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Well Bees fiance does not want to wear a wedding ring, he is always working on his cars and is worried it will get ruined doing an oil change or just get in the way of working on it. However he also thinks that he will NEVER get used to wearing a ring!
His solution is to buy a ring for the ceremony and then after the honeymoon he wants to go get a tattoo of my initial (M) on his ring finger and stop wearing the ring completely. Mind you he has no other tattoos and I'm not exactly loving the idea. Maybe it's because of my initial being an M and he would have it facing out so to him it would look like a W but to everyone else a M. I know typically getting a person's name tattooed on your body is pretty taboo and bad luck but what does everyone think of just the initial?
What about getting 2 rings for him?
A stainless steel ring for while he's working, and the nicer one for when he's not.
That way if something does happen to the less expensive ring, it won't break the bank to replace.
I don't really love the tattoo idea.
I would just get an inexpensive ring so that it isn't a big deal if something happens to it. He will get used to wearing it...
Wedding band tattoos have become super popular: http://www.google.ca/images?q=wedding%20band%20tattoos&um=1&ie=UTF-8&source=og&sa=N&hl=en&tab=wi&biw=1024&bih=499
That is just the google search link. Have a look around.
Also Titanium and Tungsten are very strong metals that have become very popular for wedding bands. He should go down to a jewlery store and at least have a look at them and try them on. I know FI was iffy on the idea until he went down, asked questions and tried things on. He works with his hands a lot so it was important to get something he would like.
I mean ultimately it is his body and he knows what he is going to feel comfortable doing. Really you can only guide him into making the decision he wants to make.
Mine tried saying he's never liked wearing rings and finds them uncomfortable. Funny, so do I, and I never wear rings as accessories, but I still wear my GD engagement ring and will wear my band! It's not about comfort, it's about respect, and he's wearing one. My FMIL told me his dad said the same thing; when she and FFIL got married he said, "I'd just as soon not wear a ring," and she said, "Then I'd just as soon not marry you." LOL.
Tell him to take it off while working on cars and put it back on afterward. No man ever died of discomfort from wearing a ring!
I think he'd get used to a ring. My dad hasn't taken off his wedding ring in 40+ years of marriage. It's a gold ring that belonged to his father and it's still fine through decades of oil changes, home rehabs, racquetball games, etc. (my father is VERY active and a do-it-himselfer).
I don't love the tattoo idea either. A ring tattoo is one thing but just an initial is odd IMO.
FI is not able to wear his ring at work. He wants to get it tattooed because he has a dangerous job and "would hate to die without my ring on"
Seriously. Morbid, much?
when he is working just have him leave the ring at home. and when yall go out that is when he should wear the ring.
Is the reason he doesn't want to wear the ring bc it will get dirty and possibly scratched? Or because it could be dangerous? My FI works in construction and with a metal band around his finger there is a possibility that it could get caught on something and he could loose his finger. (eek!) So to avoid that he got a tattoo & we got him a band which he will wear on weekends or when he is not working.
The tattoo on his finger is of an anchor. We have a sailboat so the nautical theme fit for him. I will say however that FI has many other tattoos also so the one on his finger isn't out of place.
We got my husband a tungsen ring which is pretty cheap and very indestructable. He wasn't too keen on wearing it but ever since the wedding he hardly takes it off.
@KatNYC2011: He wouldn't go for 2 rings at all, althought it's a good idea!
@sceeder: I really like the look of Titanium and Tungsten and so does he actually when we did look at rings for him. He's got sausage fingers so I don't know if the jewelery store would have his size in stock to try anything on but it's worth a shot!
@ohheavenlyday: I'll try telling him that!! Knock some sense into him
@FallBride2B: If they had my FI's small girlish size, I am sure they can find something for your guy, for ordering that is. ;) Nothing quite fit my FI at the jewlery store, he is a size 5 but I think it was the chance just to see them, feel them and ask questions that made him feel ok getting a ring.
My husband is a car guy. A painter, to be exact. He also does body work. He leaves his ring in his car when he goes into work or puts it in his pocket. When he's done he puts his ring on.
