular.
Post # 16
They make jeans with a gusseted crotch for men. Kind of like the little diamond patch in yoga pants- for a bigger range of motion. Maybe those would work and maybe that company also makes dressier pants.