Post # 1
Hi Bee’s –
My FI just called me to let me know that he lost his job. He wasn’t technically “fired” because he was in a contract and they decieded to hire someone else. Still, it feels like he’s been fired. The really effed up part to me is they only gave him a DAYS notice. We are both shocked by this because he’s been there for 8 months and they have been making it seem like he was doing a good job.
He is emotionally distraught from the way he sounded on the phone. This is his second time in 2 years being let out of a contract. He works in an ad agency enviornment where turnover is an unfortunate norm.
We recently purchased a home, WELL under budget (thank God) so we won’t struggle to pay mortagage/bills….but we’re planning a wedding.
I really don’t know if we should just cancel the wedding and have a backyard reception or something. I don’t want the financial strain right now of paying bills and paying for a wedding. But at the same time I do not want to resent my FH because we cancelled the “wedding of my dreams”. My marriage is more important to me than a wedding, so I’d be willing to let it go, just don’t know realistically how’d I’d feel later on.
I don’t know what to do, but I know there’s going to be some hard days ahead…
Post # 3
I’m sorry!! That is rough, and I understand how you feel….maybe you do the backyard ceremony now, and a vow renewal later? Or hold off on the wedding until things are more certain?
Post # 4
@Meant2Bee: I am sorry for you guys. I wouldn’t cancel the wedding just yet. Maybe he’ll find work soon. Positive thoughts my dear:)
Post # 5
@Meant2Bee: I’m confused about how a contract can be broken exactly? I’m so sorry.
Post # 6
@Meant2Bee: I’m sorry for this situation!!! It’s so incredibly hard to deal with. I would suggest a low-key ceremony now and then something a bit bigger when the time is right. Sending lots of strength and positive vibes your way.
Post # 7
@Meant2Bee: You have PLENTY of time until your wedding. I wouldn’t cancel it just yet!
I hope your FI finds work soon!
Post # 8
I’m so sorry!
Give it a couple weeks to take the sting off and see what’s out there in the job market before you make any big decisions. Unemployment is there for a reason, collect it while he looks for a (better!) job.
Post # 9
@Meant2Bee: I’m so sorry. DH lost his job a month before our wedding, which was the second time in 2 years. I know how hard and stressful it can be. My advice is not to make any decisions about the wedding just yet. Take a few weeks and think things through, see what his job prospects look like, etc. Put planning on hold for a few weeks while you re-evaluate, don’t start cancelling vendors just yet.
Hope he finds a new position soon!
Post # 10
@Meant2Bee: he can still find work! Don’t cancel everything just yet. Just come up with a Plan B and. Plan C while he looks for work:)
Post # 11
I am so sorry that you are going through this right now. I know exactly how you are feeling. About a year ago my fiance (now husband) lost his job (also while we were wedding planning). It was very dificult for us but at the point we were at in wedding planning there was no way for us to cancel our wedding. I reexamined our wedding budget and somehow made it work. I agree with PP, you should take a step back and give yourself some time before you make any major decisions! I hope things begin to look up for you and your fiance soon!
Post # 12
Thanks for all the support Bee’s!
Post # 13
I’m sorry! I really feel you 🙁 My FH works in advertising as well and it’s cut throat and unstable at the best of times. On the plus side, turnover is high at all agencies, so if he’s good at what he does, he’ll be working on other projects in no time!
Don’t cancel anything yet, but also keep in mind that backyard weddings can be absolutely whimsical and chaming.
Post # 14
@Meant2Bee: FH and I both lost our jobs in March. Less than a month later I had a job making close to what I was before and he started a new job making a good bit more than he was making. Don’t make any big decisions yet… give it a little time and see what happens. Sometimes things can be blessings in disguise!
Post # 15
Contract work is really tough! I started as contract at my job – it’s horrible how they stack the contract in favor of the company, where they can let you go at will like that. I’m one of the lucky ones – got hired on permanently – but i’ve seen this happen to a lot of people :-(.
Post # 16
@love108: There is different kinds of contract work – I suspect her FI is the kind of contractor in which he is considered temporary with an open ended leave date. In that case, the employer typically reserves the right to terminate at will at any time. If an employee is represented by a temp firm (like Aerotek, etc) the company has to pay the temp firm a penalty for terminating before a minimum time frame, but the employee typcially receives none of that. It’s a terrible system. I did it for 4 months last year because I needed to hit the ground running with a job when we got to the San Fran area – there are a ton of contract science jobs here. Luckily, I was able to get a permanent position out of it, but a lot of people just go contract to contract….