Fiance is letting his younger brother stay at our house…

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
2973 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

How old is he? 

 

Post # 5
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

He has got to go in 3 weeks job or not! It is not your responsibility to be the safety net for your FI’s brother. He can always stay at a YMCA if he needs time to save $ or sort himself out. Or, maybe he could apologize for his behavior and work out something with his parents. Kids have to grow up sometime and that means taking responsibility for one’s actions in addition to financial independence.

Post # 6
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@mrscross1020:  I am absolutely on your side. If there are 3 folks paying the bills, then 3 folks need to be consulted before adding another roommate (especially a non-paying roommate). This totally rubs me the wrong way because my FI would never make a decision like this without consulting me, and I also could never imagine sponging off of someone else. It sounds like your privacy was limited before your living room was taken over and now it is non-existent.

I would absolutely be saying something, even if I had to play the bad guy. Your happiness is more important…and should be to your FI too! Yes, you help family but not at the expense of your own relationship. And “helping” family doesn’t mean supporting an able bodied person who is entirely capable of working and supporting themselves (I am assuming this is the case or else you wouldn’t be pissed off about it).

Post # 7
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Set a date by which he needs to have a job and start contributing to the bills or he has to move out.  It’s different than your brother because your brother is helping out and paying for his space.  Maybe a conversation with both brothers is in order to see where everyone stands.  I would almost put bunk beds in your brother’s room and have them divide up renting the room.  if they don’t like it then they can move out and find their own place.

Post # 8
Member
4413 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Not to mention, I’m sure YOUR brother is thrilled that he gets to pay to live there while your FI’s brother gets to live there for free … 

Post # 11
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@mrscross1020:  Any job, part time or not, means he starts contributing or gets out. If you can’t support yourself and live on your own, then guess what? You can’t support yourself or live on your own. I hate when people are act entitled. You worked to get to where you are, your brother is paying you rent, and it is simply not fair.

I’d be more pissed at FI for letting it happen than at his brother for being a lazy bum. He could be a lazy bum in someone else’s house if it wasn’t for your FI 😛

Post # 13
Member
2973 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

20 years old?? He should start contributing. Find a job in the timeline you set, and start paying rent – until he finds his own apt. 

I mean it’s never a bad idea to help out family, and asking your BF to kick his brother out on the street isn’t really the nicest thing to do…but I do understand that it is frusterating for you. 

Post # 15
Member
8426 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@mrscross1020:  If anyone should be giving him a free place to live it’s his parents, and they’re not even willing to do that.  He’s 20, not 13.  He needs to get his own place. 

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