- 6 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
As this is my first post I would like to very briefly introduce myself and give a little background to this call for help from other sucessful gamer fiancee’s and wives.
I actually met my Dear Fiance on Match over 2 years ago and after hitting it off, falling in love, living together -we grew to understand more and more about eachother, our wants/needs as individuals and as a couple and recently he asked me to marry him and we are tying the knot in less than 10 weeks!
Something that has typically not been a huge issue in our household has been my fiance’s gaming. I honestly do not mind that he games for a few hours every day, as he has expressed that this is something he enjoys as I enjoy reading my trashy novels. 😉
The majority of how we operate on a daily basis is as follows:
I work at a fairly stressful Interior Design firm in Los Angeles -days ranging anywhere from 10 hours to 14 hours on average M-F and some hours every weekend and I do enjoy coming home with a good book, a good TV show and a glass of wine. My Dear Fiance works in the Entertainment Industry as a stedi-cam owner/operator and while work is sporatic might only work 10 days out of the month, those days are very hard 12+ hour days. Most of the time when I get home on the days he isn’t work, he is typically playing on his Xbox or PS3. I would also tend to say (and he did agree with me tonight) that about 75% of our time in the evenings at home together is spent with him playing viedo games in our main living room, while I either read or FB/Pinterest, etc.
I do my best to occupy myself with activities while he is playing, however tonight (and as it has been all last week) the Olympics are on! While they hold absolutely NO interest for my Dear Fiance he has been trying to let me watch them in the evenings. I understand that he is frustrated about not having his gaming time, but in my defense the olympics only come once every 4 years!? I do enjoy coming home and watching TV myself, but the remote is usually only handed to me after he is done playing for a few hours (or hasn’t quite gotten started yet). I only watch a few shows and it really isn’t a huge deal to me to have the TV every night.
My main frustration here is that when discussing it tonight I was not able to do it in a way that didn’t make me sound like a complete selfish bi*ch. All I was asking for was a bit of compromise in our evenings that maybe he could only play during the day when I’m not at home? or I could have days like T/Th where I might be able to catch up on my shows. I assured him that the olympics was temporary but clearly this proved to only “highlight an issue that we already had”. His response was that he would never dream of limiting any of my reading time as my “down time” so why should that be the case for him.
He has mentioned on more than one occasion that the best solution for “our” problem is that we should have 2 TV’s in our living room. One so that I can watch TV for whenever I want, and one for him to play his video games. Not only does every fiber of my interior designer being revolts at this thought I do not understand how this is a compromise? I do not think having 2 TVs will be restful for me when I do want to watch TV.
I don’t have any good argument (he’s an EXTREMELY brilliant and well logical man, and unfortuantly I’m used to getting my way) more than that I would love to be able to discuss these options when a better mindset.
**I know I might sounds impartial and rational in writing, but I do know that I can complain a lot and its one of my worse traits**
*I do no game myself, I have tried and enjoyed it as a kid, but find that it is not something I enjoy nor is it relaxing for me in any way after a long day of work. So joining “in” is not really an option.
*I do not think gaming is childish, i have many adult friends who enjoy it very much and I respect that like any other relaxing activity of choice. He is 30 and loves to go hiking, excercising, and will shop by my side until I’m tired
*He has a great sense of humor and a great deal of patience with me and my revolving issues and has learned to love me unconditional in a way I thought no man could.
*He is clean, responsible, and a hard worker when work comes his way.
***I am exceptionally grateful and thankful that if this is his main vice/way to decompress rather than strip clubs, drugs, violence, etc I will take gaming EVERY time***
I appreciate any help or advice especially from those couples that have found a healthy & happy medium!
In the mean time I will continue our happy planning!