- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
This is so weird! Did your open house have free drinks and food? Who doesn't want to go to that? We are going to ours tonight and we are both pretty pumped. Just let him know that this is hurting you and this should be a fun time for both of you. I would just ask him to put more effort in for sure....
@Amy43026: yep free food and drinks! thanks alot! yea he knows its hurting me i let him know today.
@Amy43026: he was like well you said i didnt have to go to bridal shows and i thought that was a bridal show. but i clearly told him what it was and how i wanted him to go.other than that he didnt say anything about doing more. i honestly really limit the wedding stuff i discuss with him. but he kind of gets upset because he says im always doing wedding stuff. WTH. im suppose to be happy about wedding planning!
my fh is like this I usally take his mom to these things
Mabey some of his guy friends pounced on him for being "too" in to the wedding planning? I know Our co- workers pounced on Fi, so we told them that I am MAKING him go... where as tits closer to hes MAKING ME go... but we're lying so he can keep his man cards. lol
I know it can be fustrating but I think of it like this if I bring him he is only going to be irritating and ask if we can leave every two secondsit gives me time to spend with my fmil or my moh.
My dude only wants to be in on the final decision. He doesn't want to tour lots of venues, he wants to check out the one or two I like the most and decide from there. Same with food. Neither of us really care about decor so who knows what will happen with that. And I am perfectly capable of hunting down his family's addresses on my own--it's easier if I do it anyway.
The point is that the wedding--I am not talking about getting married, I mean the party aspect--is not exciting to him. You can't make him get into it and forcing him or getting pissed off at him is only going to make it worse. It will turn this thing that is supposed to be a happy occasion into a bone of contention.
My advice is to lay off for a week or two about the wedding--you take a break too! Make him dinner or go out on a date and then calmly, rationally tell him how you feel. Don't get mad or lecture. Just say "Hey honey, I know you're not interested in the wedding but it really hurts me when you say you don't want to do anything at all. I feel like I am doing this alone and I would love your help and input sometimes. I know it's not exciting to you but it would mean the world to me if you would help out." Pick a few things--like food tasting, DJ selection, wedding cake--that you want him to have a hand in. Those are mostly fun things that directly affect him the day of so he should be on board witht that. Take on the decor, rentals and all that on your own.
As for getting addresses--talk to his mom and get as many as you can. Then use those to get the other ones you need--offer to help her email/call people also. It's a freaking annoying thing to do, tracking down a ton of addresses. I'd avoid doing it too.
Ya know what, just swing it around and if it makes you happy, get it or agree to that particular food! My fiancé doesn't have involvement in much Neil I ask him. If he has an opinion, he lets me know and if he leaves it up to me, I'll have my choice, share it or show it to him and get his opinion back. For instance... He didn't like our original favors idea so we changed them when he agreed on something that I really dig! Buttt... He had no care in the world about centerpieces, attire, etc... He just told me the colors that he liked and didn't like although our wedding is black and white fr the most part! We aren't doing taste testing, our friend works for the venue and we've heard amazing things about the food, so we are each picking out dishes that we like :) you just have to present it in a different way, like don't get mad, just make sure that he knows that you don't want to burden him with anything but you will make the final choices if that's okay with him and ask if he'd rather be give options before final choices are selected! My guy loves to be involved in saying yay or nay, like he has the final say... It's perfect!
Ooh ps... We've agreed that I am handling all wedding matters and he is in charge of all things honeymoon! We won't be going too far from home because we have a two year old son, but well be about 3-6 hours away, driving wise :) good luck!
@zomgwut:Thanks alot! yes i was in a depressed mood so we talked about it more today. Yesterday i put away all my wedding stuff and i didnt wear my ring. So he felt bad about it. He admitted today that hes been raining on my wedding parade. He said hes excited about the wedding sometimes but not all the time like me lol. Which i understood because hes a guy. guys dont dream about their wedding, they dont draw their tux when theyre kids like we draw our dresses and such! I just dont expect him to shut out of everything! He said he just doesnt want it to tear us apart because thats what our arguments have been based on lately...wedding stuff. So i told him i would slow down on the wedding stuff but he has to understand this stuff takes months of planning. not all done the month of the wedding!
So thank you bees for listening (reading) lol
I say LUCKY YOU. Planned my whole first wedding with literally ZERO HELP FROM ANYONE, he even lamented the few errands we needed done on the last 2 days before leaving. (one trip to Kinkos, one trip to a calligrapher).
Now I've got help, and I've been talked out of white cake (my lifelong wish) and am now having carrot cake AND Red Velvet...now I'm just letting go...
I'd say breathe a sigh of relief and pretend your husband is working in Hong Kong until the wedding 
So sorry lady, it seems that some guys just do not have the same anticipation that we would. I just had this conversation with my guy about the same thing and what I have determined is that I am just going to plan everything with options and have him choose. Easier on me and easier on him. It would be nice though as you said to have the help and share in teh fun of planning your lives together.
My FI is similarly over stuff. In the end, I know he just wants to be my husband already, so I am taking this sometimes fun, sometimes awful burden on myself. I think it will be ok without is input into everything.
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| ticatica | 13 |
| fivemonthsnotice | 12 |
| MrsOliveBird | 11 |
| aussiebee | 10 |
| janetsnakehole | 8 |
| Scottish_lassie | 7 |
| GelaMac | 6 |
| j_jaye | 5 |
| MrsMSmith | 5 |
| Rivendeler | 5 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| MrsOliveBird | 1 |
| miss_blondie86 | 1 |
| Dizbee | 1 |
 happyface |
1 |
| KellyLouise | 1 |
| louiseW | 1 |
Ok, this is getting old! very old! At first when we were wedding planning he was so helpful. We picked out our songs together, we made our guest list, we went and looked at venues. Booked our Venue together. AND THEN, couple months go by and hes like ....UUUGH YOU CAN DO ALL OF IT. ok thats understandable, i dont expect him to go to the bridal shows and stuff but COM'N MAN!!!!
I went to an open house our Venue hosted to see the vendors they work with and the decoration options and he didnt want to come. SOOOOOO, i was the only bride there without their SO. Ive been trying to send our STD'S out but he procrastinates on getting the addresses i need. we went over the list the other day and hes like really none of these extra people have to be there as long as his immediate family is there. COM'N MAN. THATS BS. i strickly have on our website and ive told him and his mom. if they are not accounted for via RSVP THEY WILL NOT BE ALLOWED TO COME.
ON TOP OF THAT.... this morning i told him. We have a taste testing appointment set soon, hes like i dont want to go. he just wants to show up and have the food at the wedding. HELLO, we are suppose to do this TOGETHER. FEELS LIKE IM MARRYING MY DAMN SELF!
OPINIONS.....ADVICE BEES!