(Closed) fiancé promised to diet with me but doesn't

posted 6 years ago in Fitness
Post # 3
1433 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012 - Historic Lougheed House

You can’t make someone ELSE diet. You can only control how you look, how you diet, how you eat.  That being said….. Do you do the cooking?  Can you cook him low cal healthy meals?  Can you suggest you go on walks together? 

Men don’t often have a drive to lose weight like women do, and you pressuring him might even be pushing him away more.

Post # 4
687 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

@Mrs. Eagle:  +1. I was about to write something similar and can’t agree with you more. 


Post # 5
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I’m currently trying to lose weight and my husband isn’t, so I understand how frustrating it is. I agree with PP that you can’t make him diet, but you can encourage him to make healthier choices and support you in your weight loss. Help him make small changes like smaller portions, more vegetables, going for a walk after dinner, etc, rather than expecting him to start a diet and make a lot of changes.

Post # 7
831 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@CM326:  Do you do the shopping? I do, and if I don’t buy junk, he doesn’t eat junk. Unfortunately, sometimes I buy junk for myself, therefore he eats it 🙂

Also, “hiding” treats works too. If I buy a pack of cookiies, and I put them on a high shelf in the cabinet, he won’t see them, and therefore won’t eat them.

But I agree wiht PP – you can’t make someone else make these changes, but you can guide them in the right direction through your actions.

Congrats on the weight loss. You are exactly where I want to be in a couple of months 🙂

Post # 8
1645 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

@CM326:  You could try buying things that are already packaged in serving sizes. When I do that, things like chips and cookies last a lot longer. If I do buy bigger packages, I try to divide it up into sandwich bags when I get home. It helps Darling Husband and I with portion control.

Post # 9
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Why do you want him to diet? It kinda sounds like he doesn’t want to. And trying to force it on him is only going to make him resentful. If it is just a matter of him eating tasty things in front of you that tempt you, just ask him to reign that in. But changing his whole diet seems unreasonable.

Post # 10
1577 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Find out why he wanted to diet, and why you want him to diet.

Are you happy with how he looks now, or would either or both of you prefer he slim down? Are you looking for support & teamwork for your diet? It is solely a recognition of healthier lifestyle?

Post # 12
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

If you cook, perhaps you could also plate the food, and give each of you smaller portions.  Maybe he’ll just eat what’s in front of him and not realize that you gave him a little less than he would give himself.

Post # 13
1071 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I sort of have the same problem, my fi pretends to diet with me but sometimes he cheats.  I agree with what pps said, you need to control what is in the house available to eat.  Also try to find an excercise that both of you enjoy (rock climbing, swimming, surfing, sports, biking etc). Also, never under estimate the power of positive reinforcement.  For example, if both of you stick to your diet for the week, reward your selves with a movie or picnic on the beach.  Make sure you compliment him on his progress like “hey honey you are looking slim and sexy”. Hope this helps, congrats on the weight loss

Post # 14
449 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

guys are lucky when it comes to weight. my Fiance will stop drinking full cal pop and lose 15 lbs in 2 weeks while i bust my ass at teh gym and barely lose 4 lbs a month (if that) what we are starting to do if only have healthy stuff in the house. if crap food isn’t there then you can’t eat it. if you do the cooking and he sees he’s losing a bit of weight it might motivate him to lose more and start working out.

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