FI working nights

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
45 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2014

My FI works overnights on Thurs. – Sat. nights.  Its been a month for us and we have one more to go.  It gets easier.  I just do a lot of wedding stuff, read some books I want to cath up on, watch chick flicks that I know he would absolutly hate to see, then make the nights we have more special.  Knowing it is only temporary helps as well.  

Good Luck!!

Post # 5
Member
3077 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

@lunalyra:  My SO has been overnight 5 nights a week for almost 3 months now. It’s not temporary, she’s a night shift supervisor so we plan on this being the case for another year or so. It’s SUCH a huge adjustment. I don’t really have any tips but just be glad it’s temporary! I totally feel your pain.

Post # 7
Member
3077 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

@lunalyra:  She works monday nights-friday nights so on Saturday when she gets home, usually she’ll take a 2-5 hour nap at somepoint during the day. Sometimes she’ll go right to sleep when she gets home and other times she won’t until like 3pm…then she goes back to normal sleep saturday night and sunday night, and another 3-5 hour nap on mondays so she’s rested enough to work monday night. It’s taken almost all 3 months that she’s been working to really get on a schedule that works. It’s hard!! It sucks because I work mondays so I basically only have a day & a half with her during the weekend since she has to sleep for half a day.

It’s good money & it’s a step into management which will get her where she wants to go so we talked a lot about it beforehand and decided together that we’d make it work. She had to take nyquil to sleep during the days for almost a month! NOT advisable btw, it made her really sick after 3 weeks. Now she just takes a melatonin occasionally to help her get to sleep.

What does your FI do?

Post # 9
Member
1604 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

My fiance works 2nd shift, which is 2-11, so he doesn’t get home until almost midnight.

I work a regular shift (8-5 or 930-630), so we really don’t ever see each other during the week, which sucks.

When we first bought our house, it was really hard to adjust to coming home to an empty house, eating dinner alone, sleeping alone, etc.

Sometimes I still do wish that he worked a regular shift, becuse coming home to an empty house after a bad day REALLY sucks, but I’m adjusting.

And it makes the weekends so much better. Once Saturday gets here, we can’t WAIT to spend time together – even if it’s just grocery shopping or wedding planning or watching a movie.

We don’t see each other during the week, so by the time the weekends roll around, we’re “hungry” for each other. lol

Not seeing each other all the time means we don’t get on each other’s nerves too often, so we really enjoy/make the most out of when we ARE together.

Just try and look at the good side of things.

There will be an adjustment period, but you’ll learn to cope.

Post # 10
Member
5087 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2014

It’s hard to get used to at first but you’ll be okay. I keep myself busy by wedding planning and chatting on the bee. My hubs to be works two nights a week, used to be four. He plans to pick up more night shifts to help the wedding savings. 

Post # 11
Member
42522 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Do what you would do if you were single.

Do what you always wanted to do when you were too busy with your postgrad work. Shop, walk, explore, vist art galleries and museums, farmer’s markets etc.

Do some volunteer work.

Post # 12
Member
1140 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Its def difficult to get used to. My fiance works a variety of shifts in retail, so some times he works morning shifts, and other times he works late 330-12. I work mon-fri 9-530. So  some weeks we rarely see each other and others we see each other everynight! But it def sucks to come home to an empty house, and eat dinner alone. We have a dog and cat which helps, ( i hate being alone at night, so the dog helps). Perhaphs gets a pet? lol

Anyhow, def use the time to catch up on shows you love, plan wedding stuff, and spend all your time on wedding bee!!!! at least its only 4 nights a week, and for 2 months! 

Post # 13
Member
7262 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

DH works 7Pm-7am 4 days a week. Before we were married, he worked 24 hour shifts. Honestly, it’s just something you get used to. On the nights that he’s not home, I watch tv shows he hates and I take up the whole bed! Instead of focusing on the time he’s away, think about how he gets to be home for 4 days.

Post # 14
Member
1007 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

My husband leaves for work as I am getting from work. He is home two nights a week that vary from week to week. He has been workibg this schedule for a couple years now, and I guess I have “gotten used to it”, but I still find it tough. I mainly do a lot of reading bc i love reading. I typically throw sonething in the crock pot so that I’m not tempted to eat unhealthy (I hate cooking for just myself). My dogs also help with the loneliness. 

Post # 15
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

DH works nights and, when he started, I thought it was going to be terrible and I would be lonely and just all around major suckage.

 

But, you know what?  I sortakindalove it. 😛  Now, granted, he was unemployed for over a year.  So he was in a major funk, always home, etc, and we were constantly on one another nerves.  I think it’s true what they say about abscence making the heart grow fonder, because it’s been really good for us.  And I get the entire bed to myself  four nights a week.  And that is awesome.

 

Now, I work 3-11pm on the days he works 11pm-7am.  So he’s just going in when I get off from work, then I go home and go to sleep pretty soon after.  His job is on the way home for me, so I’ll stop and see him, bring him a snack and catch up before going to the house.  Then I pick him up in the morning and we have breakfast before he goes to sleep for the day.  It does suck not being able to spend the day before I go into work together sometimes, but it’s a lot better than the alternative of him not working at all. And we have the same three days off, so that helps a lot, too.

 

What’s going to be an issue for us is when I have our baby in August.  It’s tough being quiet while he’s asleep because we live in a one bedroom tiny, tiny apartment and we’ve converted our “living room” into our bedroom so that the bedroom can be a nursery.  So there’s lots of tip toeing around and glares from me waking him 😛  So I’m not sure how we’re going to adjust sleeping schedules and baby care when the baby comes and then I go back to work.  We’ll have to see.

 

Post # 16
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

My FI works 3-11pm for a few months every now and then. It’s annoying bc I work 8-4pm. You will find a way to make it work, we always do. It’s annoying and draining. I get emotional if I go a long time without seeing each other. I just find things to do, spend time with my mom or girlfriends. It makes you appreciate your together

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