Post # 1
ok.. we are going to be married outside, in a very small wedding, family only. the thing is that he doesn’t want to wear a suit…at all… he wants to wear a white linen shirt (not tucked in) and white pants. if we were getting married barefoot on a beach i would completely go for this. but he is not sounding willing to compromise. he hasn’t been to a lot of weddings, but he is standing pretty firm. any ideas on ohter options that i can bring up to him?
Post # 3
how formal is the wedding? what about a compromise with khakis? my fi was also very opinionated on his outfit, i figured i’d let him have it. sure, it wasn’t my first choice, but it makes him happy and that’s what i really want on my wedding day.
Post # 4
Do you know why he wants to wear this? Is it relevant to his experience in any way?
Post # 5
I agree with artbee, a compromise with khakis would be nice. But it is his day too so it’s only fair for him to be comfortable in whatever he wears. Did he say why he doesn’t want to wear a suit?
Post # 6
What does he wear on a regular basis? Personally, I would not recommend white pants unless you are on a beach somewhere but if that is his style then maybe you could work with it. However, if he doe not own white pants, you could point out the see through factor and suggest he wear khakis to avoid VPL (boys do not think of these things). How formal were you thinking for the wedding? There are other non suit options, he could do jacket, no tie. Or maybe even a shirt and tie, no jacket. Go with him to try on some options and see what you both like, ultimately he didn’t tell you what to wear so I feel like you need to give him some freedom on this but I have a feeling he may change his mind once he sees his options or realizes how formal your dress is (assuming it is formal).
Post # 7
Why dont you show him some pictures and make him imagine how it would look.
Post # 8
yes show him pictures of ‘destination wedding’ suits…may suit his style
remind him that he can take off the jacket after the ceremony to relax more
Post # 9
i haven’t bought my dress yet…. but i am leaning towards more formal. he has seen pictures of the one i do want. i agree that he should get a lot of leeway because i do get to pick out my dress. this is our second engagement. when were engaged 8 years ago the plan was to get married on the beach…and i’m afraid he still has it stuck in his head. even though i offered to go to a beach if thats what he really wanted. (the nearsest is about 3 hours away and his grandparents probably couldn’t make that drive – his grandma can’t stay in a car that long) he does know how formal my dress is …and still wants to go the casual route. so i’m putting off making a final choice on dress ( i still have lots of time) becasue if he won’t budge i don’t want to be in this flowing formal gown and him be so informal ( also i’m definately not wearing white (it’s a bad color for me…probably going for ivory it doesn’t wash me out so bad)
Post # 10
I know this is kind of an old post, but I’m dealing with something very similar and wanted to chime in and make sure I’m not losing my mind
I have a almost formal wedding dress., that I LOVE. We are having an outdoor afternoon wedding in my backyard, with close friends and family. Ideally, a casual personal feeling. My BM’s are wearing mismatched semi-casual type dresses in the wedding colors. I’ve tossed the idea around of a linen-look suit for the guys / or just for the groom. However, I wasn’t dead set on suit. and Tuxes were totally out.
Yesterday we went shopping for the guys. We picked out beige dress pants for all the guys, and light green shirts with cranberry ties for the guys.. (wedding colors) .. and the groom is wearing a cranberry shirt with light green tie (same tie as the guys, just the alternate color). So Groom will stand out. He’s not wearing a suit. I’m totally ok with all of this. My family however, is apparently not. My dad is in uproars and so is my mom. My dad bought a suit, and is giving me away. My parents have basically told me how disrespectful my Fiance is being of me by not wearing a suit, and say that since I’m wearing a formal dress, how they think there’s no point to even have a photographer because it’s all going to look bad to them.
I’m at a total loss right now. It’s my wedding day (and my FI’s) and I think that he and I have the final say.. no matter what.
any thoughts? Tell me I’ve lost my mind, or not?
Post # 11
@dixieonny: I like suits, but I’m not marrying your FI! Tell your family that you have both discussed it and tell them why you guys are going that route. Families are difficult. I know with mine, they’re always worried that I haven’t thought things out enough. If you can lay out your reasons why this works for you guys and let them see your thinking process, they’ll be more likely to come around. I hope things work out for you!