Post # 1
So I’ve been engaged sicne 2009 and its FINALLY my year to get married and I’ve been avoiding doing any additional wedding plans that need doing. Thinking about the wedding makes me think about family and I’m up to my neck in the drama. I don’t want to be and I’m tired of it.
I really wanted a “big” wedding (moderate to most at 100 people maybe only 80). I’ve gone without so much of my life because my mother is a screw-up and I left home at 19 to get away from her. I just wanted to have this, because I always thought i would. We couldn’t save for the first 2 years of engagement because I was working part time and couldn’t find full time work and he was covering most of our living expsenses (which trust me are not high). So we finally both got better jobs and we finally have the money for a wedding and I’m blah about it. I guess I really DO want the wedding but I want the mom drama on both sides to STOP.
He is meeting wih his mom for the first time in over a year- today. And its literally making me physically sick because i don’t want to deal with all the stress. And I really don’t want to deal with his mom stress when my mom is also stressing me out. i know my mother isn’t coming to the wedding. His mom is unknown. I’d feel better if she wasn’t coming too but that’s not my decision to make. Narf.
This is really more of a vent I guess. Sometimes its just nice to know other people are going through mom shit too. 🙁
Post # 3
Hey I totally get where you are coming from in terms of not being on good terms with your mother. I also left home as soon as I could to get away from my mother. Though we do speak to each occassionally, I always try to keep the conversations brief and to the point, trying to divulge as little about my wedding details to her as possible. I wish it was different, but I have come to terms that my relationship with her will never be perfect. I know it’s natural to stress about your Fiance meeting his mom again because you know firsthand the type of mama-drama that can be stirred up, but don’t let that stress eclipse your wedding. Sometimes, no matter what happens, you got to say screw it and go with what’s best for you and your Fiance to have the best wedding possible even if it means some people can’t make it to the wedding. Good luck and remember to take slow breaths. =)
Post # 4
Sweetie I am so sorry you are going through this ! Mom drama is very emotionally draining.. I dont really have any advice, but I just wanted to make sure you knew that someone understands and hears you ! How did it go for your Fiance yesterday ?
Post # 5
Oh I so feel this – particularly the title part. FI’s mom is a total wreck, some of it her fault and some of it not as much. She hasn’t gotten to the point where she’s willing to help herself out of her proverbial hole though, and instead denies any wrongdoing on her part and just wants others to keep helping her out…and then she goes right back to where she was.
It is SO incredibly frustrating I can’t stand it. He is on the fence about her – on the one hand it’s his MOM but on the other hand, she only brings drama and problems. It doesn’t help that his little brother (who refuses to see reality and that their mother can and does do wrong) keeps pressuring Fiance to see her more and feel bad for her. BOO on that.
So just wanted to say….you are not alone in that aspect! Family can be really dramatic and crazy.
Post # 6
@JaneDomani: I totally get where you are coming from. I met my Fiance mum for the first time a few months ago. We have been together for 3 years and she didnt know about me. Thats how much he doesnt talk to his mum.
They have a past and its more trouble than its not.
I feel for you, completely. If you can ignore them all and plan the day with your Fiance to be everything YOU and he wanted, not what they want. In the end it will be worth it