(Closed) Fiance can't get off work to look @ reception venues…

posted 5 years ago in Venue
Post # 3
8533 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@MichiganGirl24:  does he want to be there or does he trust you and his mother’s opinion.

once you get a site visit, they usually hold the date for a week before you need to put the deposit down.

i say go visit a couple of sites.  when you narrow it down to 2 that you can’t make a decision between, then bring your Fiance to look at it before you book.


Post # 4
7200 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

If he is just going to say “I don’t care, what do you like?” like my Fiance did then just go without him. I’ve booked quite a bit of my wedding by myself because when I ask for his opinion he just tells me to do what I like. I will bring him in if I’m torn between a couple of things. Maybe you could go look today without him (and with FMIL) and if you are having problems deciding then he could take off of work farther down the road to take a look.

Post # 5
1042 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I had this problem with various vendors as well. At first it was the venue, then the caterer, etc. I go without Fiance, and take pictures and notes. It hasn’t been a problem for us at all.

If you guys have similar tastes, you should be able to go by yourself or with your FMIL. If he wants to be more involved, he could always call or email vendors.

Post # 6
1846 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’d just go with his mom. I’ve gone to lots of appointments without my Fiance when he has had to work, no big deal. He’s seen them and likes them from the pictures, so as long as you both have the same idea in mind for your wedding, i don’t see the problem.

Post # 7
806 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

yeah i agree with PP, look at them to narrow them down, maybe you can explain to the venue about the schedule and they can make an appt around 6pm-7pm, im sure if they want the money they can accomodate you to wait until he gets off work.

Post # 8
6328 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

@MichiganGirl24:  We had a similar issue; I work Saturday-Monday, OH works Monday-Friday; so, there were no days where we could both go together.

I ended up viewing our shortlist of 14 with my parents during the week. I took lots of photos, wrote detailed notes (we discounted lots of them straight away, there were only about 4 that were contenders), and then reported back to OH. He then came to my favourite one with me (still had about 4 to view at that stage), and loved it, so basically said that if I found anything better, to book it, otherwise, we should just book that. We ended up going with the one he loved; he saw 4 with me in total of the 14.

Could you do something like that, and go to the first viewing with his mum, then, if you’re unsure and want his opinion, see if you can organise a time to go together? Perhaps they might agree to a later appointment for eg?

Failing that, if he really can’t, just speak to him and see how he feels about you making the decision. You can do as I did and take photos, make notes, list pros and cons, then say which one you prefer and why. As you’re only looking at 2, I don’t think that would be such a bad way to approach it.

Post # 9
1670 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

We had decieded pretty much together on the venue online – we are planning an out of town wedding for us in my hometown. I met with the venue coordinator and asked a crap ton of questions. I reported back to him. The next day he went by to see it too (we were there on vacation) and they were closed, so he just poked around and looked in the window and gave me a thumbs up. Deal done.

Actually, 99% of our wedding planning is going to go like that. Me (and my mother) doing the legwork, presenting options to him, him saying he either 1. doesn’t care or 2. has an opinion and this is the one he likes best and then booking.

I think as long as you ask him what’s important to him before you go in so you can ask those questions, and he’s ok with it, it’s a fine way to do things.

Post # 11
9142 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@MichiganGirl24:  Go with Future Mother-In-Law and take pictures.  As long as your FH is okay with this, then there is no need to stress yourself out over him not being able to take the time off to look at venues.

Post # 12
5200 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

@MichiganGirl24:  I did everything without him. It’s not a big deal. Just keep him in the loop and don’t worry unless he really objects to something.

Post # 13
3733 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

If he doesn’t care either way, book it! 🙂

Post # 14
395 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Maybe take some video? If your phone has the capability to do video, I feel like this gives a more realistic view of the space. Or maybe during his lunchbreak (or a time when he can take a quick break) and facechat if you have an iPhone.

You should ask him what his priorities are and then make sure he is at those meetings. 

Post # 15
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

When we were planning the big wedding I just took tons of photos and brought my mama and Maid/Matron of Honor with me.  When I got down to my favorite ones and needed help deciding, I showed him the pics and we decided from there.  We ended up picking a place we both loved and he never saw it in person until we already put down the deposit. 

We didn’t end up using it for the wedding, but there’s cabins there and we still book one every now and then.  Turns out we found our favorite local getaway.

Post # 16
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I didn’t take my Fiance when I looked at venues, and it was totally fine.  No one even looked at me sideways, it’s perfectly normal for brides to take the lead. They let me take pics and message them to him, I don’t know any place that wouldn’t.

I ended up taking him to the top 2, which was pretty much a waste (except as validation of my taste – which I didn’t need).  So from now on, I’m just using him as tiebreaker and to go to catering tastings.  We both prefer it that way.  🙂

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