Post # 1
Going anon for this. Hoping you guys can lead me in the right direction.
It was 1 in the morning and I was getting ready for bed. I was also feeling very frisky, so II went into the living room where my FI was flipping through the channels. We don’t have many, maybe 3 or 4 channels, half of which are in French, a language which he doesn’t understand. When I came into the livingroom he was watching some football game on one of the French channels, and the quality of the picture was just terrible, because sometimes our antenna acts up. I sat beside him and whispered flirty things in his ear, hinting …you know. Without going into too much detail, I tried to do things to get him going. But he seemed very distracted by what was on TV. Then I plain out asked him to take me to the bedroom. He said, and I quote ‘I would rather watch TV right now.’….
I didn’t understand. Was he for real?
I said to him that refusing sex to your woman because you would much rather watch TV, is not nice and that it made me upset. His reply, ‘ok’….
I went to bed by myself, sad, disappointed, dissatisfied, and angry.
Then I caught myself lying there and doubting myself, thinking that perhaps I don’t turn him on. But, without trying to sound full of myself, I consider myself to be an attractive, fit, young woman, who has a healthy sex drive. So I refuse to put myself down because of his comment.
what the hell should I do now? Act as if nothing happened? His comment really hurt me. I left home early today to go to work so we really never got a chance to discuss it, but should this even be discussed? Or ignored?
What do you think?
Post # 3
Does this happen often or just this one time. If it were a one time thing then I think you are blowing this out of proprtion. if it happens regularly then i think you should talk to him.
Post # 4
How long have you been together? My husband and I sometimes aren’t on the same schedule for wanting to have sex. It’s just what happens, especially if you’ve been together for a long time. He may feel comfortable enough with you that he can be honest, which is a good thing!
Post # 5
OP there are days where I am a raging beast and I want sex NOW NOW NOW and DH is like “Eh, I’m tired, playing PS3 or watching TV etc” and then there are days where he grabs me up and tries to unbutton my pants and I’m like “Eh, I’d rather paint my nails, read a book, eat a sandwhich etc”. It happens. Overall we are very sexually compatible and have a great sex life, but there are some days where one or the other just isn’t really feeling it, it is totally normal.
Unless he makes a habit out of this, or is constantly refusing your advances, I wouldn’t worry too much. Please DO NOT doubt yourself, I am sure you are one heck of a woman!
The only thing that WOULD bother me in your scenerio is his response, after you told him he hurt you…”ok” is not a sufficient answer. He should have given you more of an explanation.
Post # 6
together for 4 years, living together since 2 months ago.
Post # 7
@MrsRedPumps: yup, it is that ‘ok’ comment that really stuck with me.
Post # 8
Demanding sex from someone who doesn’t want it and then trying to emotional blackmail them isn’t very nice either.
Sometimes people just don’t want to have sex for what ever reason. No means no even when it is a male saying it.
Post # 10
I don’t see a problem with it. Sometimes, people just aren’t in the mood and it has nothing to do with you. You shouldn’t be doubting yourself or making him feel bad for not wanting it at that time.
I don’t think it warrants further discussion.
No means no, and it shouldn’t make you upset. If it’s an ongoing problem, then sure it may warrant a discussion but every now and then if he’d rather do something else there’s nothign wrong with that.
Post # 11
@peachacid: + @MrsRedPumps: + 1 or should that now be + 2 hehe
Post # 13
I agree with PPs. As long as this doesn’t happen all the time, I personally don’t think there’s a problem. I understand you may have felt ready, but you also have to be considerate of his feelings and desires. I’m sure he is still just as attracted to you, but he was busy!
Post # 14
@anonym1: Just tell him that you were upset. But also know that he won’t always want to have sex when you do.
Post # 15
@anonym1: lesson #1: sex will never, EVER take priority over football lol. I learned this early on. During football season I may as well be a nun because that’s what I get… NONE!
Post # 16
@Aquaria: hahahs fi will dvr ot pause a game & then come back to it afterwards.
I know people are saying its no biggie but I’d be pretty pissed off. You’re not in the mood fine but don’t dismiss the fact that I’m upset. I would talk to him about it, wish I had more advice but haven’t been in the situation.