(Closed) Fiance cheated with his ex a few months before wedding date

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 4
Member
786 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Don’t marry him, you said it all with “I don’t know if I can ever trust him again.”  A marriage/relationship can’t last if no trust exists.  So sorry he hurt you like this.

Post # 5
Member
4479 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

This wasn’t an “oops, I was drunk” cheating, this was an active form of cheating, especially since he continued to be in touch with her.  It’s blatant disrespect of you and your relationship. He does not seem like a man to be trusted.  If you stay with him, he’ll do it again.

 

Hugs, dear!  You deserve better than this.

Post # 6
Member
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

whatever you do don’t marry him

Post # 7
Member
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Get out! Now!

Post # 8
Member
578 posts
Busy bee

Oh my gosh, I am so sorry! The only silver lining that is possible in this situation is that you found out what he was really like before you married him. I would cut your losses and get the heck out of there. You are deserving of so much better treatment, not to mention that I personally would never want to raise my kids in an environment like that.

Having to cancel the wedding and lose all that money really sucks, but it’s a much better alternative than marrying a man who lies and cheats on you. 

cancel the wedding pronto. If he does want to prove it to you that he has changed and all that, then it will take a lot longer than a month anyways. 

 

Post # 9
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@fivemonthsnotice:  +1

 

you will find someone who will treat you right, he still isn’t even owning up to what he’s done (he says it was once the ex says it was more than once) I wouldn’t marry him & I would kick his ass to the curb. How would you ever be able to trust him again? :/ Sorry you are going through this. ((hugs))

Post # 10
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I’d leave in a heartbeat. How can you expect him to uphold his vow of lifelong faithfulness when he can’t even make it to your wedding without cheating?

*Hugs* This is never easy, but stay strong. He’s a jerk and that’s not your fault. Remember there’s a guy out there who will love you enough to be faithful

Post # 11
Member
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Marriage is all about TRUST. If you don’t have the trust, don’t make the mistake of marrying him. You’ll save yourself a lot of grief by cutting it off now, rather than AFTER you’re married.

Post # 12
Member
1309 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

At the very least postpone the wedding. That wouldn’t even be a full year of knowing him before you got married. Going fast like that works for some people but obviously you are not that couple. Slow down and if you feel like letting him try, make him put the time and work in.

Post # 13
Member
2607 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I agree that you should leave.  It’s much easier to get out now than the try getting out of an unfaithful marriage.  

Also, I am curious as to why he propsed so soon into your relationship if he wasn’t sure he loved you?  That is just a really, really odd statement.  Doesn’t one generally fall in love first and THEN propose?  

Post # 14
Member
1849 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

At the very least, postpone. I would completely suspend all planning and go to counseling to decide if you will even stay together. If you decide to work it out, give it time. Don’t set another date. Give it a year or two. If he’s worth spending the rest of your life with, at least sacrifice a couple of years to see whether you’re making a mistake. 

Edit: for the record I’d run faster than anyone has ever run before. I wouldn’t tolerate that shit, and I don’t even have kids. 

Post # 15
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

GTFO now. 

Post # 16
Member
492 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Don’t marry him. Easy peasy.

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