Fiance saw my dress and I'm really upset

posted 2 years ago in Dress
Post # 2
6439 posts
Bee Keeper

Bummer! But I doubt he will remember every single detail of the picture, and a picture is different than real life! I’m sure there will be some difference between how you look in the picture and how you will look on your wedding day. I think even without makeup, there’s just a glow that comes with your wedding day. He will still love it, and your day and surprise are not ruined. It will be ok!

Post # 3
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I can promise you that it will be so, so different when you are all dressed up and walking down the aisle. Even if you’re not going to be wearing additional accessories, or fancy hair and makeup. It will always be special when you walk down the aisle.

DH and I did a first look, and he bawled when he saw me. And I thought, well at least I got that emotion from him regardless of where we are, and that I wouldn’t get much of a reation when I walked down the aisle. I was SO wrong – he still cried when I walked down the aisle. Evern though we were fully dolled up together not 45 minutes prior. 

I understand why you’re upset – it’s more (at least I think) the fact that he knew he shouldn’t have been going through your pictures and did so anyway. But don’t think for a moment that just because he saw that picture, it’s ruined your walk down the aisle. I hope you feel better about it.

Post # 4
5208 posts
Bee Keeper

LeonardLady:  I think his response to you will be the same regardless of whether you wear that dress, a new one, or a paper bag. Guys don’t care about wedding dresses. All he is going to care about is that you are his, and you are gorgeous. 

I know it sucks, but try to step out of the situation and put it in perspective with your mind and not your heart. 

Post # 5
155 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

LeonardLady:  Breathe. Pour wine. Sip. Repeat 

He may have seen a glimpse of a photo…. but NOTHING will compare to the feelings he will have when he sees you at the end of the aisle. You are marrying your best friend with those closest to both of you celebrating your love and union. Your makeup and hair will look flawless, you’ll be exchanging vows, eating amazing food and celebrating. Those will be the best and biggest surprises of the day. Keep your chin up lady.

Post # 6
2323 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

LeonardLady:  Oh hon, don’t worry, he saw a cell phone photo, probably small in bad lighting.  To most men a white dress is a white dress, if you were to go out and buy a new dress he probably wouldn’t even notice it was different, and odds are good he’s already completely forgotten the details of the dress.  Just remember, he didn’t see YOU in the dress, he saw a photo.  Those are two totally different things.  Hope you feel better soon!!

PS these may be pre-wedding emotions you’re feeling, chances are if you weren’t crying about this it’d be about something else.  There’s a lot of stress and anticipation building up, it’s bound to blow every now and then.  Don’t be too hard on yourself 🙂

Post # 7
5208 posts
Bee Keeper

meowmeow071914:  This. The emotions that come from walking down the aisle will have little do with the dress(at least they shouldn’t). 

Post # 8
98 posts
Worker bee

LeonardLady:  I say don’t even worry about it, men forget about those things right away… When I fell in love with my wedding dress, before purchasing it, I showed it to my (then) FI to see if he liked it (he said it was gorgeous and it looked stunning on me blablabla). A few months after I bought it, I tried it on again when he wasn’t at home, and later that day when I told him I’d tried it on, he admitedly said that he didn’t even remember how it looked like and was looking forward to the wedding so he could see me in it again.. So don’t even sweat it, he will eventually forget how it looks!! And besides, on your wedding day you’re gonna look even more stunning than in the fitting because you’re gonna have your hair and make up done, and trust me, it’s not gonna look anything like the fitting picture!! He will be blown away!! Really, don’t worry about it, focus your energy on more productive things, and everything will be just fine.. good luck!!

Post # 9
6678 posts
Bee Keeper

I understand that you were not too happy with FI in that moment.  You asked him not to do something that meant something to you, he did it anyway, and on top of that  then he lacked the common sense to keep his big mouth closed. But believe me when I say, a two dimensional cell phone photo can’t begin to do justice to the way you will look in living, breathing, person. The moment you walk through those doors will stand out because it is THE moment. Every bride who has done a first look, including me, can tell you that much. 

So, try to readjust your attitude. It was an accident. You will be beautiful in your dress. Try your best to avoid obsessing and reliving the disappointment over and over again. That isn’t healthy and does not do you nor FI any favors. 

Post # 10
8680 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

If you love your dress, don’t get a new one. You might not love a new one as much as you have now.. and once you have your hair/makeup/everything all in place, you will look 100% better than you do in those photos he saw!

Plus, he’s a guy, he probably won’t remember much at all.

My fiance seen my dress, because it was in the end of a movie we were watching.. and I was like OMG that’s my dress! I didn’t even realize it until it came out of my mouth.

Post # 11
1487 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Crying for 24 hours? I’m sorry this happened but I hope you get some perspective soon. 

Post # 13
920 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

That really does suck. I think you need to take some deep breaths and try and move on. I would be pissed also, but not to the point where I would spend the whole day crying. 


You will look way different on your wedding day than you did in the picture he saw. Hair, makeup, jewlery, veil, flowers… it will give him a whole new view of you in the dress.  It will be your WEDDING DAY. It shouldn’t be any less special because he already got a peek of the dress. 

Post # 15
3637 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

LeonardLady:  Everything else aside, I hope he’s done some SERIOUS making up and realises just how upset you are.

If he had any common sense at all he would have realised that the photo was and backed out QUICKLY, so chances of him seeing anything are vey small. 

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