Post # 1
Long story short I’ve been engaged for a little over a year. I love my Fiance and he tells me he wants to marry me that nothing has changed but everytime we set a date we end up pushing it back another year.
So our original date was Oct of this year. Then we pushed it back to Oct of 2012. Well we couldn’t find a venue and when we finally did they don’t hold Oct weddings at all. So we changed our date to Sept 2012. Now Fiance wants to wait again. He says the longer we wait the more money we can save.
Well this is great in theory but honestly we have 4 kids between the 2 of us. So tax money always goes to the kids or bills or home improvement stuff.
I guess I’m just frustrated. I mean I’m starting to feel like we aren’t even engaged anymore. Like I’m wearing a class ring instead of an engagement ring. I’m all for having a long engagement. I honestly was happy to have a 2 year engagement because it gives us time to plan and save and budget and let me do all my DIY without feeling overwhelmed. But to keep pushing the date back is starting to get old. Do I even set another date now, even if we wait another year I feel like he’s just going to tell me again “Well lets wait another year”.
I just had to vent. I try to tell him how I feel and we both feel like the other doesn’t get what the other is trying to say. I feel like my family and friends and complete strangers are going to be like “Yeah he just is giving you a line to keep you around”.
Post # 3
Is there any way you could pare down your wedding ideas so you can get married for very little money? After all, it’s nice to have a wedding but in the end it’s about the marriage.
Post # 4
Is having a wedding super important to you? My fiance and I are eloping with our son there to save money, so we get our wedding and honeymoon in one. However, travelling with 4 children can be expensive. I’m certain that Iowa must have some nice place to elope at!
Post # 5
Honestly the wedding I’m planning is going to be pretty inexpensive. My mom and I are both crafty so we are doing TONS of DIY things which is going to save us money. The ceremony and reception are in the same place (ceremony outside and reception inside) which saves money. Flowers are inexpensive. My uncle and cousin are doing our photos for free other than us paying for the prints.
I budgeted around $10,000 for our wedding but I think we will come well under that. I’m pretty thrifty when I want to be. And Hobby Lobby is my best friend so I’m always looking for things to use and waiting for it to come up on sale.
In fact our invitations are going to be printed on the plain side of a paper sack (budget and eco friendly).
Just trying to get him to put down deposit on our venue is like pulling teeth and so now the only date available for a fall wedding like we wanted is booked. So either way it looks like the wedding is being pushed back another year. And this venue books fast. Almost all of 2012 is booked and there are no fall dates available at all.
I’m trying to tell him that if we deposit the venue, the rest of the stuff we don’t reallly have to worry about payment until a few months before the wedding which gives us next years taxes to save for that.
He says “well I don’t know what things cost or anything about weddings” I tell him “I don’t either that’s why you research and ask questions”. UGH I’m just frustrated.
Post # 6
Hvae you considered that maybe he’s not ready yet, which is why he’s pushing it back? I hate to be pessimistic, but maybe he’s a little nervous or getting cold feet. What I would do is say “you know what, let’s just cancel it for right now and come back to it later” and see what he would say. If he says “great! now whats for dinner?” then you know what he would prefer, but if he says “no i dont want to do that…” then he’s serious, he just is very worried about the wedding (emotionally and financially)
Post # 7
It is time for you to do some serious thinking about what you really want. Do you really want a wedding or do you just want to be married? Ask your Fiance the same question. If you really want to be married then you don’t really need to save for a big deal party. You can get married sooner and you can have an inexpensive yet memorable wedding. If the big event wedding is what is important to both of you then you need to sit down and make a budget (maybe even start a savings account) for the wedding and plan out how long it will take you to save x amount of dollars. Pick a date from there and insist that he sticks to it. Tell him if he wants to push that date back or finds reasons not to set aside the $ each month that you two have budgeted for the wedding you will see that as him not wanting to marry you. BTW, you may have to get yourself ready. Your family and friends may very well be right.