Post # 1
Hi Bees, feeling a bit gutted right now. My wedding dress is a poofy ballgown style (Cinderella 205, from Alfred Angelo’s Disney collection – pics on my previous posts). I have to wear it with a hoop, and I have a photo of me on my phone wearing just the hoop. I was looking through my photos earlier, not realising he was looking over my shoulder. Luckily he didnt see a picture of the actual dress, but he saw the photo of me wearing the hoop, and he said ‘Oh my god is that how big your dress is? Ooooh I hope not, you’ll look like those girls from Big Fat Gypsy Wedding, eurghhhh’ I told him I was just trying on loads of different hoops etc. But inside I was absolutely devastated that he thinks this, the wedding is 6 weeks away so no time to change my drerss (not that I would). Im so worried hes not going to like my dress. I know he would never tell me if he didnt, but now ill be thinking about it!<br /><br />Please reassure me! Has this happened to anyone else before??
Post # 2
1. He’s an idiot. 2. He will love what you look like in any dress because you are going to be his WIFE.
Post # 3
He’s a boy. His mind is just going to crazy places seeing that hoop. If he’s picturing big fat gypsy wedding then I’d say he has no real idea what’s coming. He’s going to think you look like a princess. Don’t worry at all!!!
Post # 4
ka0510: I can’t believe he said that!
I’ll be honest with you, I also hate big poofy dresses. But, and I mean this sincerely, I went to your previous post and you look AMAZING in your dress. It’s perfect for you! And I don’t even know you. So even if your FI hates big poofy dresses, he’s going to love you in yours.
Post # 5
I think it’s really important to look beautiful in your partner’s eyes as you walk down the aisle. Obviously he’d never tell you but doesn’t mean he isn’t thinking it. If you actually care what he thinks, you should have looked through catalogues wih him and gotten an idea of his preferences or even brought him along to pick it (the complete look is so different and at least you’d know he’d love it).
For something like this, it’s less important that I like it, that my friends do, or that my family does. I want him to! A lot of women just pick it on their own and that’s fine but they need to understand it might not be his preference (and maybe that doesn’t matter to them). It’s important you feel beautiful and if I were wearing something he didn’t like, I’d be self-conscious.
I think everyone will say, he will love it no matter what because it’s you! That makes no sense to me. I love my partner but I sure don’t love all his clothes or automatically think he looks amazing in everything. If I were you, I’d find out what his preference is or show him the picture of you in the dress as one you “considered” and see what he says.
It all depends if you want to take action or not. I would. That’s my honest advice and not just a placating response you want to hear. You only get (hopefully) one shot at this, you’re spending money on it, and it’s all about the two of you. I personally don’t like poof and while you have an AMAZING body, the dress is so big.
Post # 6
- Wedding: July 2014 - Prague
If you feel beautiful, you’re going to look beautiful. He will be so bowled over with love that the dress will be a non-issue!
Post # 7
i asked my fiance what kind of dress he would like to see on me and picked based on his idea we didnt look at pictures together or anything but he said simple and elegant and no poof No embellishments etc. either way you will look beautiful and its more about the meaning of the wedding than the dress you wear its your day you can wear whatever makes you feel beautiful!
Post # 8
ka0510: I just looked up your previous post and saw the dress. I think it’s beautiful! However, since now you KNOW what his preference is, is there any chance at all you could have it altered/re-hemmed to accommodate not wearing the hoop with it, taking some of the poof down a bit?
Post # 9
All men hate all wedding dresses. They would just as soon see u standing up there in jeans, as far as they r concerned. I’ve never known one groom to say oh I love ball gowns but hate mermaids. I wouldn’t worry about him knowing the style or thinking he doesn’t like it. When he’s up there in a suit or tux, he will be glad ur in a fancy dress. Plus he will appreciate the formal professional photos when the artistic style of the photog comes through. Plus u will look so beautiful coming down the aisle he will never remember thinking that about gypsys or anything else but how gorgeous u look in ur dress.
Post # 10
The dress is lovely and I think it’s exactly what YOU want with the hoop/poof. The hoop alone might have thrown him. IME, men generally prefer less fuss. He’ll likely think differently when he sees you in the dress with the hoop in its proper hidden place.
I’m wearing a ballgown without a hoop, so it’s less poofy, bordering on a-line. Your dress has a lot of volume, so I’m sure it would still look plenty ballgown/poofy without the hoop, if that is a possibility that would make you worry less.
At the end of the day, I’m sure he’ll just think you’re beautiful and be happy to be married.
Post # 11
You look stunning in that dress! Is there a way you could get a hoop that is a smidge smaller? Like one size? I think that might help a ton!
Post # 12
Although I understand where somethingblue is coming from, I lean more towards the side of thinking that he truly love whatever YOU’RE wearing, especially if you feel happy in it. (Besides, the real dress will be a lot poofier than a plain hoop skirt.) In my opinion the only reason to switch dresses (if you could afford it, you could still buy an off-the-rack sample at this point) would be if you are going to be self-conscious wearing the dress. If you are going to be self-conscious, you won’t have the glow and confidence that makes a bride gorgeous. So I would scale down the hoop a bit, see if you love yourself in it and are going to feel awesome in it, and go from there.
Another possibility (this is what I did) would be to wear your poofy dress just for the ceremony and dinner, and then switch into a slimmer dress for dancing. This doesn’t have to be expensive. I bought a bridesmaid’s dress and ordered it in white for the dancing part of my wedding. It was slim-fitting dress with a low back, so a simpler and sexier style, and it cost me all of $150 because it was technically a bridesmaid’s dress and not a wedding dress. So I would definitely consider that, maybe you could have fun in the ballgown that you love for half of the night and then show something of another style for the rest of the night.
Post # 13
I think when he sees you in it, he’ll be blown away and think you look gorgeous. Gypsy weddings will be far from his mind.
Post # 14
ka0510: Don’t worry. My friend got married a couple of years ago and showed her then-FI a pic of her dress in a joking way (along with many others) just to see what he thought, objectively. He hated it. He tore it apart and did not like any part of it. She was crushed and thought about getting a new dress. Everyone talked her out of it. She stuck to her dress and wore it down the aisle. And you know what? Her husband could not stop talking about how gorgeous she looked in the dress, how gorgeous the dress was, how amazing she looked, etc. She admitted to him a few days later that it was the same dress he had hated. He did not believe her until she pulled up the photo. He could not remember, and even then looking at it, he still could not believe he had called that dress ugly.
When it’s you, on the big day, walking down the aisle, your FI is going to think you are the most gorgeous person on the planet. He is going to be absolutley blown away by you. And that dress that you have is STUNNING!!! I have seen it in person a few years back and it was on my list of dresses to try on, but I never made it (selected an Allure instead). Try not to worry. Guys can be stupid and insensitive sometimes and don’t realize what they’re saying.
Post # 15
I do think you should look into losing the hoop and making it less poofy.