FI NOT happy about me getting ring

posted 3 years ago in Rings
  • poll: Should I keep the ring?
    Keep the ring : (44 votes)
    43 %
    Return the ring. Let him surprise you : (17 votes)
    17 %
    Keep the ring, but have him pay for appraisal/engraving : (35 votes)
    34 %
    Other : (6 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1648 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2000

    I picked out my own wedding band and FI didn’t care at all; IMO the guy’s job is done after he gets the engagement ring 🙂

    Post # 4
    Member
    3978 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @memmielee:  I picked my e-ring and my wedding band, but FI paid for both (the budget was decided on together). He will be picking out his wedding band and I will be paying for that.

    Post # 5
    Member
    104 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    i agree with @Diamondgurl:  i’ve aways thought after he picked the e-ring then you get the pick the band. Or at least go together to pick it.

    Post # 6
    Member
    917 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    We picked out our wedding bands when I chose my engagement ring. However, we both wanted plain, matching bands, so we chose the ones that matched my ring. What the hell kind of sterling silver ring is over 1k? My FI is getting a platinum band (from David Yurman, I might add) for $1200.

    I am happier with small, daily surprises over huge ones, too. I love when he unexpectedly brings flowers… but I’d be pissed if he’d purchased my wedding set without my input. I like to be in on decisions of that size. Hopefully you can talk him down. I absolutely love your reasoning for choosing a vintage wedding band, by the way. It’s so romantic! Best of luck!

    Post # 7
    Member
    3112 posts
    Sugar bee

    @memmielee:  It’s going to sit on your finger forever and ever, so you should be able to pick it!  I think you’re in the right, and he should let you pick what makes you most happy.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2319 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I picked for and paid for both my fiance’s and my wedding band. He has more bills than I do, and I wanted to do this for him/us, so he didn’t have to worry about paying for my wedding band on top of everything else. 

    @OP – I think you and I are similar. We seem to view things similarly, and if we have our minds set on something – we want to do it.

    IMO, it shouldn’t be about who paid for what, it should be that both people (in the end) are happy.

     

     

     

    Post # 10
    Member
    1248 posts
    Bumble bee

    I noticed most people said keep the ring. I think you should consider that him having no say in the wedding ring maybe taken as an insult. I am not saying you have to get rid of ring. Talk to him and see what is the issue behind it. You can’t tell him what to do. Talk with him please.  It seems his feelings are hurt. Maybe best to choose together. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    5483 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @memmielee:  I think you should both pick what you like for your selves. And maybe … add the costs of both wedding bands together and split it? That’s what my FI and I did.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2319 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @memmielee:  

    Talking to him sounds like a good idea 🙂 I hope you guys can figure out what to do with the second ring ♥

    Post # 13
    Member
    301 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    This is a tricky one.  It’s important to him to buy your wedding band; it’s important to you to have a band that you love, and you’ve found one that you love.  I tend to operate like you, but I hope that you and your FI can have a productive discussion and come to a compromise.  If you can afford it, keep the ring that you like and wear it as a RHR or as part of a stack with your e-ring and wedding band if you two decide to pursue another option for your wedding band.

    Post # 14
    Member
    4698 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I thought everyone was supposed to pick out their own wedding rings… this is news to me.

    Post # 15
    Member
    577 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I think the wedding rings should be a joint decision and a purchase you make together. My husband and I wanted matching rings and it took awhile for us to find something we both liked. If we hadn’t gone matching, we would have each picked our own, but still made the decision together– you don’t want to wear a ring that your spouse thinks is hideous, or out of budget. If he wants to surprise you, maybe you can let him pick out the engraving and surprise you with that. At the most, maybe I would give him 2 or 3 options for the wedding band and let him pick, but honestly I think that’s weird. I don’t know of anyone who didn’t pick out their own wedding ring.

    Post # 16
    Member
    10384 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I think you guys should have come to a mutual decision about the purchase before moving forward.

    I think any way a couple wants to do it is great – there is no “right way”, so long as you are in agreement.

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