Fiance left me

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
4576 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@AnchorSails:  Ya know, I was actually giving this guy credit for being honest and ending things with you…until I read this:

“He’s also said that he thinks this might be something that he just needs to get out of his system and that maybe he and I could reconcile in the future and continue with our “plans” of forever.”

He’s definitely trying to have his cake and eat it, too. A good dude would never put that little thought in your head to keep you around: he’d just be with you.

I really hope you aren’t still sleeping with him, and if you are, please stop immediately and see how quickly his tune changes. He is absolutely trying to live in 2 worlds.

Post # 4
Member
2555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

financial issues or no- YOU NEED TO STOP LIVING TOGETHER. You guys are broken up, but you don’t have a clean break. And yes, if you got back together with him after he finished sowing his wild oats, you would be his doormat. 🙁 You’re in a position where you are miserable and you can’t respect yourself. What’s more, HE is the one who jsut upended your life and he gets to do whatever the fuck he wants? No. No thank you. Either kick his ass out if you can afford your living arrangement on your own, or find a little one bedrom apartment somewhere and eat ramen twice a week for dinner. Being broke is better than being beaten down every.single.day.

 


 


You want to feel better? Get this troll out of your life.

 

Post # 5
Member
1625 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@AnchorSails:  MOVE OUT MOVE OUT MOVE OUT!

I am so sorry you are going through this, but that is all I really have to say. You said it’s financial reasons.. Do whatever you can to move out of there asap and move on with your life. What he is doing is hurtful and damaging. You will continue to feel hurt and lose your self esteem if you stick around to watch him go through this “phase”.

It is NOT worth pursuing, waiting around for him is doing nothing good for either of you. Find some self respect, treat yourself right, lean on your friends and family, and you will someday find someone who treats you the way you deserve. Never speak to this loser again.

Post # 6
Member
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

He wants to have his cake and eat it too.  I find it particularly cruel that he is already dating, much less while you are still living together.  I think you need to walk away from this man and find someone who would never treat you this way. You cannot heal with him in your life.  Do you have family or a friend you could move in with?

Post # 7
Member
552 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Leave him! He is using you and not being fair. He knows you’re there to take him back whenever he decides he’s ready and that is manipulative behavior. Drop his ass, date other guys, and when he does come crawling back, tell him it’s too late and he should’ve thought about that before putting you on this emotional rollercoaster of selfishness.

Post # 8
Member
3756 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I really hope you aren’t still sleeping with him, and if you are, please stop immediately and see how quickly his tune changes. He is absolutely trying to live in 2 worlds.”

This exactly. I’m sorry you are going through this but you have to find a way to get out of there and move on with your life. 

Post # 9
Member
8425 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

I agree with the other bees, move out and move on.  This guy is just going to treat you like a doormat if you let him.  You can totally do better.

Post # 10
Member
4441 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

You are exactly right when you say you are being a doormat and he is having his cake and eating it too.  He is stringing you along.  I think every woman has some kind of experience with this!

 

You HAVE GOT TO MOVE OUT!!!!!!!!  I know it’s hard, I know it’s expensive but my sweet jebus you can’t keep living with him while he’s dating other people (or hopefully ever again given he sounds like a dick).  You are never going to get over him otherwise and see this as clearly as all of the PPs are.

Post # 11
Member
1836 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

i’ll add to the herds of people saying “gtfo”

i hate to say it, but he is absolutely terrible. don’t sign yourself up for a marriage filled with his bullshit.

find a roommate on craigslist or something!! you should definitely stop living together.

Post # 12
Member
1696 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I get that you don’t have the financial means to get out. With that said, GET OUT.

 

You cannot distance yourself from your feelings or from him or regroup from this situation until you leave it behind. The old relationship is gone. If you’re going to rebuild, you have to abandon the previous relationship completely. Go crash on a friend’s couch, rent a teeny studio apartment, ANYTHING you can do to leave this situation.

You need a clean break and you can’t get one until you leave this situation.

Post # 13
Member
162 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

This makes me think of HIMYM kind of..just the way he’s treating you. You’re on his hook right now. You’ve gotta get off. He says not right now… well you need to say not ever! Be strong, you can do it! Its for the best.

Post # 14
Member
7262 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

This guy is a complete douchebag. You have to move out and get away from him. He is toxic to you. This is a relationship that is not worth pursuing.

Post # 15
Member
2063 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

whyyyyy are you putting yourself through this?!??! WHY?!?! OF COURSE you’re gonna be an emotional mess when your ex fiance is dating other women and… talking about them with you?! wtf wtf wtf!!!

get out. move in with family or friends. better yet, make him move out. HE ended things with you. this whole situation is a huge mess. and i know it’s hard but… no. you don’t want to end up with someone who isn’t sure about you and with his actions is telling you that you are not enough for him. in a couple years (maximum) you are going to look back and be like WHAT THE EFF WAS I THINKING?

Post # 16
Member
904 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

@AnchorSails:  I don’t have any personal experience with this, however I can tell you that no one deserves to be treated like this. You should make plans for one of you to move out immediately. I understand finances can play a part, but this is completely unfair to you. Could you even get over what he did if he tried to reconsile with you? I know I could never be with someone who was so selfish and hurt me so badly. Sorry OP 🙁

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