Post # 1
So the FI got a job offer in Oklahoma City for 3 months, which he would just be there for training and then get transferred somewhere more permanet, where I would then move with him to. Should I go with him to OK or no? its only for 3 months, but he is really worried i will “lose interest” in him and give up. I alreadly told him im going to fly out a few times (i checked plane ticks are around $300 roundtrip from NYC) This is agreat oppurtunity for him to further his career, but of course im going to miss him terribly and i dont want him to turn it down just bc he thinks im going to run off on him!! He will get a hotel paid for, so there is no problem with me staying with him the whole time but i dont know what im going to do the whole time!
Post # 3
Are you currently working? Would going with him mean quitting your job? What about your current living situation – are you in a lease that would need to break? Do you own a home you would need to sell?
Also, what would you do in OK for 3 months, living in a hotel? If it were me, I’d be much more likely to get bored/depressed/unhappy with the relationship if I had nothing to do except sit in a hotel all day (or wander around a city I don’t know, alone) than a few months of distance!
Post # 4
We live with our parents, i live with mine, he lives with his and we bounce back nad forth evvvvery night, its terrible. We cant afford to buy in our area so he has been looking for jobs in his field/degree all over the country and this is the only one that has even given him consideration. So i have a job, its terrible im going to be going back to school once we settle down in a permanet spot where we can buy a house or rent for a little bit.
Post # 5
I think you should just plan a few trips to visit him during the 3 months. Let him know its silly to think that you would lose interest in him.
I would be bored outta my mind if I had to sit in a hotel all day long.
Post # 6
@ddw: I second everything you said!
OP – let him go and do his training in OK alone and go visit him a couple of times. You keep working your job in NY (b/c the odds of you finding something in OK that you can do for 3 months is slim to none) and then when he is done with training and is transferred somewhere more permenant, you can work on preparing to join him there.
Post # 7
I would try to get a job, nothing crazy. Maybe a retail job or something silly. But it is only for months, so i could go out there like 2 times
Post # 8
@ADKbride12: I’d say just stick it out at your job at home, and plan a trip or two to visit. Your job now may not be great, but trying to find work right now is really tough, and 1) a 2-3 month retail job on your resume is not going to look great in the long run, and 2) you don’t even know for sure you could get a retail job out there, and your job now (while not ideal) it at least guaranteed!
Three months sounds a lot longer than it will feel, I promise. 🙂
Post # 9
I think you should continue working/saving money and just visit. He’ll be busy, and trust me, Oklahoma = booooooring, especially if you aren’t working while you are there (I grew up in TX close to the OK border).
Post # 10
@ddw: I agree completely!
Finding a job right now is so much harder than it should be, even if you’re not looking for career-level jobs. There’s just tons of competition on every level, I think.
FI and I lived apart a couple of times, and it sucks a lot but you do make it through; being able to visit a few times would help substantially if you can swing it. We lived apart for 3 months right after we got engaged because I was working in NYC and he was starting school in Boston; knowing that there was a light at the end of the tunnel (I worked until I started my own grad program in Boston, and left my job accordingly) made it so much easier.