fiance & I are not having bridesmaids or groomsmen

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
274 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I’m not having bridesmaids or groomsmen either. All of my good friends live in different countries / continents and my wedding is going to be in my home country. I just feel like the coordination will be such a hassle and I also like the appeal of a small, intimate wedding where the main focus is the union between my FI and me. I might have a flower girl or ring bearer but definitely not the big bridal party. I know my friends will find it strange and probably will make a comment or two. My family won’t give a damn – they’re not into big weddings anyways.

Post # 3
Member
1734 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1998

I didn’t have a wedding party (my wedding was a year ago). We DID have a ring bearer. Long before we got engaged, we had talked about the possibility of having a wedding party…when the time came I saw no reason at all to have one. It adds more complication and stress. It also validates people into thinking that it’s “their” wedding too, and that they have a right to voice their opinions at all times.

Seeing that I would likely have to choose BOTH of my sisters-in-law (I can’t stand either one; my brother’s wife just stares at you and says nothing most of the time. The rest of the time, she’s a bitch. My husband’s sister is a know-it-all. I DEFINITELY didn’t want a know-it-all in the wedding party), it made the decision very easy.

I only had my mother-in-law bring it up a few times. *Every* time I answered that we weren’t having a wedding party, she acted shocked….to the extent that she called my husband privately and wanted to know why. Seeing that drama was stirring, I e-mailed my husband’s sister and explained my OTHER reasons for not having a wedding party (completely omitting the fact that, well…I don’t like her and didn’t want to put up with her crap). Her response was very positive. That side of the family treats her like she’s a precious wittle bitty baby, so it’s no surprise that everyone else was taking offense –for– her.

If they keep bringing it up, OP, you leave the room/end the conversation/etc., but not before first saying, “We’ve talked about this over and over again. I’m not going to talk about it anymore. What’s going on with (blank)?” Make one attempt to change the conversation, and then start training these people.

The difficult part is that money has changed hands in your wedding — which also makes people feel entitled to voice their opinions. is it possible to return the money? If it means more aggravation and hassle, I don’t see it as worth it.

Post # 5
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

We didn’t have a bridal party either.  SO much easier! lol  I didn’t want to include SIL (my brother’s wife, not my husbands sister – I actually like her 🙂 ) and my husband didn’t want to chose between friends to be his best man so we just didn’t have anyone stand with us.  Felt like it was more about us getting married up there than a big show with 19 bridesmaids, ya know?

Post # 7
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

MellyB89:  Yep.  We didn’t want a bunch of “seat fillers” either.  We had about 40 guests, all close family and a few friends.  We just wanted simple and low key.  Good luck with everything!

Post # 8
Member
1904 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - TTC #2

I’m not having anyone stand up with us at all 🙂 Luckily I haven’t had a single comment so far.

Post # 9
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

We are also not having bridesmaids and groomsmen for our 4 October 2014 wedding. If there’s one day I’m going to be very selfish is this one. It’ll only be about us no one else. 

Our wedding is not that small (120). We r having a FG & RB though. Only because we want our son to play a very significant role.

Post # 11
Member
11 posts
Newbee

just remember you have to have two witnesses willing to sign your marriage certificate. its your wedding, donas you please.  

Post # 12
Member
11 posts
Newbee

just remember you have to have two witnesses willing to sign your marriage certificate. its your wedding, do as you please.  

Post # 13
Member
46 posts
Newbee

I’m not having a wedding party either. Our mothers are going to be our witnesses. It just seems so much easier that way. 

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