Post # 1
I know weddings are not really guy’s things… but I am really trying to make our reception be half wedding, half party! I want it to be fun! Most of our friends and family are flying across the country so I want it to be enjoyable for everyone! ESPECIALLY us! I got a great DJ, karaoke, beer pong, flip cup, bar, dinner, game table, kids table… I don’t know what else to do, but he says he isn’t going to have fun and he’s going to be miserable and I know that when he makes up his mind that that’s how it’s going to be there’s nothing that I can do to change it and he’s going to bring me down too. And if you have an unhappy groom and bride then nobody else is going to enjoy it either. I am upset and don’t know what to do.
Post # 3
I’m going to withhold my judgment on the groom for now and ask you WHY he says he’s going to be miserable? What is it about the wedding/reception that makes him think he’s going to be miserable?
Post # 4
why exactly does he think he’s going to be miserable?
Post # 5
It sounds to me that you are trying your best to make the day a fun one for him. Sadly, some people are stubborn and when they want to be miserable, then there is nothing you can really do.
That being said, why does he feel this way? Is it the attention, or does he feel his friends and family do not want to be there? Have you asked him specifically WHY he will be miserable? What is his idea of having a good time? Ask how else you could possibly make it better…
Post # 6
Your own wedding? Yikes. I’m so sorry to hear that he’s being negative about it. Has he offered any suggestions or insight?
Post # 7
I could only imagine how you must be feeling.
Do you think that he feels he is being forced to get married?
Post # 8
Sorry I explained the “why” originally, but lost the post and had to start over.
He is not a people person and doesn’t like to socialize (and opposed to me). Also he is complaining about having to wear the tux for so long although I think we worked that out by me agreeing to him changing after the first dance and cake cutting, etc. is done.
I think mainly he just hates the fact that he is going to have to socialize for 4+ hours. He is kinda a couch potato and prefers to sit home alone and drink and watch TV.
Post # 10
@jamielb: so whose idea was it to have however many guests you’re having? why didn’t he say anything before?
@StuporDuck: I laughed at that one.
Post # 11
Ok, I get that the reception might not be his cup of tea, but he is being really bratty and immature about it. It’s 4 hours out of his life to celebrate one of the most important milestones of your lives. He needs to put on his big boy pants (literally – he can’t wear a tux for 4 hours??) and stop whining and making you feel like crap.
That’s my opinion, and if he kept sulking I would tell him that straight out.
Post # 12
I underStand being anxious about social settings but it’s an amazing special day he should be excited!! I am honestly a little shocked and I feel bad for you, you should both be over the moon for the day! I hope he gets over whatever his issues are…
Post # 13
I guess he’s not feeling comfortable being a center of attention? My husband was very happy with our intimate wedding in Hawaii. He told me he would be too nervous with normal wedding with many people eyeing on us, LOL.
Post # 14
Don’t lose hope. My husband was somewhat similar. He didn’t really harp on it, but he wasn’t excited about the wedding like I was and whenever I’d try to get his opinion on stuff he would mention that the whole wedding/reception wasn’t really for HIM and he was okay with doing it for me but he wasn’t really going to have fun. He was the same as your husband in that he just haaaates parties, doesn’t like big groups at all, and in addition my husband doesn’t drink. So yea.. I was a little worried.
But you know what? He had an AWESOME time. I put him in charge of music because that is one thing he actually cares about and he made the most kick-ass play lists and everyone had such a good time. The morning after the wedding he told me he had a great time and he was glad we did it and it was totally worth all the money we spent.
Post # 15
I understand him not wanting to be the center of attention butt here is reallyno way around it. Just remind him that for the better part of the reception it will be you and him dancing, eating dinner, cutting cake and then you can go to each tabel to say hi. That alone takes up a bunch of time. if he starts to feel anxious, he can always pull you aside for some alone time. On a couple’s wedding day, everyone understands when you disappear for a few moments.
Post # 16
That sucks, but it’s possible he will end up enjoying the day more than he thinks. To get his mind off of it, could you plan him a special day at home to celebrate your marriage? All his favorite movies, foods etc. Or you could make it a themed day in (like watching all the Godfather movies and having Italian food). Then when he complains about the wedding you can refocus him on the party for 2 you are planning.