Post # 1
i completely trust my future husband… And was completely cool with the idea of him going to a strip club until he left…
I hate the idea!! I have worked in a strip club!! I know that a lap dance is sex with your clothes on!
I can’t even watch porn or dance with another guy because I am so in love with him..
I do not think it is fair..
Are my feelings on this wrong?
How do you feel??
Post # 3
I am confused…. you “knew” what a lap dance was and were completely cool with it before he went. Now you are not that he went…. and you don’t think its fair.
Um….were you really cool with it or not???
Post # 4
Here we go again.. lol the age old debate.
Your feelings aren’t wrong, they’re just your feelings. They are as valid as anybody else’s. The Bees should know this, your fiance should know this, your family and friends should know this. If you feel a certain way, tell him! If he is already there right now, there’s not a whole lot you can do except guilt trip him after the fact. Maybe just explain to him how your feelings evolved on the idea (you weren’t expecting to be so upset) and although that’s not his fault you’d appreciate if he wouldn’t do it again (if that’s how you feel, that is.)
Post # 5
- Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo
@sablemuse: love this answer. It’s not strange for your feelings to have changed.. you trust him and you were cool with it, but now it just doesn’t feel right to you. That is perfectly fine and normal!
FWIW, I love and trust my FI too, but I can’t stand the thought of him in a strip club. And he respects that and stays out of them (not that he has a ton of opportunities to go?).
Post # 6
Oh oh is this that same person that comes on and posts all that stripper stuff or is this a real person…?
Post # 7
I also love and trust my FI but am not ok with him going to a strip club. And he doesn’t like strip clubs, and never wants to go to one
Post # 8
@sablemuse: I don’t think it is very fair to guilt trip him after she gave her blessing to go in the first place but changed her mind once he was there! Taht is not a very healthy attitude to have towards a relationship!
Post # 9
@j_jaye: Umm nobody said to guilt trip him… lol
Post # 10
@sablemuse: If you feel a certain way, tell him! If he is already there right now, there’s not a whole lot you can do except guilt trip him after the fact.
Umm you did!
Post # 11
@j_jaye: Obviously you’re reading the emphasis on my statement incorrectly. What I meant was that if he’s already there there’s not a lot of things to say that won’t guilt trip him, so maybe she can follow my advice on the next line explaining how to phrase it so that it’s not making him feel guilty (you know the part about “although it’s not his fault”)
Post # 12
Edit: I re-read the original post, and judging by the wording @mrsbruff2b: you’re probably right.
Post # 13
Do not engage. This person has ONE post … and the tone of the post just sounds like baiting to me. *shrug*
Post # 14
I am just getting back on since posting this question a week ago.
Ill start from the bottom and work my way up trying to respond to each person.
Thanks everyone for your input! It did help!
@mrsbruff2b I am a real person. I apologize that I only have one question.
Not sure what baiting is, but I wasn’t doing it.
@savlemuse I am glad through the negative feedback at least one person understood what I was saying. These rough feelings just kind of evolved after he left.
I was okay with it. Or at least I thought I was. Until he left and I was sitting at home alone and started thinking.
@elysion we talked about the strip club and he said he wouldn’t be back for a while. Not to mention, it’s not like it’s a normal habit. This is the second time hewas went in the three years we have been together. An the closest one is 2 hrs away!! He went and even drove home after instead of getting a hotel as planned. He only had a few beers, and literally spent three dollars all night. Which doesn’t say much. I’m sure his friends paid a lot for him. But heoh ad only had a few beers and was good to drive home after.
Needless to say, coming straight home after without being drunk made mefeel a whole lot better. I still don’t like strip Luba though. And hopefully this will be the last one for a while!
The wedding is in 3 days!!!
Thanks everyone for your input!