Post # 1
I had to come to you ladies asking a question that some of you might be able to help with. My scenario to begin with is complex and I just want to get other views on the situ.
So, I’ve been with my high school sweet heart for 8 years. Now we’ve been engaged since last April. I ended up getting pregnant weeks later. We talked about being getting married and how we want to get married numerous times. This is before we were engaged and after. But it always seemed like when I’d actual agree with him on a venue or anything pertaining to the wedding he’d change his decision. Kind of like this…I’d say, ” ok we can go to the justice of the peace instead of spending $5000 on a small wedding.” He’d say, ” Well that is kind of lame let’s get married in Puerto Rico.” It’s constant. I dont want to be like all over him but seriously i’ve been with him 8 years I should be able to have a nice wedding.
On the other hand, just recently I came to him asking what he thouht about going to JP and having a nice dinner party after at a really nice restaurant. He ok’d that but no other further talk on it. I don’t want to feel like im pressuring him, but why would it be pressure if he asked me to marry him?
Im so unsure what to do Ladies. I need some guidance on this because I really love this guy, and we have a beautiful daughter together. I dont want to jump into conclusions either.
Post # 3
@Empress0212: Have you asked why he is so set on not making a decision? I think with a situation like this, you need to sit down and maybe start with a date. Once you get a date, talk about venue, then you can move onto the specific details. I would say, you asked me to marry you and I said yes. Things have not changed for me, I still want to be your wife, I still want us to have that special day. Can we agree on how we want to get married, then maybe pick a day? If he says no, ask what has changed to make him not want a wedding. Maybe he has a grand idea of what the wedding should be, maybe he wants to elope, maybe he is happy just being engaged….either way, you need to talk to him.
Post # 4
I would just be straight forward with him. Sit down with him and tell him that you need set plans for the wedding. It’s time to make it happen!
Post # 5
It sounds like he just agreed to go to the justice of the peace when you brought it up most recently. If he agreed to that plan, then, by the way most men operate, he’s assuming that’s what you’re going to do since you both agreed on it. –I find that most guys, when they say something like that, they mean it, and further discussion about whether it’s true or is really happening is baffling to them! Strange, I know. . .
Next thing to do– say, “since we agreed on going to a JP, let’s set a date. When should we do this? How about X day/holiday/month? I’d love to be married by X date.” Suggest concrete dates, or at least, a certain week/month/special day, and give a definite deadline by when you want to be married. Forgive me, but he sounds generally indecisive and maybe just needs to be given concrete choices and guidelines to be able to plan.
Good luck! Sounds like you have a lovely family together. 🙂