Hmm, as a newly married couple, i can honestly say we don’t have a ton of sex. It’s probably not normal for a lot of people but it doesn’t seem to bug us! I work full time AND go to school and am exhausted during the week. This past weekend he had drill so he worked all day so it’s been longer than normal for us.
I don’t like having sex JUST for him so I understand you on that one. I have to want it, too. Otherwise i feel kinda dirty, just doing it to do it because he wants it, when my mind is floating to my notes that I should be thinking about or that test I have this week or my to-do list. I can’t just shut my brain off because it’s our 30 minute nookie time…sometimes life takes precedence. While your sex life should be important, too, sometimes there are temporary things going on that take priority. And I know life will always be like that, but still. Trust me, this whole work+school thing is temporary. Especially a desk job where falling asleep is just too damn easy.
We’re more weekend sexy kind of people. What’s prohibiting you guys from that? I can TOTALLY understand not having it DURING the week. For us, it just doesn’t happen. I don’t think we’ve had weekday sex since I started classes! I don’t get home til 7, make dinner, study, pass out. Literally, pass out as soon as my head hits the pillow. Sometimes we fool around but we don’t necessarily have sex. Do you at least fool around during the week? or is it literally sex he wants more of? Mine seems perfectly fine with getting some other action if it’s not sex! He’s very understanding (i also experience some pain about 50% of the time which makes me a little anxious about having sex–so I have to be in full relaxed mood…nice bath, a back rub, glass of wine, a good mood, otherwise it just compounds the biological issue–so basically it’s sort of a big event for us! ha!) but not pushy about it. He knows that me being in a good, relaxed mood makes for a better night, so to speak, and helps facilitate more sex. He’ll often pour ME a glass of wine without asking and just hand it to me. I always like wine =]. Would your Fiance being more romantic/helpful in that department to sort of, well, get your going, entice you to have sex more often? It’s hard to go from “busy all day, nonstop” to rolling into bed to “let’s get it on!”
But, really, if you’re busy during the week, what’s stopping you from it on the weekend? What are his expectations? twice a week? three?
Oh, also…is it possible he’s saying sex because he wants more intimacy in general? As in a non-sex way? Even when I study on the couch, I’ll sit with my feet on my husband sometimes or when I get up to get a glass of water, I’ll give him a quick kiss or something. When you study, are you shutting yourself off in another room or rushing through dinner so quickly he’s feeling neglected in MORE ways than just sex? It may be easier for him to say “i’m feeling neglected sexually” versus “i’m feeling neglected in all kinds of ways”. Just a thought. We may not have sex during the week, but we definitely fall asleep all snuggly. It makes us feel connected and intimate even if we don’t have the time/energy to necessarily have sex. Also–it’s kinda messy and I like to go to bed clean =P