Post # 1
Ok so, FI and I have a debate going on and need your opinions. How do you guys feels about inviting guests just for the dancing part of the event?
We have a long guest list and will not be able to invite every single friend we would like too. FI wants to invite 5-10 friends to come over just to hang out after dinner is done with; around 10pm. (The ceremony ends at 1am). Theses friends are not his closest friends, but they are friends he sees on a regular basis when all the guys hang out.
My hesitation about this is 1. I know this word isn’t thrown around here, but is this idea “tacky”? It’s just how I feel so please not trying to offend anyone 2) I could be a paranoid person sometimes and the contract specifically says this is not alowed, but how would they really know? We are getting married at a formal place and if they find out the contract says its grounds to stop the event or we are subject to extra fees
So what to do?
Post # 3
I wouldn’t. And are you sure these folks want to come and dance and hang out with folks who have already had a seated dinner with dessert and pictures etc? It seems, somehow.
Post # 4
Personally I would be offended if I was only invited to the dancing. Some guys might view this differently, as just another reason to party and drink, but if my FI was invited to something like this, I know he definitely would not attend. It’s like you’re “not good enough” to be invited to the rest of the big day.
Post # 5
As far as whether it is “tacky” if the friends don’t care, then I wouldn’t care either.
But, as far as the contract goes, I am a bit of a wuss and would be uncomfortable with it. I wonder what the extra fees are?
Post # 6
We did this for local people. No one seemed to care and the people who came showed up and seemed to have fun. They weren’t our closest friends and some of them were his parents friends. I donno, it worked out just fine.
But we didn’t have contract issues to work around.
Post # 7
I think this inappropriate. I would have to say that I would also be offended if I were invited to the “dancing only” part of the reception and not for the full reception. I wouldn’t do it.
Post # 8
Don’t do it! These people aren’t enough to be invited to the actual wedding, so why are they important enough to risk ending the reception over a contract dispute???
Post # 9
1) it’s in your contract. the contract you agreed to and signed! why take chances?
2) a lot of people would think it rude. maybe have an after party instead and invite them to that?
Post # 10
- Wedding: October 2010 - Rancho San Carlos
I once received an invitation that was poorly designed, and it initially seemed like I was only invited to the “dancing to follow” part. Even though I wasn’t very close to this person, I initially felt a little bit offended – like why would they invite me at all?
Post # 12
- Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas
Nope. Many people would be offended if they were just invited to the dancing part – I think if you have an after party, that would be a great opportunity to invite them!
Post # 13
I like to think that guys would be a bit more lax on the offense part, especially if they fully understand the situation. But I’d be nervous about the contract-explicitly-stating-we-won’t-do-this part. That makes me think “no”.
Post # 16
@Ryansgirl- Exactly! That’s what I told FI that people might feel that they were not good enough to be invited to the ceremony, dinner, and the rest
FI says that those friends wont really care and and would just hang out and drink, but by that time are host bar would be over! So what’s the point? The guys would be driving for 45 min to show up and hang for 2 hrs and pay for their own drinks?
However, at my brother’s wedding 2 yrs ago he had a full host bar. His venue was more open and I don’t think nothing was stated in his contract about this. He paid a ridiculous amount for his venue and host bar and corckage fee to bring his own wine so he told me to invite a couple of friends to drink for free for a couple of hrs. So 2 of my friends ended up showing up and dancing n drinking for 2 hours. So I’m confused b/c we did this at bro’s wedding but I’m not willing to do it at my own.