FI wants his Mom to stay with us before the wedding!

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 4
Member
10748 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

I totally would feel the same way! It sucks because it’s his mom, but you don’t want to be stressed and busy hosting either.

Post # 5
Member
1312 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - NH

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable.  Maybe talk to her yourself and just let her know your concerns?  I would say something like it’s going to be so hard for you to keep your head straight, nevermind trying to be a good hostess that you want her to have a fun time away from the bridezilla but that you’ll definitely schedule in family time with her.

 

Post # 6
Member
1136 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

@Beachy0404:  I’d feel the exact same way you do. You don’t need the added pressure, they can stay elsewhere!

Post # 7
Member
1981 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@Beachy0404:  Not unreasonable at all- you have plenty of other things to worry about.  Tell FI no.

Post # 8
Member
922 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

We literally live 1 mile from our venue, and even I am getting a hotel room for the weekend! I told FI that no one is staying at our house, I am not in charge of entertaining, and that there are no compromises on this.

After some hesitation, he finally agreed and everyone has been farely understanding

Post # 9
Member
1864 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@Beachy0404:  I think you’re being unreasonable. It’s his mom, I’d never expect my mom to go stay in a hotel than with us, I would show my fiance’s mom the same respect. 

Also, being that it’s the week of your wedding, I’m sure no one will expect you to play host, and they will understand when you don’t. She will know you are busy and I’m sure will not expect you to cook for her or any of that. She might end up being helpful having another pair of arms around. 

Post # 10
Member
3941 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Beachy0404:   You are not being unreasonable.  I’m surprised she would consider staying with you the week before your wedding – obviously a busy, stressful time.  

Post # 11
Member
3598 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Tell him you’re going to be stressed out enough already, and need your home to be a sanctuary where you can relax and decompress.  You can’t do that with guests, especially if the place is really small.

Post # 12
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

DEFINITELY not unreasonable! II couldn’t handle that the week of our wedding, either!

Post # 13
Member
6505 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Diamond84:  +1

I wouldn’t make his mom stay on a hotel. I’m sure she understands that you are busy and can’t play host all week.

Post # 14
Member
722 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I’m going to concur with the PPs on here…I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all! The last thing that I would want to do on the week of our wedding is host! It really wouldn’t matter who it was, it just would be way too stressful! :-/

Post # 15
Member
2913 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

i don’t think that’s unreasonable at all. i’m actually surprised that his mom doesn’t see anything wrong with it either. usually women are more considerate of these things. when i got married, my mom didn’t want any houseguests either. and whenever we visit family for big events, we always leave the hosts alone and find other accomodations.

did she make other arrangements for the night of the wedding or will you and your husband be staying in a hotel? cause spending your wedding night with your husband and his mother would suck, lol

Post # 16
Member
136 posts
Blushing bee

I’d “let” her stay, but I’d explain to both FI and FMIL that the guest room is packed (and I would not make an attempt to “clean it out”, and I’d also explain my other obligations, and tell her to feel free to “make herself at home”….hopefully she’d get the hint that she would have to cook, etc.

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