If he is expecting you to wear your wedding band, then he should be prepared to do the same.
@caszos: my husband did the same thing!
Tungsten rings are pretty durable and would stand up to the test of him working on cars. Is there an option of him getting a ring tattooed on his finger rather than just an M? That way, it actually looks like a ring.
I just wouldn't be comfortable with my husband not wearing a ring at all.
@FallBride2B: WHat about instead of your initial, he gets a tattoo of an actual band? That's what my FI is doing- we bought him an inexpensive tungsten ring for the ceremony & he plans to get the tattoo on our honeymoon. I am completely fine with this, actually like the idea alot because he can't take it off! I'll wear my rings, but I'm debating getting his name or our wedding date tattooed to the underside of my ring finger....
@rachgirl82: I actually just looked up pictures of this! I don't mind it as much as the initial idea. I'll have to mention it to him
@FallBride2B: I wouldn't force him to wear a ring he doesn't want to wear. If he wants to get a tattoo then he should get one. It's his body. Some men just aren't jewelery people and I think we have to remember that just because he's doesn't want to wear it doesn't mean that he's not serious about the marriage.
Plus, you don't want to have his ring get caught on something and end up ripping his finger off. A lot of guys in construction wear rubber rings. Maybe you should look into that.
I just edited the poll to add the wedding band tattoo idea too! Thanks ladies
my hubby said something similar before the wedding... now he actually likes wearing his and won't go anywhere without it. But, because he was worried about losing or ruining his wedding ring... I bought him two identical tungsten-carbide rings. Not only could he not scratch it, but if he lost it... he had a backup. :)
Because my dad worked with metal and machinery a lot, he got a wedding band but only wore it on special occassions, like their anniversary or if they went out for dinner or something. He never wore it when he was working because he was afraid it would get caught in a moving piece of machinery and would rip his finger off.
I suggest getting a ring for you FI and have him do the same: not wear it when it's dangerous but wear it on special occassions.
My husband can't wear his ring at work either. He leaves it at home when he works and puts it on when he is not. But to be honest, I think he would rather not wear it at all, but that was not an option :-)
My FI is a police officer, and doesn't want people that he's arresting, pulling over, etc. to know that he's married. He'd just hate for people to get mad and find out where he lives to hurt his family. Scary much?
So he'll just wear his when he's not at work. Supermarket, out to dinner, etc.
DH doesnt wear his ring at work either. He works with explosives and electrical stuff, so it would be a bad idea for him. He thought it would be stupid to get him ar ring too, but he just wear it on a chain around his neck at work and then puts it on at home and on the weekends.
For him it's not a matter of not wearing it to work, as he is not a police officer, construction worker, etc. He's worried about it when he's working on his cars, but when he does major things to any of them usually his brother is there with him helping so it's not like he would get his finger stuck because of the ring and have no way out. He could take it off when he's working on his cars but I think he just doesn't want a ring :(
@sceeder: My husband has a tungstun ring - he has the biggest fingers I've ever seen (seriously it's ridiculous) - I ordered his online for around $100. He just got a plain comfort-fit band. He never wore rings before but he's gotten used to it.
Tell him you want him to wear the ring when he's not working on the cars. If he wants to get a tattoo that would be underneath it (and show up when he wasn't wearing it) then that's cool but I would still want him to wear his ring the rest of the time. Plus he can put it on a chain if he's worried about losing it when he takes it off.
@FallBride2B: Have you gone ring shopping yet? I think you would be surprised about how excited the grooms get. My FI was totally against getting a ring at first, but then we went shopping and he was like a kid in a candy shop.
I doubt it's that he doesn't want to wear it...I'm sure it just seems weird that he will have a new 'thing' on his finger all the time now.
My husband works on cars too. I just have him take it off when he goes in the garage, simple as that. Occasionally, he works in a plant where he can't wear a ring and I have him leave it at home then too.
His ring is tungsten with a carbon inlay. The carbon has been chipped but the tungsten is fine (the inlay isn't covered by the indestructible warranty).
