Post # 1
So, I got engaged in April, and we agreed that we would have a longer engagement (1.5-2 years). Now, My fiance has decided that he atleast wants to put a down payment on a house first, before we get married. Now, considering we both work part time (well, I work 2 part time jobs 7 days a week so it =full time w/o benefits), I’m going to grad school in august, and we both live with our parents I’m a little sad. It’s going to take longer than 2 years for that to happen. Fiance is wanting to change jobs, but he hasn’t actually put in any apps. I am just a little frustrated because I was all excited about getting to plan, getting married when i finish next May, and I’m working so hard to save for school/ moving out…Now yet another obstacle has been put in front of me. we already have to wait because of my grad school, and I knew that we’d have to wait until atleast one of us is working full time, but I figured that we could just live in a little apartment for a while first…
I have been looking in my spare time to help him with his job search, and I have found a few, but still no applications. I love him to death, but sometimes I just want to shake him by the shoulders and say “YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN DO THIS! IF YOU WANT IT THAT BAD, THEN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!” lol. Anyone else going through something similar?
Post # 3
Wow. You poor thing. That’s a lot of stress.
My husband and I had a longer engagement (2 years, 4 months) so that I could finish grad school. We’re doing just fine in our apartment. I’d have been devastated if for some reason we couldn’t get married till we had a house because we’ve been married almost a year and we still aren’t there yet.
Post # 4
If you have weirdo in-laws like I do, it’s a good idea to get a house first. That’s what Fiance did. He prolonged the engagement cuz of that. I was pissed but in the end I am SO GLAD he did that cuz his parents aer totally psycho! (They are separated yet they can unleash a wrath like nobody else). I wouldn’t have liked the possibility of EVERRRRRRRR having to live with either of them for even a short while. Not even to save up money for a house later. And instead of renting, it was wiser to just purchase a house at that time due to low home prices.
So this could all feel like a pain in the ass right now but after you actually get a place and start living in it, you might think VERY DIFFERENTLY abt this idea. i know I did. And believe me, I was ANGRY, FRUSTRATED and everything else in between cuz all I wanted was to be engaged/married to my wonderful man! I didn’t care abt having to rent an aptmnt, etc. But I can FEEL the difference that one decision made.
Post # 5
I completely agree with both of you. Like I said, I know it’s a smart move. But both our families have Major problems, and I sometimes feel that we’d be better off just getting out. I guess it was more relief when I thought we were finally starting our own life, and now I feel like I’m going to be here forEVER! I’m hoping that his connections keep their word, as he has some potential job opportunities, we’re just waiting to hear back. He said that if he gets the one close to our town that there are lots of houses for sale near it. ***fingers crossed***
I hope it doesn’t take as long as I think. But he needs to get on with it if he’s serious about finding another job. They are out there. You just gotta be willing to look and not too proud to be blue collar.