(Closed) FI taking a 3 month assignment in Oklahoma..!

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Go with him?
    Let him go alone and visit : (10 votes)
    83 %
    Go with him for 3 months : (2 votes)
    17 %
    Tell him not to go : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    7976 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    Are you currently working? Would going with him mean quitting your job? What about your current living situation – are you in a lease that would need to break? Do you own a home you would need to sell?

    Also, what would you do in OK for 3 months, living in a hotel? If it were me, I’d be much more likely to get bored/depressed/unhappy with the relationship if I had nothing to do except sit in a hotel all day (or wander around a city I don’t know, alone) than a few months of distance!

    Post # 5
    Member
    3281 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I think you should just plan a few trips to visit him during the 3 months. Let him know its silly to think that you would lose interest in him.

    I would be bored outta my mind if I had to sit in a hotel all day long.

    Post # 6
    Member
    13101 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    @ddw: I second everything you said!

    OP – let him go and do his training in OK alone and go visit him a couple of times.  You keep working your job in NY (b/c the odds of you finding something in OK that you can do for 3 months is slim to none) and then when he is done with training and is transferred somewhere more permenant, you can work on preparing to join him there.

    Post # 8
    Member
    7976 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    @ADKbride12: I’d say just stick it out at your job at home, and plan a trip or two to visit. Your job now may not be great, but trying to find work right now is really tough, and 1) a 2-3 month retail job on your resume is not going to look great in the long run, and 2) you don’t even know for sure you could get a retail job out there, and your job now (while not ideal) it at least guaranteed!

    Three months sounds a lot longer than it will feel, I promise. 🙂

    Post # 9
    Member
    10367 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I think you should continue working/saving money and just visit. He’ll be busy, and trust me, Oklahoma = booooooring, especially if you aren’t working while you are there (I grew up in TX close to the OK border).

    Post # 10
    Member
    1205 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    @ddw: I agree completely!

    Finding a job right now is so much harder than it should be, even if you’re not looking for career-level jobs. There’s just tons of competition on every level, I think.

    FI and I lived apart a couple of times, and it sucks a lot but you do make it through; being able to visit a few times would help substantially if you can swing it.  We lived apart for 3 months right after we got engaged because I was working in NYC and he was starting school in Boston; knowing that there was a light at the end of the tunnel (I worked until I started my own grad program in Boston, and left my job accordingly) made it so much easier.

    The topic ‘FI taking a 3 month assignment in Oklahoma..!’ is closed to new replies.

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