Post # 1
- Wedding: August 2014 - Outdoor/indoor
My FI is not remotely interested in helping to plan our wedding. He’s made comments like “just tell me the date and I’m there” Or given simple answers such as he’ll help with invites if I ask him to. I feel frustrated than he seems so disinterested in planning our wedding day. Now, don’t get me wrong. This is going to be a simple and inexpensive event, but it can still be fun and just as lovely. Anyone else experience this from your other halves? How did you deal with this. I’ve tried to express that it means something to me to be able to do this together.
Post # 2
Honestly, a lot of guys feel this way. It’s just not their thing. I remember being frustrated with hubby too during planning. But you know what? He appreciated how beautiful everything was in the end. Give him a pass and plan with your ladies. Most dudes don’t get the wedding thing. On the flip side I have a friend who’s guy had an opinion on everything. It was so annoying because His ideas were lame. Her wedding was the ugliest worst wedding I ever attended. It could be worse! Lol
Post # 3
Yeah, I’m going to go with the whole ‘most men don’t care at all’ thing. I did the “honey what do you think of these two, do you prefer one over the other?” and that was fine. He’s never going to care about stationary and flowers like you do.
The only thing my husband cared about was the food.
Post # 4
Yup most of them are this way. it doesn’t mean they don’t want to get married, they just don’t care much for planning events or details. I guarantee that there will be SOMETHING he’s interested in. What he wears, the food, music. Something you can have him champion and research.
Post # 5
FeliciaRene: Fire him! No seriously, I was a little passive aggressive and purposefully started throwing out “serious” ideas and started “planning” for things that were WAAAAY out of our price range. That got his attention pretty quickly. That and “Honey Do” lists. Guys like lists.
Post # 6
FeliciaRene: He’s sounds like a normal guy to me
Post # 7
Mine is like that too, but I find it kinda cute that he is totally playing the “I want to be surprised” so that my feelings arent hurt because i think he doesnt care.
And I get it. Think about it this way… If he bought parts to a gun or a motor to build and was very excited; looking through catalogs for parts and manuals for instructions; and wanted me to be excited about it too…I’d be like “go for it honey, I’ll be upstairs watching Say Yes to the Dress”. Its just not what winds my clock and it doesn’t mean I don’t love him or don’t care, I’m just not as enthusiastic as he is.
Post # 8
He doesn’t care about flowers, and fancy paper for invites, and lighting etc., and that’s ok. He just cares about getting to marry you. It’s pretty normal for guys. If you really need him to get excited about something, find something he might enjoy handling, like the booze. DH loved being in charge of booze.
Post # 9
My FI wasn’t interested until we decided on what to do for our wedding that was actually something he was interested in. Now he’s actually excited about it.
Basically he had an idea of what he thought I wanted for a wedding and he wasn’t interested in that. Now that he knows what I actually want and that it’s something he wants too, he’s all about helping plan
Post # 10
I think it pretty normal for guys to seem not fussed – honestly it could be worse – my FI likes helping me plan he been great with invites colours etc but he also has strange ideas like he decided to throw it out there how “fun” it would be to play a football (english) style game whilst we were having dinner! Table V Table!!! Honestly I nearly had heartfailure – at that point i had to reign him in and explain it was a wedding not a kids party lol.
Post # 11
Consider yourself lucky. You will probably have very strong ideas about what you want to do, and you don’t have to worry about whether what you want clashes with what he wants.
Years ago, my brother broke off an engagement with a woman because during the wedding planning he discovered she was “set in her ways” and would not listen to his ideas about the wedding. I remember being shocked at the time because I thought it was normal for the bride to get her way at this time.
You have given him the opportunity to be involved, and he is not interested. Now do what you want.
Post # 12
FeliciaRene: Forgive the redundance, but men just aren’t interested in planning weddings. My DH’s only input was what kind of liquor to serve. He didn’t see the venue until the actual reception. A marriage involves equal dedication from 2 people but let’s face it, the wedding is mostly about the bride 🙂
Post # 13
FeliciaRene: congratulations! It’s a boy! In all seriousness, it’s normal. My DH was only interested in a handful of things (food, final colors) and that was ok because of my personality type. If you want input from him, ask him to be the decision maker when you can’t choose or just ask him to go along to the final florist appt. Things like that. DH got very vocal at the florist. Surprise! He cared about the flowers.
Post # 14
I have happily planned it all. My FI wasn’t interested. He just wants to be married. I really, really don’t mind. As long as he’s up front about it, most blokey guys are not that into it. Enjoy the planning. Do it with your mum or some girlfriends. I’m doing most of it with MOH
Post # 15
I’m going to disagree with just about everyone. If you aren’t happy planning on your own (I wouldn’t be) he needs to step up. I didnt know anything about planning a wedding before we got engaged, but it’s not hard to learn. Men are perfectly capable of that. I also want the wedding to reflect both of us, not just my “vision” so I’ve been happy to compromise when we disagree.