Post # 1
It seems we have reached an impasse.
Initially the deal was that if I wore a tea length dress I’d wear heels, but if it were floor length I’d wear flats. Now it’s changed and he really wants me to wear heels.
Only problem is I haven’t worn heels in years. I tried wandering around the house in them and almost broke my ankle, not to mention the pain of standing on your tiptoes all day! I definitely couldn’t dance in them. So I offered a compromise – I’d wear heels to the ceremony and photos, but change to flats for dancing. Unfortunately that won’t work with dress length. But he really, REALLY wants it.
TL:DR – Fi really, REALLY wants me to wear high heels, I’m really bad with them, but it’s surprisingly important to him.
Now I’m thinking maybe I can train myself to wear heels? In two years maybe they’ll even be comfortable? Is it worth breaking my ankle a few times to see him really happy on the day? Ideas?
Post # 3
what kind of heels are we talking about here? I can’t see how 3-4 inch heels can cause you to break anything unless you’re drunk, on a very slippery surface.
Get heels with a platform if anything. that way you get the height and the comfort.
Post # 4
@ZebraPrintMe: I think your FI is being ridiculous. One, you should be comfortable, and the last thing you’ll want on your wedding day is to be worrying about your feet hurting or stumbling around in heels you’re not used to wearing. Two, no one wlll see what shoes you have on in a floor length dress anyway. Have you asked your FI why he cares so much??
Post # 5
Why is he dictating your footwear? I think it’s a little odd that he wants to choose the style of shoe you wear. Is he normally controlling with your appearance?
Post # 6
I have the same issue, except he wants me to wear flats and i want to wear heels. Hes 6’3″ and im 5’2″. Now you know the reason i want to wear heels and hes even taller when he wears dress shoes, at least with the heals they would give me some sort of height but he wants me to wear flats because he thinks its cute that im so short.
Post # 7
Would he be OK with wedges? Those are often more comfortable since they have a more secure base. Also make sure you stock up on heel pads and ball-of-foot pads…those will help add some cushion to the shoe!
That’s really weird that he is so insistent about you wearing heels….especially when they are uncomfortable for you! I assume you’ve told him that right?
Post # 8
strange that he is making your wear heels.
i cannot wear very high heels. 1-3 inches are all i can tolorate. i do have very comfortable heels that i can walk around in all day.
what about if you wore a very low heel. you have plenty of time to practice walking in them.
Post # 9
@MrsTVLover: No, not at all. He tells me that I can wear whatever dress I want, even if I push him for an opinion he just doesn’t have any preference. It’s just a thing about shoes he has. I think he wants me to be taller, maybe for photos?
Post # 10
Your footwear is your choice. If he has a “thing” about heels, ask the photographer to take some shots of you wearing heels with the wedding dress, but the rest of the day wear your choice of footwear.
Post # 11
Try to find some wedges, there are cute comfortable ones out there. He probably just doesn’t want to look like a giant in your pictures. 🙂 My husband said I could wear whatever I wanted as long as I wasn’t taller than him (and he wasn’t crazy about being the same height). Which meant 3 1/2″ or less heels. I went with flats.
Post # 12
@Audrey2_sings: Nope, he says wedges are cheating. I’ve told him that they hurt but he’s just very set in his image. I can’t really blame him; I’ve got the image in my head of him wearing a top hat and I’m pushing for that, so I can’t really see much difference. I’m not really bothered that he wants me to wear heels, I just don’t know how to work around it…
Post # 13
I don’t think your FI really gets a say, but if you want to compromise why don’t you get some low 2 inch heels for the ceremony then switch to flats for the reception?
I planned to wear my 2.5 inch heels all night but I barely made it through the ceremony it was so uncomfortable!
Just let your seamstress know if you plan to switch shoes so she can hem it appropriately.
Post # 14
@Astra: I considered this, but if I get a dress hemmed for heels, then when I swap for flats won’t it be too long?
Post # 15
@ZebraPrintMe: Sorry not to be clear – I meant just take photos of your feet/legs/heels whatever it is he wants – but not to actually wear the heels. Just pose with them. Not sure if that would satisfy him, but it’s a thought…
For what it is worth, I plan to wear Danskos, white patent with about a two inch heel. Would he consider those “cheating”?
Post # 16
You’d probably be sitting and/or lifting up the hem of your dress to expose your photo op heels, so it shouldn’t look too strange if you have the dress hemmed for your flats.