FI wont talk about weddings.

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
1670 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

That’s kind of odd – what is his reasoning? Is he just overwhelmed by his family discussing weddings and can’t take any more? Does he think you guys should wait for hers to see what to do or not to do?

Did you set a date yet? 

Post # 3
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee

That’s weird. It’s not like you’re talking about it in front of his sister, sounds like an excuse to me. Either ask him why and risk him getting defensive, or wait until after February when he might come up with another excuse…

Good luck.

Post # 4
Member
2390 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Just wait until his sister wedding is over and try to talk to him about it again than. If he still doesn’t want to talk about it than ask him why and get a straight answer. Until than just enjoy being engaged and if you really want just plan things on your own. 

Post # 6
Member
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Maybe he feels there’s too much already going on in his family with his sister’s upcoming wedding and doesn’t want to deal with his until after hers is done with.

Post # 7
Member
1236 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA

99 times out of a hundred, I err on the side of “Don’t make your groom talk about the wedding if he doesn’t want to.” Some people (men and women alike) feel intimidated by all the planning required, or don’t want to risk saying the “wrong” thing if you ask for their opinion. But in this case, I’m sorry to say … is it possible he’s having doubts? To be all gung-ho until you start looking at venues just seems like he had an “Oh SH!T, this is really happening!” moment and is feeling all topsy-turvy about it. Which doesn’t necessarily reflect on his love for you: getting married represents a huge change in someone’s life, and it’s normal to be cautious at times about how big a deal it really is.

In your calmest, most non-judgmental, NON-confrontational voice, you can ask him if it’s really about his sister’s wedding or if there is a bigger emotional component to it. Maybe he just needs time to let it sink in. But if he is still making excuses after February, consider running for the hills :-/

Post # 8
Member
1670 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Elementary:  hmm. I think there’s more here than just his sister’s wedding if he isn’t even willing to discuss WHEN he would like to be married. 

Post # 9
Member
579 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Elementary:  my FI didn’t want to talk weddings until about 9 months after we got engaged. We set a date around a month or so after that. When we get married, it’ll be a 2 year engagement. We wanted that to save the money for the wedding. Any chance that’s why hes waiting to talk about it?

Post # 10
Member
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2015 - Miami, Fl

Elementary:  Honestly I wouldn’t worry too much just yet. My FI and I were in the same boat. We got engaged in April and didn’t set a date till September. His older sister got married in August and we both wanted to wait till her wedding before we started planning our own. Mostly because we haven’t been to too many weddings and were still deciding how we wanted ours to be.

Post # 11
Member
689 posts
Busy bee

I would just ask what the problem is.

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