Post # 1
We are 3 & a half months away and I am starting to seriously look at e-rings for my FI. I have asked him a couple times (just briefly) if he knows what kind of ring he might want. Silver, dark grey, etc. He first rolls his eyes, sighs loudly, says he doesnt care, and quickly changes the subject. I have asked him once or twice if we could go look at like, Macys, JCPenny, somewhere like that just to try on to see what he likes and so I can figure out the size.. (I probably won’t get it from there, but he can at least try them on easily) He sighs and says “UGH…” everytime.
Sometimes it’s brought up in conversation with our married couple friends and every single one of them (the guys AND the girls) say that they were excited to wear their ring. I know they may be exaggerating, but at least they weren’t dreading it.
I know my FI is 100% devoted to me and is not the type to try to act single in public and he’s not dreading the fact that we are getting married, but it really bothers me that he is getting so annoyed that he “has” to wear a ring. I have tried talking to him about it, but it hasn’t helped.
Has anyone else had this and how did they overcome it?
This topic was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by texaslemon.
Post # 2
texaslemon: I wonder if he’s not the type to want to wear jewelry?? I suppose most men don’t, really, though. But like he’s worried about it. Tell him my husband says it feels totally natural and he doesn’t even know he’s wearing it. It’s just a part of him now.
Post # 3
This would also totally bother me….just sayin…
A wedding band is not just a piece of jewelry. To ME, it is a significant statement. If I were you, I would tell him kindly how you feel and ask him if you are just misunderstanding the situation. It’s not like the ring is raised or a hassle to wear…it’s just a flat band and shouldn’t even be felt if sized correctly. When I tried on rings with my boyfriend, he was totally psyched about it.
Post # 4
Oops I meant wedding ring!
RedHeadKel: Yea, I think that is a part of it, but I have told him how important it is to me for him to wear one and how I would really appreciate him wearing it. So I have mentioned that I have heard how easily and fast guys get used to it, and personally my e-ring feels pretty natural even with diamonds all over it, but he still seems annoyed.
Post # 5
Some guys just don’t like rings. Try not to compare him to your friends’ husbands, because everyone is different. Maybe he’ll change his mind after he tries some on, but you should accept the possibility that he may just not be a ring guy.
My FI spent a whole 15 minutes choosing his ring and went with the simplest style he could find. He has zero interest in colors or materials, and he zoned out of any conversation I had with him about it. I would say that you should drop the band talk if he’s so disinterested and just find a time to go to the jewelry store together. He may just want to get in, make a decision, get out, and not think about it any further.
Post # 6
texaslemon: Your best bet would be to invest in a plain band and see if he can start wearing it a couple hours a day just to get used to it. Does he work with his hands? That could be why he is hesitant.
Post # 7
- Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas
texaslemon: My husband was not excited to wear the ring. Like PP, he went to the store with me when I dragged him, chose the first gold band he tried on, and was dont with it. I could tell for the first few days he was really annoyed by the feel of it on his finger, but now he loves it! He digs the symbolism, and the feel doesn’t bother him anymore.
All will be well!
Post # 8
My DH was originally reluctant to wear his. Before the wedding he told me that he probably wouldn’t want to wear it all the time and would take it off when he was at work (lots of physical labor, so understandable) but I don’t think he’s taken it off more than twice since the wedding over a year ago. I think after the ceremony he understood the symbolic meaning of it. Also, for like a week after the wedding I told him constantly how much I liked seeing him wear it and how it was sexy to see that obvious token that he was “MY” man. Who knows after the wedding, you might never have to worry about it. I feel for you with the stubbornness -guys can be so pig-headed sometimes!
Post # 9
Some men just aren’t the type to wear jewelery, even big, important pieces like a wedding band. I know for a fact that my dad never wore his, ever. Doesn’t mean he wasn’t married and didn’t ask like a married guy. :S
Post # 10
Bridey77: NowMrsS: He has an office job, so no excuse for not wearing it at work lol. BUT I understand his hesitation from never wearing jewelry before.
whoa_its_ash: NowMrsS: I have told him how excited and even turned on I will be to see him in it because of how it will “tie” us together and how he will be “mine”, which he likes me thinking, but I don’t think he sees the band as having anything to do with that lol.
MrsRevolutionize: My dad NEVER wore a ring ever, maybe thats another reason I want him to wear one because it always bugged me. I always thought it was disrespectful of sorts towards my mom that he didn’t wear one. But that was just my personal view, I know many guys don’t.
Post # 11
Most men aren’t into jewelry. I wouldn’t look into it. As long as he’s not downgrading it whats the problem.
Post # 12
texaslemon: I don’t get this mentality some women have of “I told him it’s important to me so now he must do it”. That is controlling behaviour 101. He clearly feels differently about wearing a ring so why are his wants automatically pushed aside?
Post # 13
- Wedding: Royal Park Hotel
texaslemon: My husband was the exact same way righ up until we went shopping for his ring a month before. He kept changing the subject, declare over and over again that he’s not a “jewelery person” and just overall put off looking for one.
He just needed to try some on. We went out a month before the wedding and luckily we were in a tiny downtown area that happened to have 6 jewelry shops in a 2 block area and we tried on all kinds. He found one he liked and now he LOVES his ring. He talks about it all the time and says he’s happy he found one. He totally changed his tune.
Get him to try a bunch on
Post # 14
texaslemon: This is the same with me. FI does NOT want to wear a ring at all. I think he feels it’s too feminine to wear jewelry and it drives me crazy. I want him to wear a ring for the symbolic reason and feel proud to wear it. But, that’s probably not going to happen.
We did come to a compromise, we are both getting wood wedding bands. He likes the idea of a wooden band, and most important it can easily be taken off if he breaks his finger or something (he’s constantly in the work shop building things so him breaking a finger is a possibility).
I still don’t think he’ll wear it all the time, but I like that he found something ‘manly’ that he likes.
Post # 15
texaslemon: No advice for you but just wanted to say that would bother the shit out of me too. Guys can be so effen dramatic sometimes. You’re getting married and you need to pick a ring you’d like to wear!!! Even if you don’t care about it yourself grow up and humour your soon-to-be wife since it matters to her!!!