I think I would flip shiz if FI didn't want to wear a ring. Just order him a ring that is fairly indestructable (like tungsten, etc) and then make a special place for him to put it when he does dirty work (like a little coin box on your dresser, etc). My FI has never worn any jewellery of any kind, so we got him a comfort fit. It will take some getting used to, but he will live!
Several things: 1) my mom thinks it's weird that all men wear rings now. When she got married (way back in the 70's :) ) Men generally did not wear rings except for special occasions and anniversaries and stuff.
2)FH probably hasn't worn a ring before and imagines he won't like it. I had the same concerns when i got engaged, since I don't wear jewelry. I was sure I would hate it, but now I don't even notice it.
3) My FH is paranoidly afraid of either the ring getting stuck on his finger or it getting caught on machinery. I don't care if he wears a ring or not, but he thinks it is important to have one he likes/WOULD wear. So our plan is to get him a lovely bentwood one. There are several vendors on etsy that sell nice ones. Maybe that would be a non-worrying compromise for him? So if it does get caught, it wouldn't be a big issue to replace.
My FI did not think that he would get used to wearing a ring either, as he has never worn any jewelry. However, I bought him a Claddagh ring for his birthday and he barely ever takes it off now. He said he doesn't even notice it anymore. I think rings are just something you get used to over time.
We are also going with an inexpensive tungsten band for FI. He is worried about losing it, and found one that he really likes so it seems like a good option. They are also very strong. If you aren't spending a ton of money on it, hopefully, he won't feel bad if it scratches it.
If he doesn't want to wear a ring, I would accept it; he doesn't have to. But I don't think a tattoo is a replacement for a ring.
@FallBride2B: My husband is a painter, so he doesnt wear his rong to work either (in case it gets caught etc). So he simply does not wear it to work but then wears it in the evening....
My dad worked in the bush for years and wore his ring everyday..until he lost it out there...so i wouldnt recommend he wears a ring.
If i were him i would just wear nothing at work and then wear the ring when home...plain and simple! :)
ALSO....my good friend, her husband didnt want to wear a ring either...and he just works on cimputers! he felt he couldnt get used to it etc. She was pretty crushed so he wore it on a neckalce for awhile but now he wears it on his finger everyday!!! I think they just need to get used to it!
He doesn't have to wear one, then you don't have to wear one. See how he feels about that.
I think a wedding band tattoo would be awesome! I agree about the initial being tough since it looks different from different angles. Maybe he can work in something else that's meaningful to you two into the tattoo.
My fiance can't wear his ring to work, he has a very laborous job. If he only wears it on special occasions, I am a-ok with that. The ring is a nice symbol of his commitment, but the commitment itself is much more important to me that a piece of jewelry. I know he's committed and that's all I care about.
I think a ring is important. If he doesn't want to wear it, would he consider wearing it around his neck? (Just an idea.) If he is not into that, I would say- as others have said- to get a band that can get beat up (even a silver band) and then a nice one that he actually cares about for when he isn't working. But generally, I would just have him take it off while working.
If he still isn't into that, I think tattoo of the wedding band would be the next best idea.
I would rather my FH not wear his band doing dirty work. I have no problems with him not wearing it to work or doing yardwork and such. I don't wear my engagement ring 24/7 and neither of us has an issue with it.
I do like the idea of a tattooed wedding band.. i would do that if I couldn't wear a ring and have him wear a band when he's not working.
We bought my husband 4 identical, cheap tungsten rings from amazon, because he he was afraid that he'd ruin or lose it (he's a chef). I do all sorts of things that I can't wear my ring while doing, and it's no big deal....I just take it off.
I would recommend buying a cheap, easily replacable ring and just having him try wearing it for a few months. If he hates it, then he can get a tatoo. But I think he sould give the ring a try first
Yea i say get him a ring and he can take it off to work
@FallBride2B: My fiance never wanted to wear a ring either. Probably because his father, who has been married for 27 years never wore a ring. Once we started looking for one he grew more accustomed to the idea and now he has started wearing it to bed at night leading up to the wedding to, as he says..."get used to it".
Maybe if you explain how important it is to you because of what it symbolizes he'll change his mind.
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