Post # 1
My engagement ring is a lovely half carat solitare in a tension setting white gold band. It is MORE then I expected and he spent a pretty penny on it. I love it, no doubt about it. We are now looking at wedding bands. I want a diamond band, a modest one as we are on a budget(like $500). Fiance is of the opinion that wedding bands should be plain. A diamond band takes away from the engagement ring. And me wanting “more” diamonds must mean that one he got me wasn’t enough. That is so NOT what I was thinking. There is no hidden meaning or motive. The reality is I wouldn’t buy a plain ring of any type, wedding or not, I don’t see the point. Same as i would not buy a plain chain necklace.
Anybody else’s fiance say something like this?
Since I don’t actually feel that way and never had thoughts like that his opinion was rather unexpected. I guess i can see what he means even though i don’t agree. Luckily he doesn’t feel strongly about it hence the “sorta offended”. He took my word for it when i explained my point of view. In the end he doesn’t actually care what a wear on my finger, what i like is what I like. It could be purple and he doesn’t care cause he isn’t wearing it LOL
Post # 3
@kaleko: Originally, my DH questioned why I wanted diamonds in my wedding band. But I don’t think he knew what style I was looking at. Once I showed him what I was considering, he was fine with it. I opted for the following, it cost $399. My engagement ring is .7 ct center stone, the wedding band is 1/4 tcw. Sorry, it is not a great quality pic.
Post # 4
Well in some cultures, a Plain Band is the norm (or requirement)
The whole idea of putting stones into a WBand is a pretty new concept… been around just since the 1980s…
I remember when it first started… cause I was a Bride myself back then… the trend was for just a wee chip
What we now often see with multiple stones started out as the Diamond Industry / Jewellery Biz promoting more Diamonds to women who they figured were in need of an update…
That all started with the Anniversary Bands & Past-Present-Future Rings.
Later to become the Eternity Bands
All 3 of which are now quite common as WBands.
Girls we tend to like pretty sparkly things… men not so much
So they don’t really get it.
And YES if it is an added expense, then a Man’s Ego might see it as what has he done so far as not being good enough.
That isn’t a good thing. Last thing you want to get into is any sort of resentment about your ERing – Engagement etc.
On the other hand…
You can find some Half Eternity Bands in the 1/4 C range that aren’t uber expensive. If your budget is $ 500 it is probably do-able.
Heck… a Plain Gold Ring in many places is going to come in at a surprising $ 200 to $ 300 as I found out last year when I was looking for myself.
Hope this helps (some),
Post # 5
@kaleko: I think it comes as a surprise to a lot of fiancees. My wedding band is a small (1/6th of a ct.) half eternity set in palladium and that was $989. FI originally thought he wanted a gold or platinum plain band and those ranged from $300-$700.
I think they get it in their head that they are supposed to throw down a ring, and that’s where the expensive jewelery store trips end. 🙂
Post # 6
@kaleko: I’ve got a plain wedding band, as do many (most?) women my age (40s). I’m guessing it’s the norm in his experience (i.e. his parents) so he was kind of shocked that you expected anything different.
Post # 7
My wedding band has diamonds, but not an eternity band and the diamonds are not very large. I wanted a little bit of sparkle just b/c I knew I’d be occasionally wearing my wedding band solo. I also felt like having some diamonds in my bands looked nice next to my solitaire engagement ring. My partner was not bothered at all, but he also was of teh mind that i should get the final say. He did not want me to get a band with large diamonds, b/c then he felt like I would be wanting to show off (and it’d be expensive anyway). This time of year you may be able to find a very good deal, so maybe check around and tell your fiance what you wrote here.
Post # 8
Heck my guy originally didn’t even know there were two rings lol. When we were originally looking into e-rings I told him that I don’t like the look of perfectly matching sets because it just looks like an e-ring with a thick band (to me, personal preference). So I told him that if he choose an e-ring with pave band I’d choose a plain wedding band and vice versa. He bought me a plain band solitaire so he knows he’s on the hook for a sparkly wedding band 😉
Post # 9
The band I’ve selected doesn’t have stones in it, but it isn’t “plain” by any definition of the word. It’s heavily engraved. It quite suits me. I could have gone for a ring with stones, but this is the one I liked.
Post # 10
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
I’d recommend sitting him down and showing him a couple threads on here about wedding sets! He’ll see that at least half of the wedding bands are blingy. I have a plain band, but it’s super common to get a blingy one. It’s a popular style and doesn’t say anything about the size (or lack therof) of the e-ring, it just is a preference of band style.
If it were us, I would show him several threads, his eyes would start to glaze over, he’d want to escape the Wedding Bee slideshow, and he’d quickly agree to a nice blingy band! 😉 Within reason and finances, of course.
Post # 11
- Wedding: June 2014 - EDD Aug '15
@kaleko: Exactly the same with me. I got a half carat ering with some smaller side stones (don’t know the correct terminology).
FI was sad I wanted diamonds in my wband too as I ‘have enough’. Anyway after debating and a little sulking from me I finally decided to get a plain band so we could both get the exact same band to match each other, and to be traditional like my other family members. Actually I’m happy with the choice now 🙂
Post # 12
@kaleko: i think its the opposite. I think the diamond band actually brings more attention to the ering. My ering and wband both have diamonds in the band and to me i feel like the center stone stands out more
Post # 14
@kaleko: I have a 5 stone diamond band. They don’t have to be expensive as usually the quality of the diamonds in the band isn’t as good as the diamonds in the engagement ring. My engagement ring was a surprise but I did have input into my wedding band (DH offered me 3 choices, all were diamond bands)
Post # 15
We opted for a wedding band that closely matched my e-ring. The band is like 1/5th ctw and honestly wasn’t much more expensive than the plain gold ones.
Post # 16
My husband would have been suprised too…and possibly thought that it was because our engagement ring was not enough. Luckily for us we never had to find out as I wanted a plain band, for practical and emotional reasons.
He also told me a couple of weeks ago that he would have bought me a more expensive engagement ring if he had realised that I was going to wear it every day. He though I would be taking it off as soon as we were married!
So its all about what people think of as the norm.
(luckily again for us, I love my engagement ring just as it is and woudnt have wanted anything different)