Fiance going away for 5 weeks – feeling sad.

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
795 posts
Busy bee

@Peekaboo:  totally understand. My SO and I were literally together every minute possible, even showering together every night lol. We recently had to be apart for over TWO WEEKS. Now we are apart one week out of every month due to my work. Here’s what I did with the two week period (and you have 5 to work with!) I used that time to change myself for the better. Work out like a maniac, eat healthy, lose a few pounds and tone up. That way, it felt like a build up to a really fun surprise! It helped me a lot. Also, get fixed up for FaceTime dates! You’ll go through periods of depression, it’s Normal. I cried for no reason for the first few days. It sucks, but you will get through it and be stronger. 🙂 

Post # 4
Member
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Peekaboo:  I got married on the 6th of October and just had to leave my new husband in Germany with his new job while I came back home to Scotland. I won’t be moving out to join him until the 14th of December, so it’ll be about 6 weeks we won’t be seeing each other. It sucks but I’m just trying to make the most of the time I have on my own. There are perks such as being able to hog the bed, the hot water and go out/do whatever I feel like without having to let him know first. I miss him but we’ve just got to make the most of it. The five weeks will fly by I’m sure. My first week alone just disappeared! Try not to dwell on it and remember how lucky you are just to have him 🙂

Post # 5
Member
8425 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Peekaboo:  *HUGS* My husband and I are very attached to each other, so I completely understand the feeling.  One thing that helps my husband and I when we’re away from each other is we treat ourselves to something nice at the end of each week.  That way we have a few little things to look forward to as we count down the time.

Post # 6
Member
845 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Peekaboo:  My DH and I spent 4-6 weeks apart, the 4-6 weeks together over and over for a little over a year when I first moved for grad school and he had work commitments to attend to. It was hard, but we made sure to have video chat appointments nearly every day. Sometimes we didn’t have anything special to talk about, but we’d just leave the camera on while we were going about our business. It helped us feel more connected. 

I had to force myself at times to have a good attitude. It helped to make plans for myself while he was away and to make plans together for once he got back. It was super hard  for us both if I was down in the dumps and I’m sure it made my DH feel bad, since it was beyond his control. 

Post # 7
Member
535 posts
Busy bee

@Peekaboo:  I know how you feel..my FI and I are attached at the hip when he’s here but, being that he’s in the military, sometimes we have to go weeks/months apart. Just plan something special for when he gets back and look forward to him getting back 🙂

Post # 9
Member
1500 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Peekaboo:  It is hard!

 

DH and I were long distance for most of our relationship. The longest we’d been apart had been 3 months when he was studying abroad. We JUSt got married and he is now on 3 separate business trips that total 41 days of being apart. Just because I have done long distance doesn’t make it any easier.

 

However, I think you will benefit more from knowing how to be by yourself – but not be lonely.

 

Whenever DH is gone I schedule a meetup with a friend eaach day for breakfast, lunch or dinner. I live in NYC which helps because it’s such a social city. I also work out more, am perfecting recipes, and am finishing personal projects I haven’t been able to focus on. 

 

Also, depending on your husband’s work, schedule Skype chats regularly! My DH goes off to places where you won’t find internet so it’s hard, but try to make it happen regularly.

 

Drop hints from your DH that you’d appreciate certain long distance gestures. For me it’s him sending cards, flowers, and funny emails. Also, don’t let your imagination get the best of you – believe that nothing bad will happen and don’t worry too much. Worrying is not going to help. Just help him be as prepared as he can be!

 

Good luck!

Post # 10
Member
30 posts
Newbee

@Peekaboo:  Hey, stop trying to minimize how you feel just because other people go even longer without seeing their SO. Being away from each other for 5 weeks is gonna be really, so it’s ok to feel down about it.

SO and I have been together for 9 years and 4 months, and the longest we’ve ever been apart all at once was 8 days. Talking on the phone didn’t help all that much but Facetiming helped a ton. Facetime is like Skype. Seeing each other when you’re talking really took the ache out of my heart.

 

Post # 13
Member
1500 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Peekaboo:  Yay! what a great update! Keep it up! My DH is leaving for two weeks (again) starting tomorrow but it’s getting a little easier over time. Oh, and another fun thing you should do – plan for an AMAZING date night the night he comes back (or maybe wait 2 nights if he has jet lag or potential delayed flight). It’s a great way to have something to look forward to!

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