FI wants to buy a new Lexus before the wedding

posted 3 years ago in Money
Post # 2
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

theEguarantee:  FI and I have 6 accounts. We each have our own checking and savings account and then we have a joint checking and savings account. We put certain amounts in the joint accounts and we put the rest in our own accounts.

For us….the decision would be this: If he can afford it out of HIS checking/savings account (without a loan) he can buy it. If he needs a loan or will be using joint money for anything (insurance, downpayment, etc) then it has to be a joint decision (and I would probably say no).

Our personal philosophy is that we don’t take loans for anything that isn’t a large purchase and absolute necessity. New couch? We won’t finance it because we can sit on the old one until we save up for a new one. A new car? If our old one is dying (or costing us a lot in repairs) then yes, we need it to get to work. A second/fun car? Not even a chance.

Luckily, our spending habits are similar. He is also a car guy and spends a lot of his personal money to buy things like a new intake, new exhaust system, new LED head lights and tail lights, so I get that part, but I wouldn’t support him buying another “toy” that will need payments for the next 8 years.

Post # 3
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

theEguarantee:  LOL. Yeah, sorry…if you have to finance a car over a seven or eight year term, you’re not affording it – you’re just willing to put yourself in financial straights to get it.

I can guarantee you that your FI is way, way, way upside down on that truck – that he owes far more than it’s currently worth and this may be why he’s not trading it – he can’t. I can also pretty much guarantee you that he’s going to want a new car long before the truck or Lexus is paid off. 

He’s financially irresponsible. he’s feeding you a line of bullshit about his credit raging. I seriously doubt that after marriage he’s going to magically become responsible. You should think about that and what it will mean to your future. 


Post # 4
12875 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Are you combining finances after the wedding?  Personally, I could not just let this go.  It’s not just “his” money and “his” life this purchase effects.  If he is getting married to you, he needs to start thinking about what is best for the both of you as a unit and stop being so selffish imo.  I would have to sit down and look at the numbers with him and the outcome would hopefully be one of 2 things.  1.  You believe that he does have plenty of money for it, and continue to support this spending of his.  2. He sees the numbers and budgets and decides that he in fact cannot very comfortably afford it and decides not to get it.  Do you have a house?  Retirement savings?  Rainy day savings?  All that should come before another lux car imo.

Post # 5
643 posts
Busy bee

Even if your money isn’t combined, I think the best case scenario is to work together towards the same goals. I also think it is important for successful long term partners to have similar financial outlooks.

If he is “wasting” money on something he doesn’t need, I can understand your annoyance. However, if he can afford his “waste” while still meeting your joint obligations and goals, then the choice should be his. 

I would be annoyed with my partner if he wanted to spend money on extravagant luxeries, especially if the purchase wasn’t an asset and actually depreciates in value (like a car). The money could be used in better ways that benefit you both. 

Post # 7
2670 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

Zhabeego:  +1 I completely agree. The real reason not to trade in the truck is because he owes so much money on it, and getting a second vehicle under the circumstances is irresponsible.

Post # 8
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

thenewmrsmax:  +1. I like your approach to joint finances!

We do something similar in that a certain percentage of our paychecks go into the joint account and the rest is up to us to divide between our individual checking and savings as we see fit. One off purchases from the individual accounts do not require permission-but anything that will take up a lot of space (like a car), require recurring outlay (like a car), or potentially change our lifestyle (like a….pet. Or a car!) has to be discussed and agreed upon.

Maybe your guy will cool his jets on the second car in the coming months. However, you guys definitely need to get together a financial plan and agree on how you are going to handle large purchases and discretionary spending once you’re married.

Post # 9
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Omgoodness a 7 year car note and then another 8 year financing deal. Heck no! Right before I met my husband he “bought” the brand new Camaro. Paid $5k over MSRP and entered into a 6 yr loan. I cannot believe he is still paying for that damn car. He doesn’t even like the car anymore. He (we) will never make that kind of decision again. At most a 3 year finance agreement and if that doesn’t work the car is just not within budget. Obviously credit is not the issue otherwise the loan wouldn’t have been offered. I just think of a car as a very pricey trend and when it goes out of fashion I don’t want to still be paying for it.

Post # 11
3222 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

theEguarantee:  this isn’t a $500 xbox you’re talking about, this is a ~$80000+ almost decade long financial commitment! Just the idea of making payments on an 8 year old car that’s probably worth a small fraction of what he paid makes me want to run in the other direction. 

This is beyond irresponsible. You’re not being a nagging fiancée if you’re the voice of reason. I’d love to make payments on a Chanel 2.55 (and heck, that’s something that doesnt depreciate in value!), but I don’t because I’m an adult and I have to plan my finances around what the responsible thing to do is, not what my wants are.

He may think he can afford it now, but what will the two of you do if one of you loses his/her job? If one of you gets sick and can’t work? If your house needs a new roof? And if he is contributing to savings and retirement healthily and has so much money leftover, he can pay off his truck faster. 

If I were you, I wouldn’t drop this. 

Post # 12
2365 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

If he’s talking about buying the LFA, that car is hot, amazing,  mind blowing sex on 4 wheels, and if my fiance came to me and said he sold everything to buy that car, I would completely understand.  It’s not the fastest on the Nurburgring stock, but that’s ok. Any other Lexus,  my answer would be a resounding ‘oh HELL no’.

Post # 13
1843 posts
Buzzing bee

theEguarantee:  I have a Lexus that is kind of a sports car. As much as I love it, even now, 10 years later, it was a dumb decision made when I was 21 years old. And of course, the worst part is that after you end up paying for all those years, pretty much paying the car twice, the car is old and needs repairs. I just had to buy a new SUV because the Lexus needed $6,000 in repairs to keep moving. Lexus parts are expensive. REALLY expensive. And in sports cars they use very thin tires and big rims. This means tires are $175-200 the cheap ones and they break super easy. Mostly get damaged and get bumps (bubbles) if you hit a pot hole. Having $200 extra in unexpected expenses due to tire changing every couple months is an extra he needs to account for.   Paying that much money in repairs for an old car that might break down three months after that was not a smart move. And get this… I was spending $800 a month in gas on that baby.  So the fact that he can barely get financing for it, having to lease and then finance for 5 more years says that he is really not in a position to comfortably afford that car. I’d be worried too

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by  Sporty-Bee.
Post # 15
2787 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

theEguarantee:  Right after we got engaged my FI wanted to BADLY to buy a Lexus (he was looking at Audi’s as well). He desperatly needed a car upgrade..but the pricetag was redonkulous. 

I was able to find out the reason why my FI really “needed” that particular Lexus, and he explained that the technology in the car was amazing, and not really on the market yet ,lange change assist and lane keep assit for example.

So I started doing some homework, and wouldn’t you know that Honda came out with a new Accord 2013 (it was 2012 at the time) that had most of the features he was looking for (except for lane keep assist, but apparently that wasn’t available on the Lexus in Canada anyways). The Accord had the change assit, the look of an more expensive car,  other technology that my now Dh was looking for… fully docked, the Accord was all for less then half price of the Lexus. 

It took some convincing, and some primises that the next car (in like 3-5 years) can be a Lexus or Audi and we took home the Accord (after hours of bargaining) , it was brand new at the dealership maybe 1 week…but yet we spent less. 

Most people think we have a luxury car (if they don’t see the honda sign) also Honda lasts like FOREVER….our other older car is a 97′ Accord, still going strong (needs to last me till I am done school). 

So take my story as a lesson, don’t try to convince him not to get it, try to postpone his desicion if you will. Also find out why he wants that specific carl. good luck. 


Leave a comment

Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors