Post # 1
So the title pretty much says it all. FI was apparently under the impression that we would spend the wedding night at our house (only about a mile from the venue). I guess that might be ok, although I would like to do something more special, but the best man and his wife will be staying at our place the night before and night of our wedding. So that really doesn’t seem romantic at all! Our reception is also wrapping up around 4pm and he seems to think we can drive the best man/wife and/or our neighbors home right afterward. That’s a nice gesture and all, but I just want to have some time alone with my new husband! Can’t they call a cab or walk if they aren’t too tired? Am I being unreasonable here??
Post # 2
4pm is awfully early to call it a day if all you get to do is drive people back to your house! I agree that it’d be nice to have time alone with your new husband so even though you are getting married locally, isn’t there anywhere you could stay for the night instead? Even a modest hotel would make the evening rather more special.
Post # 3
Whoa! I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all.
We did stay in a hotel room– but when my husband’s sister couldn’t afford a room on her own, and didn’t want to stay with thier other sister and her boyfriend in thier room….she never asked if she could stay with us, but we did have a brief, almost hoking conversation about it. If there was one night that we weren’t going to let someone crash in our hotel room, it was the night of our wedding. Same would have gone if we stayed at our house, most likely.
I honestly don’t know if it would have bothered me so much if our reception wrapped up as early as yours is going to…..we ended up going out to a bar downtown after our reception ended, mostly because we were all dressed up!! And we went with friends. We were so exhausted when we got back to the room, we didn’t even do the deed that night….but we did first thing the next morning.
Can your BM and his wife not afford a hotel room? If you guys aren’t going to stay in one, have you thought about springing $100 towards a room for THEM to stay at? (Not that it’s your responsibility, just throwing a suggestion out there).
You might end up having a nice night with the BM and his wife, but it’s a lot nocer knowing you have the option of doing whatever you might want on your wedding night.
Why is your husband so opposed to staying in a hotel, if you don’t mind me asking?
Post # 4
LibrarianBride: I don’t think you are being unreasonable at all. I do think your FH is being too accomodating however. It’s ok to be selfish and want to spend private time together, even if that means just taking some simple, quiet time to bask in your new marriage.
Your friends can stay at your house without you being there. I think you should get a nice place to stay the afternoon of your wedding day, unwind and relax solo.
Post # 5
Steampunkbride: MrsEME: LilRhodyGem: I agree that it would be nice to find somewhere to stay locally so we can have some time together! I kind of expected it actually, which was why when the BM asked if he and his wife could stay at our place I said it was fine. I mean, I was kind of taken aback because I would NEVER ask a couple getting married if I could stay with them for the wedding, but they live on the other side of the country and own their own business so I didn’t know if they were maybe having trouble financially or something. Maybe I will look into somewhere to stay that’s nice, but not too expensive, and plan on just staying the 1 night and then going home in the morning so FI can hang out with the BM for a bit and drive them to the airport. I don’t really know where his head is with this whole thing…does he want to hang out with the BM, or not want them to feel alone in the house, or just not want to stay in a hotel in our own city or what. This only recently came up when I casually mentioned that we should figure out where we will spend the wedding night and he hasn’t really explained his thinking! I kind of think it would be really anti-climactic to stay at home even if no one was staying with us. What are we going to do for the whole rest of the day (aside from the obvious 😉 )? Cook dinner and watch a movie like any other Saturday night?
Post # 6
I think you just need to have an open conversation with you FI about this so you both know where eachother stands.
I’m not a beat-around-the-bush type of person. Before I assumed we were staying in a hotel, I’d talk to my husband (although we are usually always on the same page), and before I agreed that ANYONE could stay at our house – anytime – there would be a conversation about it. I would not say “yes” and assume my FH wants to stay in a hotel with me. We’d be having the conversation before BM got any sort of answer.