- 7 years ago
- Wedding: July 2011
Hello Hive. I have been following the hive since the first week I was engaged, in May of 2010. I have been w/ my fiance for almost 3 years, and I love him and our life with all my heart. He is one of the most generous, caring, and loving individuals I have ever met. Unfortunately, he went out on Friday night with some guys from work, drank way to much, and had sex with some random girl, in our truck in the parking lot of a bar. Disgusting. I know. He cannot handle drinking even a few beers, and, doesn’t usually drink at all. Ever. But, apparently, they were buying shots, etc., and before he knew it, he was too intoxicated. He admitted to cheating, openly telling me what happened. And then he had a total breakdown and sobbed and continuously apologized for hours. He told me that I am his everything, the best thing that has ever happened to him, and that he has never done anything so terrible in his whole life. He said he is ashamed, feels dirty (as he should) and just wished it never happend. He even got down on one knee, again, and asked me to be his wife. He begged me to put my engagement ring back on.
I have been cheated on before, twice, and both times, with both guys, I had hard evidence, proof in hand, of the cheating, and both guys still denied it. And, neither of those situations were random acts of drunkiness. They were both ongoing, for several months, with someone they knew and spent time with. Needless to say, I quickly left and got out of those relationships. And never looked back. This time, it’s different. I love my fiance so much, and, we have a great life together and have great plans for a family and future life together. However, I don’t know if I can forgive him and move on. I fear that I may hold some resentment against him, not be able to trust him, etc, and, I don’t want to be that girl. I don’t want to be the wife that no one likes because he’s not allowed to do anything or I “keep him on a short leash”…I have never been that person, and, I despise the whole thought of it. That is no way to have a relationship, and, definately no way to start a marriage.
Hive, I need your opinions. I cannot speak about this to anyone, not friends, not family, because I haven’t made a final decision on whether or not we will continue as a couple. Without that, I cannot get others I know personally to be involved, because they will pass judgement and form opinions that cannot be taken back. I don’t need that now. I need advice, words from people that have been through this type of situation…please, please don’t write me or post comments about what a douchebag he is right now. I’m fully aware.