- 3 years ago
- Wedding: August 2015
I know there are a lot of girls here who stress about the bachelor party and lay down very tough ground rules, there are posts for them all over Wedding bee. I am definitely an advocate of every relationship has it’s own boundaries and I respect that. I have noticed however, that girls like me who encourage their SO to have a night of pure debauchary seem to get a little slammed or put down. So I figured I’d write my own post and see if there are other girls who share my opinion. When I first started reading some of these sorts of posts, I felt a bit disheartened and like perhaps I shouldn’t be okay with this. I actually started getting a bit nervous after further research and reading all the horror stories (probably shouldn’t have done that lol) but after a quick convo with FI, realised that I was being influenced by these other opinions, but they are NOT mine. So I guess I’m trying to say it’s okay to be okay with it 🙂
We aren’t getting married for another 11 months, but FI and his GM are already planning frantically for the bachelor. Its kind of cute to see them so excited and so organised for once!! BM even has a little diary that he bought LOL! So far the loose idea is a day of either paintballing or go-karts where the junior groomsman and FI’s son can be involved in. From there they will grab a quick dinner somewhere, then hire out the exclusive poker room of a local exclusive strip club. They will be served by topless barmaids and groom gets complimentary lap dance. The winner of the poker tournament also gets a lapdance and I think they give out some other prizes for various reasons. From there they will probably go back to a large apartment they will hire out and have a stripper or two rock up there while they continue the party. These strippers will more than likely be dominatrixes or something along those lines judging by the giggly tone of the BM and do the typical whipping with a belt, putting a leash on him and all that stuff.
I know to lots of Bees, this would sound absolutely apalling and that’s fine, but this is also a fairly typical bucks party in my area.
I know my FI has been dreaming about his Bucks party for years and years. I know that he loves looking at hot women and drinking. I am fine with him having a night of complete indulgence with the boys, letting loose before the wedding. I don’t count lap dances as cheating, in fact I have bought him one before for a suprise and know for a fact he likes the idea of them more than the actual act. I think the private shows where they humiliate the groom is for the friends expense more than the grooms and it will be a hilarious memory of the night.
I know that he will not “go too far” with a stripper. I know strippers will rarely sleep with a groom or be paid for sex and I also know that my FI’s friends and family like me almost as much as they like him (in fact I have been told a few times if he doesn’t go through with marrying me, they will haha.) Most importantly, I trust FI with all my heart to enjoy a little bit of harmless fun, but to know when to stop.
The other important thing was FI was open and honest about his intentions and said if I wasn’t okay with it, he would respect my boundaries. None of this “I can’t control what happens because the boys plan it” cop out BULLSHIT (sorry girls who have gotten that excuse) At first I objected to the strippers at the hotel room and he was okay with that, but then I had a change of mind and said you know what? I trust you, if that’s what you want then go ahead!!
The only thing I requested is if anyone does play up other than him, who is taken, I don’t want to know as it would put me in a compromised situation, but I know he will tell me anything else that goes down.
I guess I just see it as 1 night in our whole relationship and no big deal in the big scheme of things. From his side he gets the second best night of his life (after our wedding of course :P) and he has never and will never have this opportunity again (I hope haha). I mean really, I know girls say guys should have done all this while they were single, but unless they are loaded I don’t know any guys who would be the centre of attention at a stripper and alcohol laden event other than his bucks night. I don’t want him going through life missing out on that. He has always been steadfastly faithful to me and is a good man so I feel he deserves this.
Who is/was with me?