(Closed) Fiance’ sister/stepsister dilemma

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

How about, you just not ask the stepsister to be involved? She doesn’t need to be around when you ask the sister, and if anyone asks if she’s in the wedding, you can say no.  I don’t see anything wrong with that. His sister is not only his sister, but also your friend. SS is not

Post # 5
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Well, just because she wants to be in the wedding, doesn’t mean you have to put her in. Just tell her that you are sorry, but all positions have been filled.  It may cause some frustration, but honestly, would she have you in her wedding if she was getting married?? I dont’ believe that siblings automatically get to be in your wedding just because they are related to you, or anyone for that matter. 

My mom had one moment where she told my brother that she would be pissed if he wasn’t in my wedding, and my brother looked at her like she was crazy and said, “Mom, Mrs S is not going to pick his side, and I only want to be in the wedding if he wants me to stand up for him. This is just crazy talk, and you need to back off.” And that was the only crazy moment my mom had.  And you know what? My brother ended up being our officiant instead. It actually worked out that all of our siblings had a part in the wedding, but we are also close to all of our siblings, and we have no step siblings. 

I guess my point is, don’t feel obligated to put her in the wedding.  I know it isn’t always easy to say no, but sometimes, you have to put your foot down. Be honest with the sister, and hopefully she is mature enough to understand

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