FI said not to worry about price…I'm stressed!!!

posted 3 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
2062 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Luckily, I avoided this situation. However, I would have been the same way.

I don’t really have any advice other than to relax and trust him if you do not participate in the finances. I have to participate in the finances in order to avoid this stress, however. If this is the case for you, you may want to open up a broader discussion about financial involvement.

Post # 4
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

We had a similar situation. FI told me whatever I wanted but knew I would never want a ring over $2K it would be a waste of money for me. I fell head over heels for a ring that was on sale for $1,100 so it was perfect. My dad owns a company and our family has always had money but we didn’t spend it on material things, more experiences like vacations a few times a year so I more value experiences than say a ring. I would forever feel guilty looking at my ring if it cost a lot. I would say keep looking for rings but if none compare and he’s fine with it and you don’t feel guilty then go for it! 

Post # 6
1248 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@MissBlessedOne:  I am very similar to you – I always worry about finances even when we are in a comfortable phase income/debt wise etc. Comes from growing up with a frugal mother and my parents not on big incomes etc. I am however ok with spending money on the big ticket items that are important to me – travel, FI etc. I’m not really into rings so didnt have an engagement ring. I don’t really put much value in rings so in my mind I could just not justify the expense. If however you do really like jewellery and would really value the ring then go for it! (if it wouldn’t send FI broke of course. He seems fine with the cost though so I am assuming that would not be the case!) it’s something you will wear for the rest of your life so get what you love, if you can afford it. if you think you would be just as happy with a smaller ring and not have the stress of the cost then do that instead 🙂

Post # 8
540 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 1993

If you love them let him buy them for you.  You are right you will have them for the rest of your life.  

Post # 9
393 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

whatever your fiance is comfortable with.. u should be too! i was glad at my budget!

Post # 10
9526 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

If you two, as a couple, can afford the rings, and you love them, then I say keep them. If you’re going to spend more on something it should be something that you will get a lot of use out of. That being said. If you truly don’t want to spend that much on your rings, tell you fiance. To me, your post sounds more like you’re not used to spending money, so it makes you a little uncomfortable, but you really want the rings. In this case, keep the rings. If you just really don’t want to spnd that much because you would rather spend it on somehing else or because you wouldn’t want to be responsible for such expensive jewelry on a daily basis or whatever – tell your guy you aren’t comfortable with it and would prefer a different set.

Post # 12
8677 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I was in a similar situation as you. I grew up with one parent working and we were very poor. If it hadn’t been for my gracious grandmother giving us my childhood home, we would have had nowhere to live.


When it came time for me to make a ring I liked (Long story, my husband despised the ring he proposed with), I asked for a budget and he gave me the same as your fiance.


It was difficult for me to rationalize. Why put so much money into a ring when there are other things to put money into?


In the end, I told myself that he loved me and wanted to provide me with nice things because we could afford it. I’m not poor anymore (I’m certianly not rich, either) but we can afford a beautiful set of rings and food.

ETA: My husband asks me nearly every day if I love my rings. I think it gives him a real boost that he was able to give me something that I adore. It works out for the both of you at the end.

Post # 13
334 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

it sounds like you have a wonderful FI who loves you very much and wants to make you happy. If you love the rings, and he can afford them without going into debt (which apparently he can, since he is paying cash for them), then I would accept them and be happy and comfortable with them (and him!) for the rest of your life. 

Post # 14
11469 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

@MissBlessedOne:  I am sure your FI appreciates your concern and respect for a budget. Considering you seemed to find the perfect ring for you and he paid cash I would say it was well within his affordable means so sit back and enjoy your new beauty. Let him buy this for you, especially as he seems more than comfortable with the purchase.

FWIW my rings cost the amount of a car so please don’t fret, you did very well for pricing and I’m sure got a gorgeous ring. It could be worse! 😉

Post # 16
5445 posts
Bee Keeper

You’ve gotten good advice. If it’s affordable for you as a couple without eating away your savings, I would let him get you what you love. If it will cause hardship, then do not spend it. 

But I did want to add, $4400 for 1+ carat diamond is not right, unless it’s poor quality. Since you’re just starting out looking, I don’t want to see you get taken advantage of. If that’s what they’re charging, it’s probably not certified, or maybe EGL certed or even clarity enhanced. Beware of that price. And stick with independent jewelers rather than mall stores–you will get much more for your money typically. 

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