Post # 1
FI texted me over lunch saying that his week just ended in the worst possible way: he was let go from his job. The first job that got his foot in the IT door and was just two months in.
Shocked and concerned, I immediately call him and see how he’s doing. Ask him if was, since it was a temporary, part-time job, because the temporary part was done. Nope, it was because of his performance.
Puzzled, I ask if this was out of the blue or if they had said something before. They had, a few times about different things. Complete surprise to me since he hadn’t said anything to me about problems at work. I feel my concern morphing into anger as he goes on to say that since they didn’t tell him how to fix the problems they had with his performance, he hadn’t changed anything. And that first thing Monday morning he’ll start looking for another job since no one is going to look at hiring someone on a Friday.
Pissed, I tell him no, he will start looking NOW. In my mind I’m thinking if it was a sudden lay-off that had nothing to do with his performance I would gladly let him recover from his shock and start Monday. But somehow he fucked up and got fired. Sorry baby, you messed up and now you need to start fixing it.
So now he’s upset because I wouldn’t let him recover from his shock and I’m trying to figure out how the heck he managed to fuck up so badly at a job he claimed to love and how we’re going to pay bills. I applied for a second part-time job last week to help save up for the wedding so I’m keeping my fingers crossed that I’ll hear back. And I’m coming into work over the weekend to do over-time. He wants to recover for 2-and-a-half days and I’m kissing my weekend good-bye. GRRRR
Post # 3
I feel for you! I’d be just as upset.
Post # 4
Is there more history of him “fucking up” other jobs? Because IMO that’s kinda harsh..
Post # 5
@punkin83: Maybe it is a little harsh. As far as I know, he hasn’t done anything like this at past jobs. He had issues with managment at his last job (Wal-Mart, but who doesn’t have problems working there?) that I think he could have changed his attitude at work and fixed a lot of problems. But that could have been him doing his own venting and that he has a much more cooperative attitude at work.
All I know is he avoided my question when I asked if he had done anything to address their concerns when they talked to him. I’m still a little pissed which is why I’m still at work venting on the Bee instead of home wanting to chew him out.
Post # 6
I understand. Just keep in mind that his failure is probably punishment enough, and chewing him out may just put you in the bitch category. This is a man, he has his man pride. If you have no doubt that he will be on the ball to be employed and is employable, I would let him handle this. But thats just my opinion. Just saying that it good to think about what you wish to achieve by chewing him out when you know he’ll need to fix his employment situation anyways. GL:)
Post # 8
Don’t be so hard on him, it might not be entirely his fault. Unfortunately I’ve worked at plenty of places where they manipulate employees work so they can get rid of them based on performance. It’s aweful, they set up the employee to fail or make the environment so bad that they want to quit. It can be really difficult to avoid once they have you in their sights without playing hardball politics.
Post # 9
I have to agree with PP.. guys are usually kinda sensitive when it comes to their jobs. He has to feel horrible for getting fired. If it were me, I’d try to comfort him but still be assertive that he needs to get out there and find a job on Monday.
Post # 10
I don’t agree, I think he needs to get his act together. If someone is not happy with your work, you ask how you can make it better. You don’t take zero action. I’d be pissed too, OP.
Post # 11
Give him a break–getting fired is upsetting–he needs the weekend to mope and then get back on the job hunt on monday. If you’re angry with him because you think he got himself fired, at least wait a bit to lay into him about it—what good do you expect that to do? Is that how you would want to be treated right after you got fired?
Obviously he’s kicking himself for not seeing the writing on the wall-he doesn’t need you to throw it in his face. He probably didn’t realize that they were that unhappy with him and is only seeing it in retrospect.
Post # 12
Wow,he is going through a pretty rough spot today. You need to be more supportive.
Post # 13
Thanks ladies for making me feel horrible about what I was feeling. I said I wanted to chew him out, not that I would. I was trying to vent my frustrations out so I wouldn’t take them out on him. I thought that was encouraged on this site.
So I’m just supposed to take more on my already full plate so he can lick his wounds while I figure out how we’re going to keep a roof over our head and food on the table…great
Post # 14
Sometimes people make mistakes, or they aren’t fitting in a certain work environment. It deosn’t mean he is a poor worker, necessarily. If my husband got fired, he would be so upset, and I would definitely give him a weekend to rest his mind, and recollect his thoughts and energy. I think you are punishing him, when it is your role to support him.
Post # 15
@LuckyClover: He’s not talking about a 6 month recovery, he’s talking about over a weekend. It would probably be more beneficial for him in his search to take a few days to get his head together.
Post # 16
If me and my bf were in a position finantialy, I’d so be ok with allowing time for him (or me, if I was the one who lost a job) to heal. It’s hard when you’re tld that “you suck” essentially.
But if we lived paycheck to paycheck with VERY little wiggle room, I’d freak the hell out.
That on top of the OP’s knowledge of her husband’s job went from “It’s awsome I’m doing great” to “Well I was fired for performince issues they talked to me about that I didn’t fix” is a complete 180
Why not some to your wife with the things that happened? WHen she asked him ‘How was your day’ (which I’m sure she did) he clearly LIED and said ‘Oh it was great/fine/awsome’. Why didn’t he tell her he got written up? That’s not fine at all! Seems like theats info that a wife should know.
In a mater of minutes she goes from her weekend is almost here to, ‘Ok now you’re working on the weekends too plus another job and OT!’. All while her husband is at home not even looking for work. Why can’t he start looking on craigslist, spruce up his resume’, start thinking of a way to explain the sudden job loss now? Is he just going to sit at home and say “poor me” all weekend?
Now I know that people need time to process things. I can see taking the rest of the day off to settle. But 2+days to relax without doing anything to work to helping the bills get payed? I understand job loss is hard, but he lied to her and then pulled the rug out from under her and now wants time to relax
.He should never have lied to her It seems a bit selfish to me.