Post # 1
- Wedding: September 2013 - The Skinner Barn
So, I had a conversation with the fiance the other day about wedding photos. He is really against the first look but I was saying that I might want a first look so that we aren’t crying messes during the ceremony. His reponse?
“Why would I cry during the ceremony?”
I guess it took me a little off guard because my fiance is usually a pretty emotional man. We’re LDR and he cries every time we leave and has cried many times during fights or when we’re having really emotional conversations. I just assumed that he would be just as emotional during the ceremony and would cry. I know I will. His response actually hurt my feelings a bit.
My fiance explained that he doesn’t usually cry when he’s happy and he doesn’t think he’ll be too emotional on our wedding day. I said “What about when you first see me in my dress?” He responded “I mean…it’s just a dress…”
Am I being overdramatic about this? My feelings were genuinely hurt by these comments and I almost feel like I’m going to be mad at him on our wedding day if he doesn’t cry. It sounds a little silly, but how could he say he’s not going to be emotional….
Post # 3
@FutureMrsWeston: He can say all he likes, but it doesn’t mean he won’t be. DH is SO not emotional but he was in floods of tears when I walked down the aisle. It doesn’t reflect anything about you if he is or isn’t (I didn’t cry and I’m massively emotional).
Post # 4
Maybe he’s just not the type to cry tears of joy? Have you ever seen him cry because he is happy? In the examples you gave, he is emotional but sad or angry, not happy.
I think you are overthinking this. Neither you nor he can gauge your emotional reactions ahead of time, you may not cry either. I would try to get past this.
Post # 5
Some people are just not “tears of joy” people. For me, it’s just not a reaction that happens. Neither me or DH shed a single tear our entire wedding day.
Post # 6
Let it go. Men generally cry rarely, and it’s hard to predict when. Also perhaps there is a difference between tears of sadness and tears of happiness. My husband cries on very rare occasions (e.g. funerals) but I don’t think I’ve ever seen him cry with joy, and I certainly didn’t see him cry at our wedding. Don’t worry about it and certainly don’t think he loves you any less if he doesn’t cry.
Post # 7
I cried but my DH didn’t. Who cares? Not me. 🙂
Post # 8
I think it’s hard to predict what reactions you’ll have on the day, so I would cut him some slack. And even if he doesn’t cry, so what? I’m sure he’ll be estatic to be getting married, and that’s what’s important if you ask me.
Post # 9
@FutureMrsWeston: You’re being overdramatic.
I’m reading this as “I’m going to be happy and smiling, not crying.” and “A dress won’t make you any more beautiful to me and no piece of clothing could make me love you more, or make me happier to see you”
BOOM! Go high five your fi or something.
ps- if it bothers you so much, make it a petty personal challenge to make him cry on your wedding day. 😀 Work on some sort of “Disney moment expression” to shoot at him, I dunno… 😀 Play the growing old clip from “UP” with a projector onto your dress. 😉
Post # 10
I didn’t even cry on my wedding day, and I cry at everything.
Post # 11
My FI always tells me don’t expect him to cry hah, I think guys just have a hard time picturing how emotionally charged the day is because they haven’t been romantisizing it in their heads all the years us girls have! Haha. Don’t worry, even if you don’t see tears that day you’ll be able to see his happiness 🙂
Post # 12
I’ll probably be crying my head off so, I hope he doesn’t cry. I’m a total crybaby. Now that I think about it, we’ve been together 5 years and I’ve only seen him cry once, when our cat died.
Post # 13
I think it’s hard for anyone (who has never been married) to predict how they’ll react on the wedding day. It’s a once in a lifetthe experience and like nothing you’ve ever been through before.
Post # 14
I wouldn’t think about it too much.
I’ve seen my FI cry a few times, but it was usually just when we were in the resolution stages of a pretty serious argument, where he’d finally break down and tell me what was REALLY stressing him out and causing our fight. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him happy-cry.
So I look at it this way- I’m totally not expecting FI to cry, at all. But on the bright side, if he *does* cry I will be completely shocked and surprised, in a good way. 🙂
Just because he isn’t a crier doesn’t mean he loves you any less than a man who would cry.
Post # 15
🙁 I would be hurt too. But he did say that he doesn’t cry when he’s happy, so it’s not that he’s not looking forward to that day. Men don’t realize that being “emotional” also applies to being happy. I’m willing to be that he’ll cry.
As for the dress, some guys are just like that. They just don’t realize how much certain things mean to us, and they’re blind to the unspoken expectation that they will be wow-ed and mesmerized by us when we walk down the aisle.
Don’t worry though, he says this now, but I’ve never heard of a groom who was unfazed by their wife’s wedding dress. His jaw will drop, or his eyes will glaze over, whatever. It won’t be “just a dress” to him on that day.
Post # 16
My fiancé and I had a similar conversation and he swears that he’s not going to cry. I’ve seen him cry once in almost 6 years so my goal is to make him shed at least one tear at our wedding. If you say your fiancé is a little emotional he’ll probably cry. As women we know whaMcWilliams make us cry and can be overcome with emotion. I think the guy has to be in the moment.