Post # 1
Will bring a gift or anything! He said he doubts it. And I can see this happening for sure. Its like freeloading and they will prob get drunk at the wedding too! I dont know one person who comes to a wedding without bringing at least a card!!! I am NOT trying to be selfish but rather make a point to him. All my friends and family asked if we wanted checks/cash since we have been together for 8 yrs this Sept! I said yes please:) They know we have everything we need and are pretty much set( Thank you tax return!) But for him to say that is just bothering me. We had an hr talk on our drive to see his friend and gparents Saturday. ALOT came out as far as what he thinks about gifts,rehearsal dinners and why do we need to have a rehearsal then dinner after. I said because we need to rehearse and alot of the guests will be from Out of Town and I want people to meet and have a nice dinner. I am not gonna call it a Rehearsal Dinner but rather a meet and greet dinner:) Everyone will have to eat that night so why not go out!! Then we are having our photogs take pics that night anyways so I want something nice to wear and he still thought it was stupid to do. “everyone does not need to come!” DUH!!!!! I know this. And I need to stop doing things and being so “by the books”. I am sorry that I want to do things right and be traditional a bit. I am not going to have my friends fend for themselves in a town they dont know. My Maid/Matron of Honor,her Boyfriend or Best Friend and son then my Girlfriend from CA too. I guess he can deal with his friends. Oh and my brother and family,my dad,his wife. I just want everyone to meet before the wedding!!
Am I asking for too much?? OH and the Honeymoon… another bad subject. We dont need one he says. Dumb!!!!
Post # 3
The rehersal dinner is often the first time many of the bride and groom’s families actually meet before the ceremony. Also, it’s important that any in the wedding party know what to expect, when to arrive and the layout of the church or place the ceremony will be hled, etc. Also, though I know your Fi probably doens’t want to hear it, it’s not only about what you two want – you are both facing expectations of older relatives – had he qualms about this, he should have set up a trip to Vegas.
As for free loading friends, there’s really no way around it. If people choose to attend and be there for jsut the party, then you just ahv to do your best to be gracious. One thing I leanred that some couples do (frat couples who have a lot of ‘brothers’ show up for free drinks) is a Honeymoon Shot Fund, where the Best Man or other male than the groom, go saying they will take a shot with you for a donation to the Honeymonn fund – one couple got several hundred dollars of ‘donations’ this way. It might be sneaky, but it got them to contribute to the couples’ happiness with more than drunken dancing in the wedding video.
His aversion to the Honeymoon might be monetary? Isn’t it traditionally the groom’s family’s obligation? I know some couples pospone theirs for a better season (fall wedding, winter ski trip) or a better time (June wedding, everything’s booked), so maybe you can still plan for a vacation, or even just a two night getway – a honemoon does not need to be days and days – it’s meant to be a treat after all the stress and planning of the wedding.
I think this might just be some wedding jitters coming out of your Fiance as the event becomes more ‘real’ and he sees how much the day will take out of you both. But from what I can tell from my married friends, it’s worth it to share the day with your family.