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FI lost his grandmother

posted 3 months ago in Family
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    1.
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    35 posts
    Newbee
    yamina81    March 17, 2012   orlando,fl

    hello bee,

                    so with 39 days to go unit  our wedding we have been given the unfortunate news that my FI grandmother has past away i'm just so sad that my fiance is going thru this so close to such a wonderful celebration in our life. the news is so new to me but it hit me right away that i for sure want to honor his grandmother on our day. any suggestions?

     

    mina

     
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    Sugar bee
    linguo42    February 27, 2011   Vancouver, B.C.

    Well, you can wear or carry something of hers, put a small "In Loving Memory" bit of text about her in the program if you're having programs, or have a photo of her set up on a table with something written about her next to it...there are a lot of ways to remember someone special at a wedding.

    A friend of mine wore her grandmother's antique lace veil, and next to her guestbook she had a photo of her grandmother, a picture of the veil, and the story of how the veil had been handed down over the generations.

     
    3.
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    139 posts
    Blushing bee
    quishi    March 17, 2012   Guaynabo, Puerto Rico

    I'm so sorry for your loss. It's a delicate situation especially so close to the wedding date. My FI and I have been through several losses this past year and a half. We've been together for almost 10 yrs so I consider his family very much my own. In that short time he has lost 2 grandparents and a great aunt who took care of him every day when he was younger and his parents were working. We both got very emotional and still do sometimes. I mentioned to him about honoring them somehow. I also wanted to honor my grandma who is alive but won't be able to go to the wedding. She recently got diagnosed with alzheimers and has a lot of physical pain as well. And my grandfathers who passed away when I was younger. After searching for a few ideas, we settled on some luminaries we found on Etsy.com. (the papery nook) We decided to put 2, 1 for each family at the couple's table, front and center. Each will say:

    "For all the loved ones who couldn't be here but are sharing our happiness in spirit."

    (last name)(last name) Family

    That way we include everyone without the symbol being overwhelmingly sad. I've seen people do a memorial table, with photos of the people who passed. you could release something into the sky, like one of those chinese lanterns, to symbolize your thoughts and love sent up to her. You could dedicate a part of the ceremony or reception to her, or put it in the programs. I like the idea of wearing something of hers if you were somewhat close. I'll be wearing a piece of jewelry from my FI's grandmother on his mothers side, and something of his fathers side if I can find it. I would make a point of expressing your feelings to his family,before the wedding so they understand that you are thinking of her even though you are continuing with your wedding plans. Maybe they have an idea that would be more meaningful to the family. Also I'd make a point of going up to them the day of and saying something short, without getting too emotional, about how you wish she could be there today and how you're glad you could at least find a way of including her memory in the day.

    I know you're close to the day, but make sure you are there for your FI. He's probably having some mixed emotions and could use your love and support.

     

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