Post # 1
We’ve been engaged for four months now and FI doesn’t want to talk about our wedding. He wants to wait until his sister is done with her wedding in February but he won’t even discuss hypothetical things. What do I do?
Post # 2
That’s kind of odd – what is his reasoning? Is he just overwhelmed by his family discussing weddings and can’t take any more? Does he think you guys should wait for hers to see what to do or not to do?
Did you set a date yet?
Post # 3
That’s weird. It’s not like you’re talking about it in front of his sister, sounds like an excuse to me. Either ask him why and risk him getting defensive, or wait until after February when he might come up with another excuse…
Post # 4
Just wait until his sister wedding is over and try to talk to him about it again than. If he still doesn’t want to talk about it than ask him why and get a straight answer. Until than just enjoy being engaged and if you really want just plan things on your own.
Post # 5
Moorea12: no, no date yet. We looked at a venue ONCE and we really liked it but he just suddenly refused to talk about it.
Post # 6
Maybe he feels there’s too much already going on in his family with his sister’s upcoming wedding and doesn’t want to deal with his until after hers is done with.
Post # 7
- Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA
99 times out of a hundred, I err on the side of “Don’t make your groom talk about the wedding if he doesn’t want to.” Some people (men and women alike) feel intimidated by all the planning required, or don’t want to risk saying the “wrong” thing if you ask for their opinion. But in this case, I’m sorry to say … is it possible he’s having doubts? To be all gung-ho until you start looking at venues just seems like he had an “Oh SH!T, this is really happening!” moment and is feeling all topsy-turvy about it. Which doesn’t necessarily reflect on his love for you: getting married represents a huge change in someone’s life, and it’s normal to be cautious at times about how big a deal it really is.
In your calmest, most non-judgmental, NON-confrontational voice, you can ask him if it’s really about his sister’s wedding or if there is a bigger emotional component to it. Maybe he just needs time to let it sink in. But if he is still making excuses after February, consider running for the hills :-/
Post # 8
Elementary: hmm. I think there’s more here than just his sister’s wedding if he isn’t even willing to discuss WHEN he would like to be married.
Post # 9
Elementary: my FI didn’t want to talk weddings until about 9 months after we got engaged. We set a date around a month or so after that. When we get married, it’ll be a 2 year engagement. We wanted that to save the money for the wedding. Any chance that’s why hes waiting to talk about it?
Post # 10
- Wedding: April 2015 - Miami, Fl
Elementary: Honestly I wouldn’t worry too much just yet. My FI and I were in the same boat. We got engaged in April and didn’t set a date till September. His older sister got married in August and we both wanted to wait till her wedding before we started planning our own. Mostly because we haven’t been to too many weddings and were still deciding how we wanted ours to be.
Post # 11
I would just ask what the problem is.