(Closed) Fiance invited to friend’s wedding without me?!

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
941 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

i would feel weird about going now too. it’s inappropriate and even though you shouldn’t take it personal, i can understand why you would feel offended.

so if you are just getting this invite, is the wedding after yours? 

Post # 4
Member
2775 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Very inappropriate, indeed.  Married and engaged couples are social units and must be invited to social events together.  I’d decline any wedding invitation that didn’t include my husband.

Post # 5
Member
13102 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think it is completely inappropriate of them to not invite you with your FI.  If you two were just dating long-term then I could kind of understand capacity issues (but still wouldn’t agree ith excluding someone’s long-term SO).  Engaged and married couples are a package deal and if one is invited the other ought to be included.

Just go and try to have a good time!  I’m sure your FI will enjoy getting to see his old friends and will be glad to have you by his side.

Post # 6
Member
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010 - Ladder 15 Restaurant

I mean, I know from reading the ‘Bee that a lot of couples have issues in regards to over-capacity, but that’s inappropriate, I agree.  They of all people should know that being engaged means that you’re a team, and an invitation to both of you is warranted. 

Try to still go and have fun–it will be nice for your fi to catch up with old friends, so try to support him even though it is under awkward circumstances!  Good luck!

Post # 7
Member
1079 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Go and have a good time. No one will know the bride was rude and didn’t really invite you.

Post # 8
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

That sucks. Engagement = 2 invites.

They shouldn’t just invited him alone – that’s extremely rude. That “try to make it work” line is ridiculous. What if you only invited the groom to your all’s wedding? Wouldn’t they have a problem with that?? I count engaged couples the same as married couples.

Even if I was having a tiny wedding and one of my guests was engaged to someone I didn’t even know, they would STILL get a +1. Good for him for declining the invite without you.

Post # 9
Member
5902 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

haha you should invite just the guy to your wedding, not his wife.  that would get the point across.

Post # 10
Member
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

The +1 topic is usually divided among longterm couples, boyfriend/girlfriend, living together, etc. but engaged and married couples should have been a no brainer!

Post # 11
Member
612 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Meh, personally I think they are being extremely rude, but I would just let him go alone. If they don’t want me there anyway I would feel a little embarassed to go…like I was inviting myself or something.

Man oh man that couple needs a lesson in politeness though! Give them a small gift. 😉

Post # 12
Hostess
13662 posts
Honey Beekeeper

My FI was recently invited to a wedding, and I too was excluded. He refused to go without me, and the couple refused to include me based on “space,” so my FI didn’t attend. I’m glad he stood up for me and made a point that it is completely inappropriate to only invited half of an engaged couple!

@Mrs. Meowerson: Haha! Good idea.

Post # 13
Member
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Oh my god, that would piss me off too! I would still probably go anyway, because, as someone already pointed out, no one will know you weren’t originally invited. You’ll get a chance to meet his old friends, and get a free dinner 🙂

I just can’t believe that someone wouldn’t give a plus one for their FIANCE. Geez.

Post # 14
Member
5496 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2010

That’s totally wrong! I would be upset too. Just go and support your FI and his friends and enjoy the free dinner, dancing and try to have fun. But you are totally right to feel slighted. I would too!

Post # 15
Member
1667 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I am a vindictive person when I am mad. My reaction? i wouldn’t go to the wedding and then for YOUR wedding just invite the college friend and not his new wife. See how he likes his own “we’ll make it work” medicine. . . (I am mad for you!)

Post # 16
Member
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Very bad taste. If I were in your position, I wouldn’t be attending their wedding because they clealry didn’t want me there.

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