(Closed) Fiance but no cigar… :-/

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Empress0212:  Have you asked why he is so set on not making a decision? I think with a situation like this, you need to sit down and maybe start with a date. Once you get a date, talk about venue, then you can move onto the specific details. I would say, you asked me to marry you and I said yes.  Things have not changed for me, I still want to be your wife, I still want us to have that special day. Can we agree on how we want to get married, then maybe pick a day? If he says no, ask what has changed to make him not want a wedding. Maybe he has a grand idea of what the wedding should be, maybe he wants to elope, maybe he is happy just being engaged….either way, you need to talk to him.

Post # 4
Member
3170 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I would just be straight forward with him. Sit down with him and tell him that you need set plans for the wedding. It’s time to make it happen!

Post # 5
Member
3248 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

It sounds like he just agreed to go to the justice of the peace when you brought it up most recently. If he agreed to that plan, then, by the way most men operate, he’s assuming that’s what you’re going to do since you both agreed on it. –I find that most guys, when they say something like that, they mean it, and further discussion about whether it’s true or is really happening is baffling to them! Strange, I know. . .

Next thing to do– say, “since we agreed on going to a JP, let’s set a date. When should we do this? How about X day/holiday/month? I’d love to be married by X date.” Suggest concrete dates, or at least, a certain week/month/special day, and give a definite deadline by when you want to be married. Forgive me, but he sounds generally indecisive and maybe just needs to be given concrete choices and guidelines to be able to plan.

Good luck! Sounds like you have a lovely family together. 🙂

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